I think I'm in love with my best friend!

[Scout101]

Fine...due to popular demand I'll banish myself from this thread and I think I'll go kill myself now. First I get laid off from my job and now...and now....THIS! Laid off from the thread....!! I'm such a failure.

Good God I've broken my banish myself from the thread rule haven't I? And it's only been mere seconds!

I'll spank myself for this...good and hard. Shan't happen again.

Looks like we've got the premise/set-up episode for a spin-off, let's see where it goes. Any chance you've got a cousin? Not sure the friend angle has enough scandal to support a full 22-episode run...

 

[sidious618]

What, is there a writer's strike? Let's go with the update. Two weeks must have passed in MB time.

 

[Squiggy]

In the time since his last update a trillion cosmoses have flared into existence and sank into eternal night.

 

[Australis]

And yet... in all of them... he's sitting in his room... forever...

(and suddenly it's turning into the Twilight Zone)

 

[Trekker4747]

In the time since his last update a trillion cosmoses have flared into existence and sank into eternal night.

A trillion Cosmoses?

Did Kramer reproduce a bunch of prophets?

 

[MadBaggins]

You guys are classic!!! :rotflmao:

Just because I accidently (or was it on PURPOSE) typed "cakeass" instead of "cakessss" you guys all get obsesed with her and her ass. Come on, guys. ALL girls on this board must have asses. How else could they be sitting down, lol. No, but it's funny how guys will instantly start trying to impress a girl on a message board. As if any of you will ever meet her!! But keep it up, it's fun, lol!

Anyway, I've been talking to LDG all day. She's really understanding. I've been revealing MORE AND MORE of my personal information to her. She's had some mental health issues too (she's bi-polar) so we've been helping each other with that. Unfortunately I've had to tell her more wrestling lies, to keep that ticking along. I was trying to downplay it as much as I could, so that I could eventually reveal that I'm not REALLY a professional sports entertainer and she would say "oh, that's okay, it wasn't a big deal" but when she asked when my next match was I blurted out (typed out) "SUNDAY AND THEY'RE TAPING IT FOR TV." Why would I say that? I think I should take the meds again, lol.

(But really, I'm not takng them.)

Mom got mental health black guy up to see me today but I knew how to answer his questions and get him to leave!

I finally talked to Alicia. She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend. Apparently the police were even called out to the place they're staying the other night and Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face. So that's good for me.

 

[Ward Fowler]

^Lame.

 

[TheGodBen]

The long awaited return of the Stone Cold Stunner and it happens offscreen?!

This show has really lost its way.

 

[Scout101]

I'm bored. This season is just going nowhere. No action, no drama, no angst. Just poorly-formatted posts, and the OP locked in his room (when he's not walking the streets being mocked by children). Why ARE the children mocking you, btw? usually takes something to trigger that kind of response...

 

[CaptainStoner]

Just because I accidently (or was it on PURPOSE) typed "cakeass" instead of "cakessss" you guys all get obsesed with her and her ass

Not obsessed, flirting. Obsessed is more like you are about Thames.

Come on, guys. ALL girls on this board must have asses.

Yeah, but they don't all register the same, sugar. Don't be jealous.

Unfortunately I've had to tell her more wrestling lies, to keep that ticking along.

No you didn't, you just don't have a shred of personal integrity.

Why would I say that?

Because you're a lying sack of shit.

think I should take the meds again, lol.

Yeah. lol.

She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend. Apparently the police were even called out to the place they're staying the other night and Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face. So that's good for me

You really suck, you know that?

 

[Trekker4747]

Just because I accidently (or was it on PURPOSE) typed "cakeass" instead of "cakessss"

I'm not really sure how "cakessss" makes anymore sense.

you guys all get obsesed with her and her ass.

It's sure to be a nice ass.

Come on, guys. ALL girls on this board must have asses.

Obviously, but are they as nice as Cakes'?

How else could they be sitting down, lol.

There's people out there with severe birh-defects who want to talk with you.

No, but it's funny how guys will instantly start trying to impress a girl on a message board. As if any of you will ever meet her!! But keep it up, it's fun, lol!

Says the guy who just a few months ago was doing his cousin and bunch of guys in someone else's living room. Not all of us have relatives licking our ball sacs, okay?

Anyway, I've been talking to LDG all day.

I love the smell of irony in the late evening.

