KIRK: "You were lucky.
When I was born my dad let himself die rather than stick around and raise me."
Movie Caption Contest #117: The Parent Trap
- Thread starter Rat Boy
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KIRK: "You were lucky.
When I was born my dad let himself die rather than stick around and raise me."
RENE:"Wait...sis gets a fancy doll with porcelain and painted highlights...
And I get a BEST OF MAD LIBS book?!
You bastard!!! Mommy was right!! You ARE a bloody bastard!!!"
Kirk: "...and that concludes how to deal with Romulans. Next we'll discuss how to survive knife fights with Klingons-"
*Red alert sounds*
Kirk: "Hell, looks like we'll have to deal with that another time"
Picard: "Would you like some vanilla ice cream?"
Girl: "No, I prefer it black, like my men"
Winona: "Wow... he's beautiful... he has such a cute nose... and a full set of hair"
Doc Big'Eye: "Don't get too attached to that, he'll probably lose the nose and the hair. Heck, he was a virgin when he came out, and now I'M pregnant"
Kirk: "Alright... alright lets try this mind meld thing"
David: "That's my nipple"
Kirk: "Starfleet regulation 625a; don't ask, don't tell"
Kirk: Me? I was born in a firefight with some Romulan from the future. You? You were born because I forgot to wear a rubber.
KIRK:"You want me to leave you WHAT in my will?!
Get the hell out."
GIRL:"Mommy says she wants you to give her a stuffed stocking for Christmas but she knows you can't because of your 'problem.' What does she mean by that, Daddy?"
WINONA:"Whatever you do, don't tell George it's really Robau's..."
"This isn't a meatball sub!?!"
"Whenever you get done mourning the loss of Captain Spock, Mother wants to discuss the back child support you owe."
"Son... I want you to know... you're only in this movie because of that revelation in The Empire Strikes Back. Otherwise I couldn't care less about a son. You're slowing the story telling down. And that hair, dear gods the hair. No one wants to see that shit"
Wynonna: "Oh my, we need a diaper bin."
Dr. F'Reakeys: "Sorry, we don't have one."
Kirk: "Goo-gah-do-gee-goo."
Universal Translator: <"I don't believe in the no-bin situation.">
Kirk: "Goo-gah-do-gee-goo."
Universal Translator: <"Baby McCoy says space is poo-poo and pee-pee wrapped in diapers and wipes.">
Wynonna: "What else did he say?"
Kirk: "Goo-gah-do-gee-goo."
Universal Translator: <"The nude jumping jacks begin at age 3.">
David: "I want you to know - I'm proud to be your son."
Kirk: "I should damn well hope so. I mean, my mirror's proud to display my reflection. You don't know how lucky you are. Now sit down, shut up, and I'll tell you again about how I fought the Gorn on Cestus III..."
Kirk: So you grew up playing with science-kits, legos, and getting straights As in class
David: Yep
Kirk: And you're an anti-military, anti-starfleet, hippie pussy?
David: Yep
Kirk: God damn you're lame, are you sure your my kid?
David: Well I did invent a weapon of mass destruction on a unprecedented scale that killed your best friend and, if the subspace rumors are true, lover. So suck it dad.
Girl: Daddy, Rene got into your study again
Rene: Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it'd happen to me. Worf was standing at the tactical console and I turned and saw that the fly of his uniform...
Picard: RENE!!! PUT DOWN UNCLE PICARD'S DIARY RIGHT NOW!!!
Wynonna: "We'll call him Stewie."
Stewie: "Goo-gah-do-gee-goo."
Universal Translator: <"Revenge is mine!">
Kirk: "And what about your sister?"
David: "I don't have a sister, sir"
Kirk: "No sister?"
David: "Just a son, sir"
Kirk: "WHY THE HELL AREN'T I NOTIFIED ABOUT ANY OF THESE THINGS?!?"
Picard: "...and one day you'll grow up to be a big girl"
Girl: "Like Uncle Thomas?"
Picard: "Yes... like Uncle Thomas"
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