Chapel: [with infinite malice] Doctor, you're on the blonde side of the room.
Now that's what I mean: new faces, fresh ideas.
Joe, with old face, retread jokes
TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Now that's what I mean: new faces, fresh ideas.
Joe, with old face, retread jokes
Chapel: [with infinite malice] Doctor, you're on the blonde side of the room.
Now that's what I mean: new faces, fresh ideas.
Joe, with old face, retread jokes
Yeah cause we're just a bunch of perv's! We need some good clean fresh captions.....but alas, not from me....
CHAPEL:"She's knocked up, Leonard.
And so am I. And for all I know, YOU might be pregnant as well!"
McCOY:"Damn Jim and his plastic baggie of mickeys..."
KIRK:"When you can bench press this, you can leave."
KIRK:"When you can bench press this, you can leave."
Scotty: "Suh, I dinnae think this what they mean by 'bench press.'"
Kirk: "Who's the captain here?"
Kirk: "Playing pocket billiards while being debriefed is a court marshable offence mister!"
-or-
Kirk: "Get that web-cam outta your pants and tell T'Pring you'll email her later."
-or-
Kirk: "Straighten up you slouching, navel-gazing pussy!"
Spock: "I.. I.. was not slouching!"
Kirk: "Then just what the hell are you doing?" [looks over]
Spock: "Adjusting my new belly button ring captain."
Kirk: <sarcastically> "Oh, won-der-ful!" [makes jerk-off motion to camera]
Many thanks, Shatmandu! Thanks for the warm welcome!
Post-mission debriefing after Scotty's disastrous away mission to Planet Dostoyevsky VI:
Transcript
Kirk: Would you then, please, Engineer, describe in your own words exactly what took place on the surface of the planet?
Scott, anxiously: I cannae tell ye, captain. I cannae be sure that I'm really me, anymore!
Serfs, in outrage: Chyort vozmi! You killed your own father!
Scott, indignant: Whom amongst us hanna' wanted to knock off our own father?
Post-mission debriefing after Scotty's disastrous away mission to Planet Dostoyevsky VI:
Transcript
Kirk: Would you then, please, Engineer, describe in your own words exactly what took place on the surface of the planet?
Scott, anxiously: I cannae tell ye, captain. I cannae be sure that I'm really me, anymore!
Serfs, in outrage: Chyort vozmi! You killed your own father!
Scott, indignant: Whom amongst us hanna' wanted to knock off our own father?
McCoy: Nurse! I've explicitly stated more than once that the biobeds are to be kept at an angle of no less than 23 degrees at all times!
*pushes biobed down*
Chapel: Doctor, the patient simply asked to have the bed adjusted.
*pushes biobed back up*
-beat-
*McCoy pushes biobed down again, with vitriol*
McCoy, menacingly: Go ahead. Try it.
Kirk: "Mr Scott, will you tell us in your own words, what happened on the planet's surface."
Scott: "Ah, well lad, ye ken jes fine, that you, me, and yon Doctor McCoy, beamed doon for a wee bit ae shore leave. I wair in the mood for a wee dram of Scotch, so we entered yon Argelian's tavern. I spied this cute wee lassie, long, strong thighs, and I asked her if she wanted to polish me caber. Then Borgus Frat if she didnae..."
Kirk: "One minute Mr Scott. Will you tell us in English, what happened on the planet's surface.
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Kirk: "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Scott: I canna hav' any puddin' Capt'n because you ate the whole lot; all the meat an tha pudding...you fat, bloated, overbearing windbag.
Bones: Nurse...what is that smell? It's very concentrated and it's remotely familiar...yet I can't quite place it.
Chappy: I don't know Doctor, I don't smell anything out of the ordinary.
Kirk from next room: That's pussy Bones, that's why you're not aquainted with it.
