Annoying Movie Cliches/Problems

[archeryguy1701]

Car chases. You have a couple dozen cars: The car our hero is driving, the car the main bad guy is in, and the other 22 cars for the bad guy's henchmen. The hero's car will get the crap beaten out of it, but still run perfectly. The main bad guy's car will get through without a scratch and dodge every other car, wreck and obstical in his way. The other 22 cars are royally screwed. They will all be destroyed dramatically. They will flip over every pebble, rock, beer bottle, or paper bag on the road. No one who isn't important to the plot will die on that road.

Oh, and you can't forget the scene where the bad guy is dragging the good guy's car across a tunnel wall or bridge railing, and they're shooting at each other all the while

 

[backstept]

the bad guy is pulling the trigger with the good guy in his sights, you hear the gunshot, and the bad guy falls down drooling blood, and directly behind him as he falls down is the person who shot him with a smoking barrel, usually the baddie's henchwoman who switched sides because she has a crush on the good guy, or the baddie's henchman who had a change of concience

 

[CorporalClegg]

If I'm not mistaken it can't be by law.

AFAIK, there is a law against impersonation of military personnel, that's why there's always something wrong with uniforms/medals and such in war movies ..

That's always been my understanding too.

Yup. And, AFAIK it's a pretty serious offense.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

On the subject of computers in movies, remember the early 1980's teen comedy Weird Science? Anthony Michael Hall, using what appears to be an Apple II computer of the time, probably 128k max, makes a real live woman built exactly to his specifications shoot out of his goddamn monitor screen and appear in his bedroom. What the hell kind of software was he running, anyway? Methinks we've come down in technology since then.

Maybe not...ever seen Time Chasers? A time machine is built out of a Commodore 64.

 

[Trekker4747]

On the subject of computers in movies, remember the early 1980's teen comedy Weird Science? Anthony Michael Hall, using what appears to be an Apple II computer of the time, probably 128k max, makes a real live woman built exactly to his specifications shoot out of his goddamn monitor screen and appear in his bedroom. What the hell kind of software was he running, anyway? Methinks we've come down in technology since then.

Maybe not...ever seen Time Chasers? A time machine is built out of a Commodore 64.

And the secrets/program to time-travel is stored on 7 5 1/4" floppies!

 

[ITL]

On the subject of computers in movies, remember the early 1980's teen comedy Weird Science? Anthony Michael Hall, using what appears to be an Apple II computer of the time, probably 128k max, makes a real live woman built exactly to his specifications shoot out of his goddamn monitor screen and appear in his bedroom. What the hell kind of software was he running, anyway? Methinks we've come down in technology since then.

Maybe not...ever seen Time Chasers? A time machine is built out of a Commodore 64.

**** COMMODORE 64 BASIC V2 ****
64K RAM SYSTEM 38911 BASIC BYTES FREE

READY

10 PREDESTINATION PARADOX
20 GOTO 10

 

[TheArsenal]

Most annoying to me: no matter who you are, a complete stranger can sit in your desk chair, look around the room, and see a clue that will help them guess your password in no more than three tries.

 

[Emher]

Anyone else notice how much rattling and clicking guns make in movies? Anyone else annoyed by that?

Yeah what especially gets me in a lot of movies and tv shows over the last ten years or so are the sound effect of someone cocking the hammer when the point a Glock at someone...Glock's DO NOT HAVE EXTERNAL HAMMERS and very obviously so.

 

[Cutter John]

Computer users who don't use mouses. Everything is done with the keyboard.

Safety tip: If you finally manage to knock out the giant, inhuman serial killer, do NOT walk over to make sure hes dead!!

And I don't think anyones mentioned the classic: Time bombs always have red digital timers.

Any cop show:
We take a grainy picture from 50 yards away, "enhance" it on the computer, and suddenly we can read the warning on the side of a pack of cigarettes.

Law & Order pulls that shit from time to time and it makes me nuts! Just hearing "Can you enhance that?" is usually facepalm time.

One another cliche I hate is whole ugly chick turning into a really hot chick plot when in fact the said ugly chick is actually very hot.

Usually involving foofing up their hair and switching to contacts. For me thats usually remote through the tv time, as I happen to think girls with glasses are sexy.

the bad guy is pulling the trigger with the good guy in his sights, you hear the gunshot, and the bad guy falls down drooling blood, and directly behind him as he falls down is the person who shot him with a smoking barrel, usually the baddie's henchwoman who switched sides because she has a crush on the good guy, or the baddie's henchman who had a change of concience

Or the variation. Good guy or sidekick points their gun at the other. There's a bang, the person jumps, then checks themselves for injuries. They step aside, and right behind them is a monster/zombie/evil minion with a bullet wound between the eyes.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Clip the red wire!

