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Monthly, Wanna Pull yer Hair Out, Syfy Thread...

C

cylkoth

Commodore
Commodore
It's September, which means it's time for another Syfy "They did/said what?!!!" thread. Comments so profoundly insipid, we the viewers are then castigated for 'over reacting' and taking things too seriously.
Here's the latest pearls of wisdom, regarding the network's ratings success with their Saturday night (horrible) grade Z movie franchise...

"We watch the movies to make sure they have logical consistencies . . . The movies have an internal logic that we never stray from. The audience appreciates that the movies hang together, so you're given an entertaining experience from beginning, middle to end."



Syfy churns out 24 of these movies a year. The network relies heavily on fast-moving indie production companies capable of shooting movies in just one month.


"We didn't want [the movies] to look like theatricals. We wanted them to look unique, like the sci-fi and creature movies that our audience grew up with in the '70s and '80s that used to be made for theatrical release . . . the kind of movies that are rarely made these days."
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Click to expand...

​


http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/low_fi_sci_fi_4hQAFuL3us1o9b0PW4Q1fO

:wtf: :eek: :alienblush:

:rofl: Internal logic? Consistent plots? :lol: What network has he been watching? :guffaw:
 
It's their version of internal logic. They define it one way and want the movies to conform to it. Too bad their definition is crap.
 
A movie can be deliberately stupid and still be consistent with its own internal rules. Nobody is claiming this is great TV, just that it's entertaining.

And never forget, a network can only keep putting out programming of a certain type if viewers are watching it. The bottom line is, these deliberately silly monster movies get good ratings. People out there want to see them, and that's why the network keeps making them. I imagine it's the same impulse that made Mystery Science Theater 3000 successful for so long. People enjoy watching silly movies and making fun of them. The difference is that instead of making a show that's about mocking movies that were originally made with serious intent, now the movies are self-mocking and winking at the audience the whole time.

Personally I don't quite get it either. But what I don't get even more is the way some people assume that a network's programming choices are arbitrary and somehow working against what the audience wants. TV networks aren't charities; they only focus their efforts on what's profitable. If you don't like a commercial network's choice of emphasis, blame the audience, not the network.
 
Well, I'm definitely watching SHARKTOPUS . . . .

Seriously, those Syfy monster movies vary drastically in quality, as everything does, but the best of them are good, giddy fun. Sometime you just want to watch a silly monster movie. The good syfy movies are no different from the old drive-in flicks, like EARTH VS. THE GIANT SPIDER or HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, that we all watched as kids . . . .
 
There may be a generation gap here that affects one's ability to appreciate the SyFy original movies. Speaking as someone in his late 20s, drive-in movies are not part of my experience, and I have no special fondness for low-budget, silly monster movies. I appreciate a light-hearted approach to science fiction, but I still prefer those movies to have high production values, such as in Wall*E and Men in Black.

I would like to see the network throw a few more ambitious projects into the mix like their Dune miniseries from 2000. They should give the audience something to really look forward to each year at a minimum.
 
Well, it's the glut of lowbrow, low-budget productions that bring in enough profit to allow the network to make the occasional classier, more expensive thing. Same as with wrestling. It's how they pay the bills for the quality stuff.

I'm sure they'd like to do more high-quality, high-budget, critically acclaimed stuff -- everyone wants critical approval. But this is a capitalist system, so they're at the mercy of their budget. They can only make as many ambitious projects as they can afford to make.
 
I miss when a low-budget production would try to make up for it by being over-ambitious or sleazy or gratuitous or funky or whatever. The problem with most of the Syfy movies is they are so sterile because they are just filling in the blanks of the formula before moving on to the next one.

The only inspired element seems to be in who they cast for these things. It can be fun sometimes to see what genre actor or washed-up celeb they roped into one of these. They do seem to put some effort into this over just pulling some random schlub off the streets of Vancouver.
 
How many of the "SyFy originals" movies are even made by them? They're usually just movies from low budget studios that make their TV debut on SyFy because no other network wants them. They're probably keeping The Asylum (Transmorphers, Snakes on a Train) afloat since the rental stores are dying and people won't be picking up I Am Omega thinking it's I Am Legend even though the latter just premiered at the movie theater.
 
Smiley said:
There may be a generation gap here that affects one's ability to appreciate the SyFy original movies. Speaking as someone in his late 20s, drive-in movies are not part of my experience, and I have no special fondness for low-budget, silly monster movies.

.
Click to expand...


Hmm. Interesting theory. Low-budget monster movies are comfort food to me, but maybe that's because I grew up on "Nightmare Theater" and double bills of TROG and VALLEY OF THE GWANGI at the Midway Drive-In.

Do younger people, who grew in the post-Spielberg/Lucas era, feel differently?
 
cylkoth said:
It's September, which means it's time for another Syfy "They did/said what?!!!" thread. Comments so profoundly insipid, we the viewers are then castigated for 'over reacting' and taking things too seriously.
Here's the latest pearls of wisdom, regarding the network's ratings success with their Saturday night (horrible) grade Z movie franchise...


"We watch the movies to make sure they have logical consistencies . . . The movies have an internal logic that we never stray from. The audience appreciates that the movies hang together, so you're given an entertaining experience from beginning, middle to end."​




Syfy churns out 24 of these movies a year. The network relies heavily on fast-moving indie production companies capable of shooting movies in just one month.​


"We didn't want [the movies] to look like theatricals. We wanted them to look unique, like the sci-fi and creature movies that our audience grew up with in the '70s and '80s that used to be made for theatrical release . . . the kind of movies that are rarely made these days."​
Click to expand...



http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/low_fi_sci_fi_4hQAFuL3us1o9b0PW4Q1fO

:wtf: :eek: :alienblush:

:rofl: Internal logic? Consistent plots? :lol: What network has he been watching? :guffaw:
Click to expand...

And yet you keep watching those movies. :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw:
 
There's a Sci-Fi Channel plot generator:
http://www.trhonline.com/scifichannel/


All we need is a monster name generator for the channel (one comes up in Google, but it's spam).

Okay, let's pick something random like an eel. Okay, now let's combine with something bigger and deadlier like a lion, and now throw in something stupid to the name ot make it sound professional, and we get:

Gargantuan Eellion


"SyFy" should seriously consider using both these to keep up the quality productions. ;-)
 
No, no, no -- it should be a cyborg experiment that crosses an eel and a lion, creates a giant hybrid, then bionically modifies it into a form of ground transportation. It would be called:

Lion-Eel Train!
 
And when they sting you, you become a zombie.

I've seen movies not far off from this, including one where it was essentially parasitic slugs that zombified people. It was on NetFlix stream but was otherwise a SyFy movie. Only good for a budget of its size.

It didn't take itself seriously and it was intentionally spoofing right down to the most effective way to kill a zombie-slug/person (take a wild guess how). It was called Zombie Town.
 
^^ It really is! The title is very Syfy, submit it now P0sitr0nic! Didn't they have some challenge to name a movie recently?
 
I really like SyFy original movies because they are fun and entertaining in an over the top unintentionally humorous way. I mean, who else is going to make these movies or show them to us? I want fun movies that take you for a 90 minute ride of rediculous monsters with bad acting, bad dialogue, and a bare bones plot to hold it all together. Hollywood movies take themselves too seriously and I honestly prefer SyFy movies to the vast majority of crap that Hollywood puts out. SyFy movies are crap too but at least they are enjoyable.

Do not change anything SyFy channel you are doing great with your original movies and I can't wait for Sharktopus. Mega Pirahna and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus are on my christmas wish list.
 
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