Caption Contest 53: Novocaine

[Nerys Myk]

But first the winners:

Not So Curious Yellow Award

Captain Archer learns, the hard way, why you don't use a shower stall as a urinal.



.

Modesty Panel Award

Archer: "Any higher and we're going to have to activate the censorship field."

Size Matters Award

Phlox: Look at the size of that thing!

Archer: Its got to be a foot long!

T'Pol: I can say from experience that it is exactly 30.48 centimeters long.

Archer and Phlox: (blank stares)

T'Pol: Er...I mean...Judging by the terminal readout I estimate it to be that long.

Its a Control Panel and A Snack Tray Award

Reed: You know what would be good design sense?"
Tucker: "What?"
Reed: "Jelly Beans for console buttons. That way if you get peckish, you could lick the console."

Congratulations to the winners! You are not the father!

And now this weeks pics:

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[F. King Daniel]

The NX-01 touring comedy show makes another stop. Here you see their "arrested for being too sexy" sketch.

Captain Archer's Chewbacca impression is second to none.

Archer: Who wants to say grace?

Everyone else: (*blank stares*)

 

[Gorn Captain]

"You've lost that LOOOOOVVVVVINNNNG FEELING, now it's gone, gone gone....."

 

[F. King Daniel]

"It's been a long road,
gettin' from there to here.
It's been a long road,
but my time is finally here!"

 

[Admiral Shran]

Archer: Oh boy!
Phlox: Why do you keep saying that?!

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Ah, crap. Did I leave the shower on?"

Archer: "Man, rough neighborhood."

Alien: "You have no idea, sexy."

Alien: "Squeel for me, Piggy!"

Archer: "So Phlox tells me that I won't need the doughnut anymore by next week."

*spit take*

 

[Assimilated Tom]

Scott Bakula reacts to his first viewing of These are the Voyages....

Next time on Star Trek: Enterprise. Trapped in the past, Archer and the alien-of-the-week are captured by Maynard, Zed, and the Gimp.

Travis relates to Archer, Trip, and T'Pol what happened after Shran tried calling him "pinkskin."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Assailant #1: "This one looks like he could really squeal like a pig!"
Assailant #2: "And this one's got a real purty mouth!"
Archer: "Look, we don't want any trouble. We're just looking for the Tucker homestead. Their son is our chief engineer."

 

[6079SmithW]

Thanks for the win!

Bakula: Why is Johnathan Frakes walking onto the set? And why is he dressed in a TNG uniform?

Travis: Delicious dinner we're having tonight.

Archer: THAT'S ENOUGH OUTTA YOU!!!!

 

[Captain Crow]

Archer: I thought we were going to have Porthos for dinner?

Trip: We are.

Archer: I don't see him. Where is he?

Mayweather: Begining stages of the digestion process.

 

[AMQ]

Thanks for the win!

Bakula: Why is Johnathan Frakes walking onto the set? And why is he dressed in a TNG uniform?

That's just great

 

[Mistral]

Travis relates to Archer, Trip, and T'Pol what happened after Shran tried calling him "pinkskin."

Nobody notices the funny taste of the "chicken" in the Chicken Alfredo...

 

[Mistral]

Bakula: "I am never going to another Macy's Labor Day sale again. Those women are animals!"

 

[Alrik]

Mayweather: "Thank you, Captain, for the dinner invitation. And might I add, Commander Tucker, that I agree with you, the Sub Commander really DOES have a nice rack."

Archer: "Well you're welcome Travis, and yes, she....wait a minute....WHA?"

 

[LeadHead]

T'Pol: They're human. You didn't notice they were carrying Magnum guns?

Archer: We're unarmed, we just want to talk.

Novan: What's in this?

Phlox: A Phase Rifle, a Phase Pistol and a Throwing Star.

Archer: Okay, I'm screwed.

Novan: WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING MAYWEATHER?!

Mayweather: I'd like to write the report on this mission.

Archer: Well, you did very little to contribute to it. In fact we barely saw you in the second half of the episode. You weren't there when the Novans decided to trust us.

Tucker: Cap'n this is the most he's likely to do on a mission for months.

Archer: Touche.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

off screen: R2D2 explodes

Han Solo: "I dunno, maybe I can hotwire this thing."

Sam Beckett: "Oh boy!"

 

[6079SmithW]

Trip, internal monologue: I hope T'Pol isn't pregnant.

T'Pol, internal monologue: I wonder if I should tell Trip that I'm pregnant.

Travis, obnoxiously loud: So Phlox tells me you're pregnant.

Archer: *chokes on food*

 

[Smellincoffee]

Archer: Say, either of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin' and highway robbery?
Phlox: Captain, is this really the best time to look for additional hands for Commander Tucker? We're in a tight spot.

The recent movie-night showing of O Brother Where Art Thou had unexpected consequences.

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: What's Mayweather doing here?

Trip: What? You said you wanted a quiet dinner party.