She's really understanding.

She'd have to be, wouldn't she?

I've been revealing MORE AND MORE of my personal information to her.

Gasp! Did you tell her your MIDDLE NAME?!

She's had some mental health issues too...

This is a fetish with you, isn't it?

(she's bi-polar) so we've been helping each other with that.

She's been helping herself help you helping her with her bipolar?

Unfortunately I've had to tell her more wrestling lies, to keep that ticking along.

A good relationship is like a building, it needs a good foundation in order to survive. Your relationship is shaping up to be the Tower of Pisa.

I was trying to downplay it as much as I could, so that I could eventually reveal that I'm not REALLY a professional sports entertainer and she would say "oh, that's okay, it wasn't a big deal"

Dreamer.

but when she asked when my next match was I blurted out (typed out) "SUNDAY AND THEY'RE TAPING IT FOR TV."

No, no, no. You got it all wrong. You have to sell it more.

Here, try this:

"SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!! SEE THE INTROVERTED, BORDER-LINE PSYCHOTIC MAD BAGGINS TAKE ON THE EXTROVERTED, OVET-THE-LINE PSYCHOTIC CHAUNICE HIGGINS IN THE ALL-OUT, DUKE-OUT MATCH OF THE HOUR! SUNDAY, SUNDAY! SUNDAY! Pay per view only for $1.99, match begins at 2:30am and ends shortly after. No refunds."

Why would I say that? I think I should take the meds again, lol.

Choose wisely, I mean they can be habit forming after two doses!

(But really, I'm not takng them.)

As evidenced by your previous sentence.

Mom got mental health black guy up to see me today but I knew how to answer his questions and get him to leave!

You are the master manipulator.

Wait... I think I screwed that joke up...

I finally talked to Alicia.

Phew! I can breathe again! Don't keep me waiting like that!

She said the movie's delayed

The economy is still kinda sluggish, there's not a bunch of free blocks of $500 to spend around on first-time screen writers cum directors hiring no-name, nobody, non-SAG talent.

Apparently the police were even called out to the place they're staying the other night...

Is Alicia going to be on COPS this Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY?!

and Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face.

Track marks. Those are track marks. She's obviously bad at taking heroin.

So that's good for me.

Yeah, it's so great when relatives/loves of your life/producers of your movie debut get smacked around.

 

[DonIago]

No mention of Thames at all, then?

(changes the channel) Ah, cakeass.

 

[Trekker4747]

No mention of Thames at all, then?

(changes the channel) Ah, cakeass.

No, Cakessss.

 

[DonIago]

I was watching Ski...I mean Cinemax.

 

[Major Chord]

Just because I accidently (or was it on PURPOSE) typed "cakeass" instead of "cakessss" you guys all get obsesed with her and her ass.

I'm glad to see that you're picking up the bad habits of teenage girls, and adding extra letterrrrssss to words that don't need themmmm. Nice to see some character development, however minor.

Come on, guys. ALL girls on this board must have asses. How else could they be sitting down, lol.

Now now Baggins, you know what happens when you assume. You make an ass of you and me.

No, but it's funny how guys will instantly start trying to impress a girl on a message board. As if any of you will ever meet her!! But keep it up, it's fun, lol!

I fail to see how complimenting a girl on her hind quarters will impress her. If we wanted to impress her, we would have told her about how nice our asses are. Although, I fear that if you found out what nice butts the males on this board have you'd post more often.

Anyway, I've been talking to LDG all day.

So, she doesn't have a life either? Continue to set the bar high my friend.

She's really understanding. I've been revealing MORE AND MORE of my personal information to her.

Has she asked you for your SSN and credit card number yet?

Unfortunately I've had to tell her more wrestling lies, to keep that ticking along.

No, you didn't. You could have buried it under the rug, and not brought it up again.

I was trying to downplay it as much as I could, so that I could eventually reveal that I'm not REALLY a professional sports entertainer and she would say "oh, that's okay, it wasn't a big deal" but when she asked when my next match was I blurted out (typed out) "SUNDAY AND THEY'RE TAPING IT FOR TV."

I suggest that whenever you have the urge to say such lies again, you punch yourself in the neck. You seem to be good at that.

Mom got mental health black guy up to see me today but I knew how to answer his questions and get him to leave!

You mean, in a sane, and comprehensible way?

