TOS Caption Contest #143: Mostly Muddy, Chance of Prostitutes
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Stella: Smell it, Harcourt Fenton Mudd. You made me put it in your butt. Smell it!
Spock: Five?
Mudd: Three?
Spock: The entire fist or nothing at all.
Mudd: A'right, but it'll cost you extra.
Spock: Agreed.
Spock: You need to hose down your bitches, because it smells like a fish fry in here.
Spock: If they are able to "milk the prostrate," then I shall consider purchasing their services.
Spock: After a night with one of these ladies, the captain may find that having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
Shrew: Unclean! Uncleeeeean!
Mudd: Geez, you leave one frito in your fat roll...
Stella: He did it! I saw it! He's the one who poisoned Ambassador Kosh! I saw it!
Mudd: Is that Ricardo Montalban crouching at the back there?
Spock: Ignore him, Mr. Mudd, ignore him.
Chekov: It's the SLV, see here's the bit where you can see where they didn't do the matte painting of the hull.
Uhura: And he's got the wrong spacesuit on!
Last edited:
Uhura: Ask another one.
Chekov: Okay. Okay. Let's see... Oh, I know! Vill I ever get a command of my own?
DeSalle (reading): "Outlook not so good."
Uhura (reading): "Out of order"?
Chekov: Fuck, ewen in da future, nothing vorks!
Chekov: I can do it! I can do it!
DeSalle: Be careful or you might--
Chekov: Oh, no. I'm losing her! I'm losing her!
Uhura: Spock's sure gonna be pissed at you.
Last edited:
In the "Hall of American Presidents" wax museum...
Mudd: "And here, gentlemen, the forty-sixth president, Hillary Rodham Clinton."
Kirk and McCoy: *stunned silence*
Mudd: "Well, you have to keep in mind, gentlemen, that the museum's chief sculptor at the time was a very staunch Republican."
Uhura: Shatmandu change out the contest yet?
Chekov: No, sensors say he's trying to tink up yet another lame chuck-e-cheese excuse to extend the contest a few days longer
Stella: Shatmandu, you shall spend an eternity at Chuck-E-Cheese eating sawdust pizza and diving into plastic balls!
McCoy: What a bitch. Reminds me of my ex-wife, you know the one that got--
Kirk: The whole planet in the settlement so all's you got is your bones. You tell that one every time you're smashed.
Mudd: And in this gallery, gentlemen, is where I keep all my trophy wives.
Shrew: I'm cold! I should have listened to mother! Why don't you ever use a map! Last time I saw a hairline like that it had a cone stuck to it!
Kirk: "This the booby prize, eh Harry?"
Mudd: And in this gallery, gentlemen, is where I keep all my trophy wives.
Shrew: I'm cold! I should have listened to mother! Why don't you ever use a map! Last time I saw a hairline like that it had a cone stuck to it!
Uhura: Oh my God, DeSalle has the smallest pecker. Even for a white guy.
Chekov: I'm going to send this picture to everyone's screen. He'll be sooo pissed, but he'll never know who did it.
The last time Roddenberry let Justman cast any female role.
SPOCK: "His name is Bilbo...Bilbo Baggins. Greatest little Hobbit of them allllll."
Unknown to Mudd, Spock's telepathic abilities allowed him to feel any contact with the turbolift handles.
Last edited: