[Opening]
HERE'S HOW A SUPERMAN SHOW SHOULD LOOK....HA-HA! FOOLED YOU!
[Someboddddy saaaave meeee!]
Clark: "Chloe, if the Book of Raul Julia is opened, all Kryptonians will leave...including me.
Chloe: "And Kara, too?"
Clark: "Who's Kara?"
Chloe: "Never mind, it's JSA cameo time."
[Back at Fortress of Ineptitude]
Tess: "I'm gonna kryptonite-knuckle you, Zod!"
Zod: "OUCH! BTW, if you're gonna beat someone to death, beat them to death, don't talk. Also, FRYYYYYYYY!"
[Watchtower]
Chloe: "Satellite's go bye-bye."
Ollie: "How's about I reveal I have a satellite that requires activation by infiltrating some place that has air ducts large enough for me to crawl around in?"
Chloe: "Seems contrived, but..."
[Fortress...]
Clark: "Zod...something-something...time waster."
Zod: "Clark, something arrogant-smug-time waster." (Flies away)
Clark: "OMG, Tess...you are half baked!"
[Hospital...]
Tess: "Why aren't I dead yet?"
Clark: "You have to reveal something out of the blue that will help me defeat ZOD."
Tess: "Frak that, I'd rather die."
[Smallville...farm...no actual Smallville scenes on a show named "Smallville]
Lois: "I'll stop snooping just as Clark shows..."
Clark: "Lois, I'd ask why you are up here...but I'm too occupied with my usual internal conflict."
Lois: "JUST TELL ME YOUR SECRET."
Clark: "What you say? No secrets here. I mean, if you think I have one, you'd rub the proof in my face, right? RIGHT?"
[Hospital...]
Doctor type person: "This bitch is dying...ah...she croaked."
Nurse: "Dammit, let's all leave her body unattended."
Knitting granny: "I'll go steal her jewelry."
[Fake-looking Metropolis street set...]
Zod: "You get that thing I sent you for?"
Lois: "Dude, it totally occured to me you might be a fake!"
Zod: "Blast!!"
[Obligatory roof top confrontation...]
Zod: "Ha! Clark, my army will stop you before you can activate that Book of Easy Rawlins."
Clark: "Nope, I'll trick you into revealing to them what a dick you are."
Zod: "Blast."
Clark: "Alirght, everyone let's go to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky!)"
Zod: "Wrong. I have Callum Blue Kryptonite!"
Clark: "Yawn. Another fight scene then. Screw this, I'll just stab myself."
Zod: "Yeah, die! Wait...oh, blast..."
TO BE CONTINUED WITH ANOTHER HALF-ARSED STORY ARC.