TNG Caption This #143 - "Threads"

[NathanielM]

Riker: i thought you liked that penile attachment that had the studs, I heard that Yar sure did.

Data: It is not the same without her, so i am going to destroy it... <grunts> There.

Riker: Oh man you are just cruel Data...

 

[NathanielM]

Picard: "Perhaps we can whistle a song together to pass the time."

Girl: Okay.

Picard: Got one? do you know little brown jug?

Girl grins but shakes head. "I got one Captain..."

Girl: begins to whistle the "Lost in Space" Theme song...

Picard: Nooooo Please

Girl still whistling...

PICARD: NO!!!! AAAAAGGGH NOT THAT! AAAAAAAAGH! STOP IT STOP IT!!!!! AAARGGH!

 

[Fulzo]

Riker: Wow.. data you sure are strong, You've just destroyed the last warp plasma conduit!
Computer: Warp core breach in 30 seconds...!

 

[Shatmandu]

It wasn't until years later did Data realize it wasn't appropriate for Riker to insist on watching him masturbate with a magnet.

 

[Triskelion]

Data: I've come with a message from Starfleet for you sir. And it has an attachment.

Oh yes, Marissa. Ever since Starfleet Medical figured out how to remove adam's apples, on Risa you just stop trying to spot them or even caring.

 

[Rat Boy]

Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist, was disbarred when he tried his patented "Scotch Treatment" on minors.

 

[cooleddie74]

Almost losing two longtime and cherished senior officers was the last straw for Chili and Beans Night aboard the Enterprise.

 

[cooleddie74]

DATA:"Yet...curiously...I cannot seem to have an erection."

 

[Gertch]

Geordi: "I told you that new glue would hold that wig on under any conditions! Now go punk the Captain, Data."

 

[NathanielM]

Geordi lets a gigantic fart

Picard: Captain to Engineering, What the hell is wrong with the stabilizers?

Geordi: "Nothing Captain... ever since they cancelled the chili night I have been forced to cook up an old recipe from my family of Okra, pork chops and Grits and it seems to have backed up on me..."

Beverly: Yeah you ain't kidding Geordi...

 

[NathanielM]

Riker: You need to be like Smiling Bob, but not with that Data.

DATA: And who is smiling Bob Commander...?

Riker: Never mind Data...

 

[NathanielM]

Riker: Damn it Data, Give me back my penile implant!

Picard: Yes Marissa, i am fine, I just got a giganitc tape worm in my throat... Want to see?

Girl: EEEEW!

 

[Triskelion]

Sir I've asked you to stop handing me magnets.
I know, Data, but it's just so darned amusing.

I'll promote you Marissa, but whatever you do don't put the pips up your nose. Tell that to the boys, too, I'm giving you a direct order! Never mind that it's a perfect fit, don't do it!

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"Hmmmm.

Are you busy after your duty shift ends, Commander? I have a clogged water drain in my quarters."

 

[cooleddie74]

BEVERLY:"Someone turn down the new AC unit!!

NOW!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "Uh, Data, that's actually Playdough."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"NO!!!!

Not my Stretch Rodstrong doll!"

 

[NathanielM]

BEVERLY: Goddamn it Geordi Did you hire Tim Allen to Rewire the AC again?

Geordi (grunts) Damn rights and it uses genuine SEARS PARTS!

 

[NathanielM]

Riker: "Uh, Data, that's not how a human masturbates himself."

Data: Indeed Commander.

 

[cooleddie74]

Most stale and rancid stick of margarine ever.