 

[Cicero]

Rolling out a few classics:
The power of love always prevails, and can solve pretty much any problem (up to and including raising the dead.)

I like that one.

 

[Australis]

A guy called Peter Anspatch had it right. He compiled a website called The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Became An Evil Overlord. It's pretty accurate and pretty funny. Here's the first 20

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

Had to add two:
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

The rest (and another 130) are at:
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

 

[Australis]

Hmm, seems my skillz as a destroyer of threads continues...

 

[Philo]

Nope. Thanks for the link. That was a good read.

My favorite two were....

1. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
2. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

Those are actually 98 and 99, resp.

 

[Mistral]

Most annoying to me: no matter who you are, a complete stranger can sit in your desk chair, look around the room, and see a clue that will help them guess your password in no more than three tries.

Didn't you get the memo I sent out about the ten most common passwords, "God"?

 

[Tom Servo]

On the subject of computers in movies, remember the early 1980's teen comedy Weird Science? Anthony Michael Hall, using what appears to be an Apple II computer of the time, probably 128k max, makes a real live woman built exactly to his specifications shoot out of his goddamn monitor screen and appear in his bedroom. What the hell kind of software was he running, anyway? Methinks we've come down in technology since then.

Maybe not...ever seen Time Chasers? A time machine is built out of a Commodore 64.

And the secrets/program to time-travel is stored on 7 5 1/4" floppies!

Oh, look at the transport countdown on the COM-PU-TER!

 

[Trekker4747]

Maybe not...ever seen Time Chasers? A time machine is built out of a Commodore 64.

And the secrets/program to time-travel is stored on 7 5 1/4" floppies!

Oh, look at the transport countdown on the COM-PU-TER!

Wait, this can't be our star can it? This will not stand! Movie? Movie?! Can I see your supervisor?!

Many, many great episodes in MST3K, but I think Time Chasers has always made me laugh the hardest. When the Time Chasers (full/"theatrical" version) comes out on DVD I may have to pick that up as well.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Many, many great episodes in MST3K, but I think Time Chasers has always made me laugh the hardest. When the Time Chasers (full/"theatrical" version) comes out on DVD I may have to pick that up as well.

Don't forget Space Mutiny.

 

[Trekker4747]

Many, many great episodes in MST3K, but I think Time Chasers has always made me laugh the hardest. When the Time Chasers (full/"theatrical" version) comes out on DVD I may have to pick that up as well.

Don't forget Space Mutiny.

Chunk Largehuge.

Space Mutiny is damn good too, lots of good ones. But most of the great ones (other than a few, like Time Chasers) are *ahem* not retail.

 

[mrcoaster]

Ok, this maybe bugs me just because I'm nore knowledgable on this kind of thing, but...

Having a pilot's license doesn't mean you can fly anything that flies. There's fixed-wing licenses and there's rotors licenses. Both are very different classes, very different equipment to take the hands-on tests on, and very, VERY, different principles of flying and controling aircraft.

Yet many, many, times in movies and TV shows characters say they have pilot's licenses and they jump into a helicopter after earlier, maybe, seen flying a plane (though sometimes we just go on the information "pilot's license.)

Probably the biggest offender of this in memory come sin the movie "Air America" in it a character is grounded and fired from his job as a traffic-copter pilot but is soon has it reinstated by the military and he's sent to Vietnam to fly.... AIRPLANES.

Sorry, jut because he's a license to and experience flying helicopters doesn't mean he's able to, and knows how to, fly a plane.

Doesn't mean that he only knows how to fly planes or helicopters either. I've known plenty of pilots qualified to fly both. You're right that it's often very convenient for the character to be qualified for both, but it's not some insane notion that the movies are trying to pull over on you. Many pilots are actually able to pilot both. They rarely flash multiple licenses and inform everybody about each license they hold before flight. Much like you might not tell people "In addition to this car, I'm also fully licensed separately and legally with a CDL, motorcycle and hovercraft, too!"


Now, for actual cliches?

Kids save the day, adults remain confused.

Underdog suffers and loses a lot. Works hard to gain confidence skills. Wins in end!

Endless car chases.

Woman and man are brought together for some plot reason. They don't get along. Working together, they develop respect and become attached. Woman in danger. Man saves day. They're in lurv!