Movie Caption Contest #117: The Parent Trap

[scottydog]

Dr. Big Eyes: "I hear this baby was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Winona: "You could say that. We did it in every position and I had 17 orgasms, squirting hard each time."

Baby Kirk: <boing>

 

[Captain Crow]

Dr. Big Eyes: I hear this baby was conceived in love. Is that true?

Winona: No. It was conceived in sex dungeon with the help of a six foot tall muscular german lesbian with a turkey baster named Love.

 

[Rat Boy]

David: "Mom said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Kirk: "Conceived, yes, but then your mother shacked up with someone she knew from her church. Someone clearly wasn't following the Ten Commandments closely."

 

[Shatmandu]

David: "Mom said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"
Kirk: "I loved not having to pay child support, that's for fucking sure."

 

[Captain Crow]

Little Snot Picard: Mummy is pissed on Cooking Sherry and has taken a poo in the Nativity in the front yard again.

 

[Candlelight]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Well, I guess one of the 500 men must've loved your mother. Merry Christmas, kid"

 

[Bones2]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Yes."

Bitsy: "...loser."

 

[SeerSGB]

Girl: Mommy said I was conceived in love, is that true?

Picard: Yep, Love's Truckstop of of I-10 just outside New Orleans by a trucker named Big Daddy Worf.

 

[scottydog]

Little Snot Picard: Mummy is pissed on Cooking Sherry and has taken a poo in the Nativity in the front yard again.

Picard: "Ah yes. Memories. You were conceived in such poo."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Girl: "Mommy said I was conceived in--"?

Picard (interrupts): "I've given you a hundred f***ing answers already, you little shit! Most of them were good jokes, too. What more do you want? Oh, and Merry Christmas."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "I believe what she actually said was that you were conceived in the Louvre, a very beautiful museum in Paris that your Mum and I would love to take you to see...if only we weren't banned from there for life."

 

[Captain Crow]

Little Snot Picard: I saw you snogging Father Christmas.

Little Snot Picard: Papa, your bollocks are hanging out of you short shorts.

 

[BriGuy]

David: So, you have the ability to go back in time basically any time you want. Did you ever think you you could go back and prevent Spock from dying? Stop the Reliant from finding Khan? You could even save Epsilon 9 - I had friends on that station!

Kirk: Nope, never occurred to me.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk: "You gettin' any?"

David: "Sulu cut me off.."

 

[Candlelight]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Yes. Your brother on the otherhand was the result of a great Superbowl victory celebration. While love was there, it was mostly wild thrusting against a billiard table surrounded by a dozen others."

 

[SantaEddie74]

DAVID:"Is it true Mom didn't want you to pull out because she was a freak back then?"

 

[SantaEddie74]

PICARD GIRL:"Thank you for the dolly.

It's not a college account or Barbie Dream Boat, but for a cheap, bald twit like you it's acceptable!"

 

[Santa Kang]

PICARD: Its not even Thanksgiving yet! Why does your mother insist on getting such an early start on Christmas?

 

[Captain Crow]

Bitsy: God bless us, everyone.

Picard: Humbug.

[Picard pimp slaps Bitsy]

Picard: Never do that Tiny Tim shit around me.

 

[Santa Kang]

BITSY: Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

PICARD: Looks like I'm going to have a word or two with the School Board about "teacher'.