I finally talked to Alicia. She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend.

I think this could help solve the mystery of...

Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face.

These


There's been a lot of midseason fluff recently. Considering that the commercials (be sure to look for Cakeass at a store near you!) were far more entertaining than the program, I think the writers need to step up their game a bit.

 

[QCzar]

She's had some mental health issues too (she's bi-polar) so we've been helping each other with that.

Because nothing says "I love you" like setting up your lady for a manic episode. There's no way that a deception as cleverly crafted as yours will ever be uncovered by your mentally unstable friend. Yeah, no way that's going to backfire.

But you keep right on "helping" each other with that.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Just because I accidently (or was it on PURPOSE)

Don't screw with us. There was no possible way you were clever enough to do a set up like that purposely.

...typed "cakeass" instead of "cakessss" you guys all get obsesed with her and her ass.

Even if you meant "cakessss", why in the world are you try to put 4 's''s in her name? There's only one. And there wasn't much "obsessing" going on, just some joking around (which she contributed to as well)

Come on, guys. ALL girls on this board must have asses.

Of course they all do. How else would you decide if you wanted to bang them or not? That certainly seems to be your gold standard.
[/quote]How else could they be sitting down, lol.[/quote]
Oooh, you are a thinker, aren't you?

No, but it's funny how guys will instantly start trying to impress a girl on a message board. As if any of you will ever meet her!! But keep it up, it's fun, lol!

Says the guy who instantly started trying to impress some poor girl over IM.

Anyway, I've been talking to LDG all day. She's really understanding.

I will ask today what I asked yesterday... is she understanding in regards to your real life or is she understanding towards your pro wrestler persona who hasn't been through the last 4 seasons of fuck-ups and has everyone out to get him?

I've been revealing MORE AND MORE of my personal information to her.

And yet, I can imagine that you're leaving the important stuff out. Like cousin screwing. Or cousin attempted murdering. Or being crazy. Or being in love with the Thamesmachine.

She's had some mental health issues too (she's bi-polar) so we've been helping each other with that.

My god, the poor lass already has enough issues. Why are you going to inflict yourself on her life? She doesn't deserve to have a thread written about her here by you!

Unfortunately I've had to tell her more wrestling lies, to keep that ticking along.

You didn't have to do anything. You're just afraid that you let one truth slip out and you will accidentally tell her everything.

I was trying to downplay it as much as I could, so that I could eventually reveal that I'm not REALLY a professional sports entertainer and she would say "oh, that's okay, it wasn't a big deal"

...Right. I know I'm pretty sympathetic when I find that my relationships are based on lies as well.

but when she asked when my next match was I blurted out (typed out) "SUNDAY AND THEY'RE TAPING IT FOR TV."

This proves what we knew all along: You really don't think before posting.

Why would I say that? I think I should take the meds again, lol.

(But really, I'm not takng them.)

We would have never guessed. Unfortunately, you're acting about as abnormal as you normally act.

Mom got mental health black guy up to see me today but I knew how to answer his questions and get him to leave!

Is there any reason why we care if he's black? You know who else point out that other people are black? Nazis.

I finally talked to Alicia.

And by "talked", you mean....

She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend.

Damn. You actually meant talk.

Apparently the police were even called out to the place they're staying the other night and Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face. So that's good for me.

Midseason cliffhanger: We discover that MB has multiple personalities, and he stone cold stunned Alicia into another coffee table, but she afraid to turn him in! Du Du Duuuun!!!

 

[Australis]

Alicia. She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend.

...foreshadowing...

Or MB won't know any better when not to do it.

And don't lie. Just don't. It can only get worse.

And Cakes and her ass? Well, she certainly seems willing to share, but we might have to move it to a post-watershed timeslot (TNZ).

 

[sidious618]

I finally talked to Alicia. She said the movie's delayed anyway as she's been fighting pretty massivley with her girlfriend. Apparently the police were even called out to the place they're staying the other night and Alicia had mysterious bruises on her face. So that's good for me.

Yeah, I know I'm always excited when one of my cousins gets hurt.

 

[TheGodBen]

She's not just his cousin though, she's the master manipulator who was pulling the strings to make MB into the failure of a human being he now is. If it hadn't been for her and her depraved sexual shenanigans then MB would have flunked out of college a year later and he could have had a full-time job at the bakery.