TOS Caption Contest #95 - Killing Mercy

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Kirk: "Over?? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Organian on the right [whispering]: "Germans?"
Organian on the left: "Forget it, he's rolling."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "Does it owe you money?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOR:"So it's the Vulcans who are bifurcated?"

 

[MANT!]

She didn't ACT underage Your Honor...

 

[Noname Given]

Kor: What's with the President of the UFP? For the last time, I have NO WMDs hidden away. You've searched my entire I. R. A. Q. facility. What? You want to go to war over this now?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

William Shatner (Speaking toi the Hollywood CA City Council): "...And just think of it! A 'one man show' of Shakesphere's Julias Ceasar with me playing ALL the roles and speaking in Esperanto..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk discovered that while TOS Klingons lacked forehead ridges, they made up for it with foreskin ridges.

Kirk tries to defend the number of dick jokes in the thread to the moderators.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Kirk hated being assigned entertainment duty at the Norpin Colony.

HEAD GEEZER: " Screw this Shakespeare crap, the last ship brought strippers!"

 

[John Picard]

Kirk tries to defend the number of dick jokes in the thread to the moderators.

CLASSIC

 

[scottydog]

Kor: "These people all think we are urinating."

Kirk: "It's hard to recognize a good circle jerk."

Kirk: "You'd think a good circle jerk would please a people known as the Organians."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Nice haircut.

Get a job, peacenik."

KIRK:"Whaddya mean you can't vote until Randy and Paula get back?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"In the Klingon Empire there are many rules and many regulations...one of which...is that no subject species is allowed to wear gay-looking yellow pajamas in public."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kor: "What the fuck do you mean, 'or coffee, no'?"

Kirk agreed to meet with the local chapter of the Young Republicans.

 

[cooleddie74]

"You toke up, Baroner?

If so...you may be a dude I can deal with."

Kirk's first contact with the Ruling Council of the Renaissance Festival Planet went surprisingly well...until the ceremonial and comically-proportioned smoked turkey leg was brought out.

 

[cooleddie74]

KOR:"Your skin...

You will tell me how you get it to look so fabulously healthy and radiant...either voluntarily...or under our Mind Scanner."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kor: "And if the mind scanner fails, we'll resort to water boarding. Then your friend will be a wet vegetable."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Wait...I know you...

You copulated with my WIFE...didn't you?!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kor: I may not know much about you humans, but you ought to see a doctor about that rash.

Kirk: Look I was messing around with a couple of Orion girls and got this rash-- now, it's turning green. Can't you guys prescribe me some sort of creme? Bones, just won't touch the damn thing anymore.

 

[cooleddie74]

KOR:"Be careful, Baroner.

Handsomely chiseled features like those are outlawed within the borders of the Klingon Empire."

Kirk's standup routine about what makes white Starfleet officers different from aliens and minorities just never went over well...on any planet.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kor: "These people all think we are urinating."

Kirk: "It's hard to recognize a good circle jerk."

Kor: "If we invited the vulcan, would that make it a triangle jerk, or a quadrilateral jerk?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KOR:"Be careful, Boner."

KIRK: "Baroner"

KOR: "Whatever..."

Kirk's demand that Ayleborne return his backup hairpiece fell on deaf ears.