Poll on genders and orientation v2
- Thread starter JarodRussell
- Start date
The problems don't lie with the labels but rather with people misrepresenting who they really are and/or not being comfortable with what the labels might suggest about them. Gay men and women don't want to be slated and treated like "not real men or women" but no matter how they behave it's not going to change the fact that they're gay, bisexual, lesbian, bicurious, etc. If you do not feel such a strict label then this can easily be expounded upon by saying "I am straight but sometimes I like men/women," in a similar fashion that other people on this thread have suggested. Another difference is whether or not people are referring to lifestyle or merely sexual preference, but that is neither here nor there.
Theoretically, who cares what conclusions someone draws from your sex life if you're truly comfortable with it? Rock that sex life! And if people are comfortable with it, why shouldn't we label people sexually? There are things you like to do and people you want to be with, sexually. These are very distinct from the myriad things you don't like to do and the tons of people you would never be with, sexually. Why should we pretend everyone's perfectly and innately bisexual and hedonistic when they're not? This is the notion I often get from the entire "labels are stupid" movement. Just because some people, gay and straight, can't handle words like "I'm gay" and some people misuse "bisexual" doesn't make the label faulty by nature---it's what we do and think about those labels that fuel insecurities, and how we use them that raises questions.
Anyways, I find it interesting that the ratio of gay to straight males indicated by this poll seems to be roughly parallel to that of real life, but the female ratio doesn't seem to be as close.
Theoretically, who cares what conclusions someone draws from your sex life if you're truly comfortable with it? Rock that sex life! And if people are comfortable with it, why shouldn't we label people sexually? There are things you like to do and people you want to be with, sexually. These are very distinct from the myriad things you don't like to do and the tons of people you would never be with, sexually. Why should we pretend everyone's perfectly and innately bisexual and hedonistic when they're not? This is the notion I often get from the entire "labels are stupid" movement. Just because some people, gay and straight, can't handle words like "I'm gay" and some people misuse "bisexual" doesn't make the label faulty by nature---it's what we do and think about those labels that fuel insecurities, and how we use them that raises questions.
Anyways, I find it interesting that the ratio of gay to straight males indicated by this poll seems to be roughly parallel to that of real life, but the female ratio doesn't seem to be as close.
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^I've been wondering about that too. I have noticed in fandom (particularly in LiveJournal-centric fandom, with which I guess not everyone here is familiar), women who ID as something other than hetero are hugely over-represented in comparison to what 'mainstream' statistics would have one believe. I've always found that fascinating.
Of course, the sample size over here is so small it could mean nothing or anything.
Of course, the sample size over here is so small it could mean nothing or anything.
Straight male here -- it's so weird to actually be part of a majority in something. 
I will admit, though, that I might have a bit of a bi-curious streak; I never really fantasize about being with another man, but if the opportunity presented itself, and if he was an exceptionally pretty man... eh, who knows? Although it would probably be easier if it was happening during some sort of group activity that also involved a lady or two.
I will admit, though, that I might have a bit of a bi-curious streak; I never really fantasize about being with another man, but if the opportunity presented itself, and if he was an exceptionally pretty man... eh, who knows? Although it would probably be easier if it was happening during some sort of group activity that also involved a lady or two.
there's only one bloke i would even remotely consider going gay for and that's John Barrowman.
i'd rather be with a woman.
i'd rather be with a woman.
I would say i am a lesbian trapped inside a straight 32 year old males body 
Janeway turned me. No question...
Withers
Captain
USS Intrepid said:
Is there such a thing as the "bisexual community?" I live in Seattle, one of the most openly gay cities in the United States (it's to the point we don't even need Chicago's Boystown- it's so accepted it isn't even slightly a big deal anymore) and I've run across all manner of people and no where have I seen any evidence of such a "community." The general consensus (in the most...flattering way) is that bisexuality is a state of "openness" that generally finds its resolution when one ultimately must decide a.) whether or not he/she wants to have a partner for any extended period of time (like, say, a marriage) and b.) what ultimately they discovery they truly want after years of trial and error- and again, that's the most flattering description of it I've come across. I also know people who think GLBT is an affront and that the B and the T should get their own "bandwagon" as lumping everything that isn't intercourse between a man and a woman seems unfair (in their eyes.) But I digress...
That isn't to say people stop being bisexual at some point just that the term becomes irrelevant. Like having a pizza only to walk outside the restaurant, spot a hot dog vendor and say, if I hadn't just eaten I'd have a hot dog. Who cares?
