Movie Caption Contest #114: Space Invaders

[Rat Boy]

Pencils down, class, because it's time for another caption contest. First, lets send the following people to the corner because they're...

For explaining away a facet of the new movie that people just love to nitpick, our winner is...

Kirk: "I'm bound to get the Enterprise - they've given me her assignment patch."

For the real reason why McCoy got Kirk glasses for his birthday, our winner is...

Kirk: "My God! Why is large-Uhura attacking tiny-Sulu!?!"
Saavik: "Gods... do I have to give the small-far away speech to him again?"
Sulu: "Tiny?"
Uhura: "LARGE?!?"

And our joint Photoshop winners, boldly going where everyone pretty much expected to go...

Carla: Take your order, Norm?
Norm: Second tap to the right and straight on till morning.

Congratulations to the winners and here's the new leader board...

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 53
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 52
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 44
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 31
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 24
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 17
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
scottydog 14
LeadHead 13
Skywalker 13
Alrik 12
Nebusj 12
DS9Sega 11
zephramc 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
BriGuy 9
Tharpdevenport 9
Kirby 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
captain crow 6
TheGallifreyanSith 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
Daneel 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Mistral 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Deranged Nasat 4
Starpaul20 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
USS Bones 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1

This week, we dip back into the TNG movies (I promise I'll do a better job mixing it up in the future) and put the spotlight o' shame on the villains. First up, in what's guaranteed to be loaded with VOY jokes, we see the Borg accosting a maitre de who suspiciously looks like an alien freeloader on another Federation starship. And secondly, we have Praetor Shinzon expressing his disappointment over his Romulan co-conspirators rendition of Cabaret. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Borg actor on left: "Tim Russ sent us. You still owe him $50 for the UCLA game."

Viceroy: "War. War never changes."

Shinzon: "If you don't stop saying that, I'm going to jam that stick right up your slimy gray ass."

 

[Bones2]

Philips: "I think you've had enough."
Borg: "Tell me that again, I dare you."

Viceroy: "Pssssst - wanna buy some crack?"

 

[scottydog]

Shinzon: "What? No sharks with laser beams attached to their heads? Throw me a frickin' bone here."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Shinzon: "Not tonight. I have a headache."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Never make the mistake of forgetting to include "FORMAL ATTIRE" on an party invitation to the Borg.

 

[Rat Boy]

Shinzon: "There's only two of us in this room and I sure as hell didn't do it, so stop playing innocent."

Viceroy: *whistles*

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Borg on Left: "Resistance is futile. We will add your...."
Borg on Right interrupts: "Wait a minute. Isn't this that whiny ass Neelix guy in a human costume?"
Borg on Left: "Never mind!"

 

[Maurice]

REMAN: Does the carpet match the drapes?
SHINZON: I'm bald, you idiot.
REMAN: Behind you, numbnuts.

 

[Bones2]

Viceroy: "In Star Trek 3 I was. Career gone well has not."
Shinzon: "Stop...telling me that..."

 

[SilentP]

Human Neelix: But I don't want things to change...
*Borg on left places hand on HN's chest*
Left Borg: I'm sorry, but I can't carry on like this. It's easier for both of us if you just accept it. Don't you want me to be happy?
Right Borg: Sorry man, I guess the best guy won here.

 

[John Picard]

"You don't have the money? Well then, that's too bad for you."

"Wha-wait! No, I mean, yes, I have it. It's just that I have to..to.. Could you just give me a second..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Human Neelix: "When I said you guys choked after the Battle of Wolf 359, this isn't what I meant!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Perlman: "What's with this make-up? All they did was put my Hellboy makeup in a microwave for thirty seconds, let it melt and form up again and sprayed it grey.
Hardy: "You think you've got it bad. I look like I've got a testicle for a head!"

Philips: "Ok guys, scene's over. You can stop now. Guys, GUYS!"
Borg Extra 1: "I ain't acting no more."
Borg Extra 2: "Yeah, this is for fucking Leola Root!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Borg on left: "Okay, Mister, we've got Her Majesty coming in at Nine; she'll be with that Locutus guy. We've been sent ahead to ensure she gets a good table, not too near the door or the toilets, and see if you can break out that 2306 Saurian Brandy"

Owner: "Sirs, that...that will be quite expensive...

Borg on Left: "Whoa, whoa, we don't want to here that, do we, Two-of-Two? Her Majesty would like to remind you that you still owe her a substantial quantity of credits...or do you want your customers to learn your true identity, Mr. Chef? The surgery won't be enough if we give them the name"

Neelix: "Er, table for two, sir, free of charge! And I'll have two bottles of 2306 bought out!"

Viceroy: "I...I don't understand. This is the Senate chamber? Where any moment now dozens of Romulan nobles will walk in to find their new praetor perched majestically upon his noble throne, forboding and mysterious?

Lone Janitor (offscreen): "Oh no, sir, this is the on-site theatre. The Senate Chamber's over in B Hall. The senators are already seated. Ha, ha, let's hope you weren't expecting an impressive entrance, huh?"

Shinzon: *Facepalm*

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Viceroy: "And where are the unicorns?"

Shinzon: "Oh god..."

Romulan (off screen): "I'm sorry, sir?"

Viceroy: "The unicorns. I was told there would be found on Romulus rainbows, lollipops, puppies and unicorns".

Romulans all look at Shinzon

Shinzon: "Look, they live in a mine! Do you really think I'd get them here by saying, "hey, let's go to Romulus! They have dark halls we can stalk around in and red curtains!"

 

[John Picard]

Proof that Shinzon was Picard's clone: The Facepalm.

 

[Mistral]

"2+2 equals...5! No, damn, wait, let me think! 7! No, that's not right! Frickin' A! I'm never going to get this!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

[/QUOTE]

HARDY: To me, my X-Men!

PERLMAN: Wrong Stewart character

 

[Nerys Myk]

Maître d': But, The Caption Contest Waiting Room has standards! We cant just let anyone in! You guys are just a joke, not meme!