Most passable MST3K movie (of those I've seen): Mitchell.
Agreed. If you can get past the main character being a despicable slob, it's actually got some decent pacing and production values. Martin Balsam & John Saxon give entertaining, credible performances as mob bosses. And the chase scenes certainly make an effort.
Also,
Hamlet. Sure, it's an ultra-low-budget dub of an East German TV production. However, it's still Shakespeare, and there's only so much that you can do to screw that up. Plus, in the English dub, King Claudius is voiced by Ricardo Montalban.
I actually don't think the movie Time Chasers is that bad. There wasn't the same incompentency on display as other MST3k films featured, it seems like a bunch of friends with little film background genuinely tried to make a good movie but just didn't quite make it... There's a charm to it, which I actually feel adds to the riffing and makes it one of my very favorite episodes.
And yet
Time Chasers probably receives the most mean-spirited riffing of any of the movies they've ever done. 50% of it is just cracking jokes about the lead actor's chin.
I give
Time Chasers a "nice try" award. The story has some stupid parts but it's done with an earnestness and a lot of good production values (aside from the villain's office).
So
Hamlet, Mitchell, &
Time Chasers are the BEST movies they ever did on the show; the ones that are the most watchable even without the riffing.
As for the WORST:
You can't beat
The Creeping Terror for pure technical incompetance.
"Manos" The Hands of Fate seems specifically designed for maximum pain. First it lulls you into a desperate state of boredom. Then, just when you're begging for something, ANYTHING to happen, Torgo shows up, and you suddenly long for the dull, ugly landscapes of New Mexico to return. It's boredom & ugliness combined in a rare alchemy for maximum effect. Sitting through this film is a badge of honor.
The Starfighters wins the award for having absolutely zero narrative conflict whatsoever. Even a perfunctory conflict between the son & his overbearing congressman father fizzles out because his C.O. is always running interference there.
I have no idea whatsoever what anyone could possibly have been thinking at any stage of the production of
Hobgoblins. Unlike
"Manos," Hobgoblins doesn't even work on paper. You've got the rake fight, depraved attitudes towards women, the most unsexy strip tease of all time, and a guy named Road Rash.
Godzilla vs. Megalon. It was released in the Volume 10 boxset but then Toho reaquired the rights to it (and/or simply played the rights card) and the boxset was pulled off the shelves and replaced with Volume 10.2 which replaced GvM with "The Giant Gila Monster." Persons who had already bought that boxset were able to just order the "GGM" DVD through Rhino for a small price.
(they also did Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster)
If one wanted that DVD now I suspect that *ahem* there are ways to get it -like all of the MST3K episodes that are not available on DVD.
You can also still buy used copies of the original, out of print Volume 10 on Amazon. It'll probably cost you around $200 but you can still get it last I checked.
And that's not homage, it's scavenging. The filmmakers were probably hoping that audiences wouldn't recognize it as borrowed footage.
