VFWCC #15 - There's Captions in this Nebula!

[Turd Ferguson]

Tuvok: Captain, may I remind you of Starfleet General Order 47...

Janeway: I'm well aware of Starfleet Regulations, Tuvok.

Chakotay: Well, as your first officer, I must object to your course of action. Your disregard for procedure jeopardizes this ship.

Janeway: I think you're overreacting.

Doctor: Oh, for heaven's sake, Captain, it's a simple colon cleansing.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Janeway: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

EMH: "Tarantino now? Is there no beginning to your talent?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Janeway: "This is the best the hair stylist could come up with?"
EMH: (muttering) "At least you have hair,keep it up and I'll give you a shot, and by morning you'll be balder than the day you were born."
Chakotay & Tuvok: (thinking) Bitch, bitch , bitch all she does is bitch.

 

[Hedbergian]

Janeway: The FIRST question I have to ask ... can we play with the red flashing frisbee?

Tuvok: Captain, it's not a frisbee. It's a flying saucer, and its miniature crew is trying to make first contact with us.

Janeway: So the answer's "maybe"?

 

[Lucy of Nine]

That last one made me snort with laughter! Priceless!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Janeway: "we shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never surrender, and even if... I dunno, the effect isn't there without a cigar. I need a cigar."

EMH: "I have a cigar for you right here, you annoying little..."

 

[Mistral]

Chakotay: "Doctor, did the personality transplant take?"

EMH: "Well, yes and no. The procedure worked, but...have you ever heard of Ed Sullivan? I'm not sure if that actually qualifies as a personality."

 

[Gary7]

Chakotay: "Doctor, don't take it personally."

EMH: "And why not? So my coffee needs a little work. 'A little less on the charcoal' she asks. What do you expect--I don't have taste buds!"

Tuvok: "Captain, perhaps a caffeine injection will suffice."

 

[Gary7]

Janeway: "One... t-t-two... th-th-three..."

Tuvok: "The sedative appears to be working."

EMH: "Thank God. I thought she was going to kill me when she tasted my rendition of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee."

Chakotay: "Doctor, whatever gave you the idea that coffee is gray?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Janeway: "No, I don't know why the audio was messed up in 'Deadlock,' so stop asking me about it!"

 

[Gary7]

Janeway: "What are you waiting for? Take my hand and come with me, Doctor. I'm way overdue for a shagging and I need a little of your medicine." (snicker)

 

[Rat Boy]

Janeway: "Well, that takes care of the Borg baby. If you need me, I'll be sleeping with my hologram boyfriend."

 

[Praetor]

Janeway: Chakotay... there's an invisible alien... directly in front of me! (to alien) We are on... a mission of peace...
Chakotay: (to EMH) When are you going to explain to her that suddenly switching to decaf can cause the DTs, and her invisible alien is really imaginary?
Tuvok: I suggest we wait. I wish to see if the alien responds to her Kirk impression.

 

[Lucy of Nine]

Killer Koinek is going to have a tough time judging all these, every single one makes me laugh my head off! This is the funniest contest yet!