TOS Caption Contest #135: Personal Interaction

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

Still no word from our boy Outpost4.

I'm thinking he's either in Guantanamo or he got a job as a dance instructor on a cruise ship. Not much difference, quality-of-life-wise.

While there were many great entries, the winners for this past week are:

Kirk: "C'mon, snap out of it. You only saw me naked for a split second."

Spock: "I think it moved."

"Foreplay?"

Kirk; "OVER THE LINE!"
Chapel; "But"
Kirk; "OVER THE LINE! MARK IT ZERO!"
McCoy; "Nurse Chapel, just do what he says. The ship really needs a bowling alley..."

Great stuff!

This week's bits are:

And this special bonus shot was nicely suggested by our very own EnsignHarper:

As always, I'd like to encourage any lurkers or infrequent posters here to chime in. Your entries can't be any dumber than mine.

Joe, insert dick/fart joke here



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (2x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (22x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x) Big Winner!
Dohlman
DrBob (10x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (25x)

Big Winner!
goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (12x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan
John_Picard (4x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (6x)
Mistral (2x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (30x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (39x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (20x)

Big Winner!
Sector 7
Shatmandu (25x)

shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Super Grover
Tan Ru
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (18x)

The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (11x) Big Winner!
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Triskelion (13x)

Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Zachery Smith

Mudd Club

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Yes, my decor is very gay. Why do you ask?"

Kirk: "... so I held McCoy back, and the truck hit her! <slaps hands together> Ker-SPLAT!"
<Kids all laugh.>

Finnegan: "Punch me, I'm Irish!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: I'm sorry, Nurse Chapel, but you're skin color is too light for my tastes.

Kirk: Have I ever told you about the time I drove my stepfather's corvette off the side of a quarry?

Finnegan: Is that a phaser on your belt, Jimmy Boy, or are yah happy to see me?

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Just don't ignore the prostate again, okay?"

Kirk: "Gorns are assholes. Don't let anyone tell you any different."

Finnegan: "I just got done laying some plant-based dick in your Ruth, Jimmy-Boy!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

A win, excellent! I combined memories of a Coen Bros film and that elusive Enterprise alley to good effect there...

Kirk; "Get down, it's a dick/fart joke!"

 

[scottydog]

Thanks for the win.

Spock: "Criticize my room decor again and it's curtains for you."

On that day, Alice wasn't the only one to go down the hole.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: Do you like the decor? I call it "Magic Samurai Funeral Parlor".
Chapel: Get a lot of action on your twin bed, do you?

And Mr Scott has a drinking problem. Don't even get me started on Uhura. Let's just say her birth certificate was spelled "Uhuro".

Jimmy-boy, you do know the fantasy-machine can replicate women, right?

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: My request for a Michigan Mop Job is quite logical, Nurse, considering the fine hairs on your upper lip.

Kirk: Have any of you seen a grown man naked?

 

[EnsignHarper]

"Jimmy lad...a little lower...don't you remember??"

"Sorry Finnegan....I'm so used to Sulu.."

 

[Rulius]

No, thats not the Captain's feet you see under that curtain...

So which one of you smarmy gits killed your parents?

Just wait until I use my flying butt-fu on you Finnegan!

 

[EnsignHarper]

"Sorry...I prefer a different kind of whipped cream....just ask Mr Sulu"

 

[EnsignHarper]

Or how about this...

"Be careful about asking for whipped cream on this ship, kids"

 

[Rulius]

You're not a virgin? *Looks over at his altar*
Hm... Go tell Chekov to come here... *mutters* Well maybe any virgin will do...

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Spock: "*sigh*. And yet again, Ms. Chapel, you persist in the mistaken hypothesis that I in fact give a rat's ass about your plomeek soup, or any of the loving preparation that went into it. I propose an alternative hypothesis: Get. The. *!%$. Out"

Chapel: "What's gotten into you, Mr. Spock? You're so hurtful lately. Next you'll be taking up drugs, letting your hair grow out, wearing shades. I don't know you any more. You'll even forget to talk like Spock..."

Spock (mutters): "Bitch don't know how to keep the mouth shut".

Girl beside Kirk: "I put it to you, James, that your commission and apparent command post in the so called "Starfleet" is not a legitimate military position at all, and furthermore this "Vulcan" of which you speak is merely an actor effecting a non-emotional demeanor. In short, we are dealing strictly in fiction".

Kirk: "Ah, well, ....you see, Rosie..."

Boy on far left: And, frankly, the less said about this "Spock's Brain" nonsense, the better. Don't you think?"

Kirk: "That really happened!"

Adult Voice: "Drop it, James..."

"No! Please, No! Let me out! Oh God, Jim, I can't take it! I'm in a Caption Contest!!"

"Now calm down, I've done this plenty of times..."

"Here comes Shatmandu! Before it's too late, and...Oh God! Too late! Sexual innuendo! The pain!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock: One penis or two?

 

[Drob]

Jim: "By the way... that ice cream is laced with a deadly neuro-toxin. So you have about 15 minutes to tell me exactly what happened to your parents. <waves hand> Or I forget to call Dr McCoy, mmmkay?"

Finnegan: "FECK OFF!"

Spock: "Thats not my leg I'm leaning on"

 

[Rat Boy]

Nurse Chapel didn't mind the Roman legionaire with missing pieces of his face or the creepy glowing animal statue; it was the fact that she now realized that all that talk of Spock's batch was just that. Talk.

When the kids started getting dizzy, Kirk suddenly realized that he had the drink orders mixed up.

Finnegan and Kirk settle their differences the traditional Irish way: drinking until all those inhibitions just slip away.

 

[26138]

Finnegan: It was horrible!
Kirk: I know your checkup with Dr. McCoy was bad, but we all know the nude jumping jacks are required by regulations.

 

[Maurice]

Chapel: So, does your carpet match the drapes?

KIRK: Why yes, little girls ARE made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but did you know ice cream is made from little girls?
KIDS: (projectile vomiting)

BRUCE MARS: No, no, Bill! Stay away from David Loughery. For the love of God...!

 

[MANT!]

Ok kid's lets play a game..

Find the cookie I've hidden in a secret place on my body!!!

(This'll be better than I imagined!!)