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TOS Caption Contest #109 - Parties

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KIRK:"We had a big family-size bag of Doritos to put on the table...but...well...you know.

Mister Scott."
 
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Kirk: "In a moment, we'll bring in the cook who made the Mexican food you just ate."
Khan: "His name?"
Kirk: "Chekov."
 
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KHAN:"Where is your lavatory facility?

After such a marvelous meal, I've got a load on deck that could choke a herd of elephants."
 
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Kahn: "What is that awful music being piped into my quarters, Kirk?"

Kirk: "Davey Jones of the Monkees, why?"
 
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"...hoping each leap would be the leap home..."
Archer: "Damn, Enterprise again!"

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Shatner: "Damn, this isn't Boston!"

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"... all alone... I'm so all alone..."
 
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Kahn: "Where is our pizza, Kirk? Don't you still have a 30 minute guarantee? The person responsible will get an earful from me!"
Kirk: "That would be Chekov."
Khan: "Well at least you are paying the bill, Kirk."
Kirk: "Ummm..."
Khan: "Don't tell me you don't have money in the future."
 
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KHAN: They're... fake, you say?
[Kirk nods]
KHAN: And I suppose you have... proof?
[Spock nods]
KHAN: You're bluffing.
[Spock cocks an eyebrow]
KHAN: Oh. Right. Where were we?
 
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Shatner (thinking, while pleasuring Nichelle Nichols): "So this is how Gene got the idea for the set...."
 
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Gene: Bill! You have no right to fire all the extras for laughing at your Toupee falling off! You can only get away with that when this is a motion picture sequel and YOU'RE the director!!!
 
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Khan: He said my cherry orchard is to be sold to pay my debts, and the sale is fixed for August 22.
Spock: Chekhov.

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Computer, activate roach bomb.
 
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Khan: "So Captain, what has been the worst, most over-used punchline in the past two centuries?"

Kirk: "Chekov."
 
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Khan: "This underwear, Kirk, that you have provided me is stained. Whose was it previously?"

Kirk: "Chekhov".
 
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Khan: "The waiter, the one who giggled when I asked for a Sloe Gin Fizz? What is his name?"
Kirk: "Chekov."
 
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Shatner, on the first day of filming the series: I am the Lord God, thou shalt have no more lines than me!

-or-
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Kirk's original Nexus fantasy. Antonia who?
 
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Dr. Sam Becket had no clue his next leap would be THIS complicated and wondrous...
 
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