That's why I question the existence of a "community." It seems like something most people could only subscribe to for so long. Eventually don't you have to get off the fence and go with one or the other assuming you don't plan on being "unattached" for vast tracks of your life?
-Withers-
Everyone figured I was gay the last 3 years when I was with a woman. I was still attracted to guys, though, so I am bisexual, but was monogamous (not gay). Bi folks could easily be polyamorous (polygamous/polyandrous) if they like to share with others.
I'm not on any fences, either. I tore the damn fence down. I LIKE BOTH. A monogamous long-term relationship can't change that. Being married doesn't make a straight man "Jennysexual", does it?
I think the "gay community" (be it gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, "other") is less of a necessity now that there are more straight allies and accepting parents. Same with the gayborhoods, which are rapidly disappearing or being overrun with nuYuppies. My "lifestyle" involves yarncraft and Star Trek, not Birkenstocks and overalls (ugh). (The transgendered, I'll say, do still seem to have a rough road ahead. It frequently astounds me how well accepted -- worshipped! -- they are in India, and how in Iran it's considered better to get a sex change than to be gay... but in the US, people are terrified of TG people.)
Withers
Captain
Right, but that's what I was saying- it's irrelevant at that point. You're with a woman and have been for a long time. Declaring bisexuality because you're still attracted to guys isn't necessary as far as the term has any meaning. You have clarified, through your choices, what "bisexual" attempts to clarify for those who haven't made a choice (such as to be with a partner for a long period of time) for others to interpret. See what I mean? I don't mean to say that by picking one or the other you're suddenly not bisexual. I mean that the term no longer matters once you do.
Well... I mean look how and where they are depicted. It's always these horror stories on Talk Shows or scandalous...illicit affairs told by Showtime/HBO at 3:30 in the morning. Even the term "tranny" conjures images of something...somewhat less than desirable (both in terms of emulation and company). Based on how gay guys are portrayed in pop culture (I just threw up in my mouth) and how readily accepted that horrible stereotype is, it comes as no surprise to me that most Americans are somewhat frightened of the idea of transexuality.
-Withers-
^ What you're saying about the term "bisexual" there still makes no sense. Bisexual means that someone is sexually attracted to both genders. Just because someone is at the moment in a long term relationship with a person of one gender does not mean that the term no longer applies to them until the are single again. Even in a long term relationship they are still attracted to both genders. Being bisexual isn't just to "clarify" for those who haven't made a choice yet. For a bisexual person, they are attracted to BOTH genders, just because they found one person in particular that they want to pursue something more committed with does not mean that they are picking THAT GENDER over the other, it just means that they are picking one PERSON over all other people, regardless of gender. Take a straight male for example, he likes girls, he finds a girl that he falls for, starts a long term relationship with her... he still likes other girls, he's only picked one PARTICULAR girl that he likes more than the others, it has nothing to with her gender that he picks her over other girls, it's about her PERSONALLY that he likes. It's exactly the same for any other sexual orientation. Gay, straight, bi. A bisexual person is still bisexual when they are in a committed long term relationship, just like a straight person is still straight, and a gay person is still gay.
Gay male here, of the young variety.
Gay male here, of the young variety.
Suddenly I'm reminded of the auto repair shop a mile from my house. They have a sign out front advertising transmission repair, a sign that looks like this:
TRANNY
SERVICE
SPECIAL
TRANNY
SERVICE
SPECIAL
[George Takei] Oh my! [/George Takei]
Withers
Captain
Is that what bisexual means?!?! Here, as someone who has been openly gay since the age of 13, I've been laboring under the false impression that it meant... not that. Thank you for the clarification. I'm just going to go sit in a quiet corner and consider this wild epiphany that has shaken the very core foundations of my understanding of the universe. You'll forgive me if I'm not back quickly- a revelation of this...magnitude will take a while for my neural pathways to adjust to and I might not be quite the same when I do return.
-Withers-
Yeah, save the sarcasm. There's really no need for it. With the things you were saying in your posts, I felt it necessary to specifically mention it in my reply, it's not like I was saying you didn't know what it was. I like to reiterate information, big deal. Perhaps you could counter with a more detailed explanation of what you meant if you think I interpreted it wrong, or try to explain what you meant again while taking into account what I said so you can more easily explain your thoughts on it, rather than just be rude about what I chose to include in my post. 
straight female
I've just realised that I haven't answered the poll yet.
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