How do you top it?

[Griever]

My girlfriend got my initials tattooed on her...

Yes I know it's a bad omen, but I don't believe in luck.
And no...she's not crazy, she's actually one of the most intelligent and grounded people I've met in my life.

But this is unexpected only because she is also one of the most militant feminists I've ever met.

Now she does this and I'm fumbling for a response. So much so that I'm de-lurking and asking for suggestions as to how I can top that? I need something unique and memorable...

We were in a competition. And it was a route until she had a fourth quarter comeback...Now there's 3 minutes to go and I have no time outs left...(US Football analogy for the non-fans...)

Hopefully someone here has some idea I can crib.

 

[AdAstra]

Ask her to marry you?

 

[Griever]

That's on the table, but we live 500 miles apart...

 

[StolenThunder]

Um... flowers?

 

[Griever]

Um... flowers?

You don't understand! So let me give a little background. We are not mushy people. But we were engaged in an almost sarcastic competition to see who could express who loves who more.

A few months ago she played a prank on me and pretended to get my initials tattooed on her arm. I saw through it immediately.

Tonight, after what seemed to be her impending defeat, I told her that she should actually get my initials tattooed on her to win.

And then...she got my initials tattooed on her back so she could win!

How ruthless is that!?

Flowers just won't cut it.

 

[StolenThunder]

I had figured. The suggestion wasn't serious.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Give her your heart. Chicks dig that.

 

[Griever]

I had figured. The suggestion wasn't serious.

Oh...duh.

I guess the thought of my impending defeat has blinded me to sarcasm...

One of my best friends is calling her an "O.G beast"...

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Can you afford/do you have time to fly or drive out to her place and surprise her?

 

[Griever]

Can you afford/do you have time to fly or drive out to her place and surprise her?

No and No

Besides as my friend says "it's not permanent"

Give her your heart. Chicks dig that.

The best ideas I've gotten so far are marriage, branding, and a tattoo of her face...

But it may come to that. My gift to her after my death...


I did briefly entertain the idea of legally changing my daughter's name to hers, but I don't think the ex would be too amused...

 

[Kommander]

And then...she got my initials tattooed on her back so she could win!

Break up with her. The only way she could top that is by having you killed.

 

[Australis]

It might just be me, but I've hung out with militant feminists, and there is NO WAY they would wear the brand of a man.

I'd go with breaking up with her. Makes the whole tattooing thing moot. It'd be a win.

But that's just me.

 

[Commander Rabbit]

Tonight, after what seemed to be her impending defeat, I told her that she should actually get my initials tattooed on her to win.

And then...she got my initials tattooed on her back so she could win!

Since it was YOUR suggestion that she do it in order to win, I think you should graciously let her win.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'd send her a male stripper with "Griever Loves Whoever" painted on his chest.

 

[sojourner]

^Just make sure you get to check the size of the "package" being delivered by said stripper. Don't want to impress her too much while you're 500 miles away or the next time you see her it might not be your initials she has tattooed.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Start planning moving closer.

 

[nevermore]

Um... flowers?

You don't understand! So let me give a little background. We are not mushy people. But we were engaged in an almost sarcastic competition to see who could express who loves who more.

A few months ago she played a prank on me and pretended to get my initials tattooed on her arm. I saw through it immediately.

Tonight, after what seemed to be her impending defeat, I told her that she should actually get my initials tattooed on her to win.

And then...she got my initials tattooed on her back so she could win!

How ruthless is that!?

Flowers just won't cut it.

Let her win. It's your only option.

I'd go with breaking up with her. Makes the whole tattooing thing moot. It'd be a win.

I actually know someone who got her boyfriend's name tattooed on her, tramp stamp style. He went with her, held her hand through the whole thing and then broke up with her over dinner. To which she of course replied "Why the hell did you let me get the tattoo then?", and he said "Well, I thought it would be a nice way for you to remember me."

 

[Lindley]

http://xkcd.com/44/

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Tattoo "welcome aboard" on your penis.

 

[trampledamage]

If you live 500 miles apart how do you know she's actually got a tattoo and this isn't another prank?


Or is that question just depressingly no-fun