TOS Caption Contest #81 - Watching and Waiting

[Shatmandu]

M'Benga, offscreen: "Okay, lets see ... Spock, Yeoman Hirohito, and Dr. McCoy; you're next."

McCoy, thinking: "Sweet, I get to do my driving test after the Asian."

Mugatu, offscreen: "Rrrrrrrrooooooaaarrrrrrrrrr ..."
Kirk, offscreen: "Push, honey! Push!"

McCoy: "Fuckin' school zones ..."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Redshirt; Mr Spock, if male Vulcans are bifuricated, then... the women?
Spock; It would be difficult to explain to a human.
McCoy; Ensign, look above my head, they're shaped like that.

 

[Shatmandu]

<McCoy slowly leans over and sniffs the empty seat bottom. The others squirm.>

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk started to wonder about his friends when they inexplicably started to run throughout the ship together in a protracted game of tag.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, thinking: "Why does he always want to use the toilet after me?"

 

[Rat Boy]

In order to be more environmentally friendly, contestants in the caption contest now take public transportation.

 

[Michael]

McCoy: What is this — the new "Running Spock" gag?

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: More power to inertial dampeners, Mr Scott. Dammit Scotty!
Scot: I'm givin' her all she's got! She canna take any more!
Kirk: Must...reach...hot...girl!

 

[Defcon]

 

[Rat Boy]

Even in the 23rd Century, there was still that half-naked guy on the subway who pissed in the corner.

 

[M'Sharak]

What? Kyle, a Cockney? I thought he was from Yorkshire. Right, Spock? Er... Bones?
[SFX - sound of boomerang, coming closer]
There's... something... odd going on here -- I can tell.

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Elmer: "Be wery wery quiet..."
Spock: "Odd, he speaks just like Chekov. I wonder if they're related..."

Bogart: "Balok, old buddy, I am sure one of these mooks has the Maltese Falcon"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK (Thinking): I guess I should have hopped in the shower first.

 

[Rat Boy]

Barney the Testicles: "Stupid BART delays. How the hell are we supposed to get to the bathhouse on time?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Jamie: Bachelor Number Three, how would you decribe Lt. Kyle's accent?

McCoy: Australian...er Yorkshire, ummm Cockney?

Jamie: Bachelor Number One, what one word describes your penis?

Spock: Bifurcated.

Jamie: Bachelor Number Two, same question.

Ensign: Australian...er Yorkshire, ummm Cockney?

 

[chancellorjake]

Spock and McCoy both agreed that the DART trains were the best way to travel around New Dallas.
Ensign Ito and Jamie were creeped out by the guy who kept masturbating in the back row. Why did he keep telling them what he was doing?

 

[Triskelion]

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Just another day on a New York City subway train.

 

[Rat Boy]

Barney the Testicles (thinking): Well, at least that fish-looking coffee asswipe isn't here.

 

[cooleddie74]

Japanese gameshows in the 23rd Century reached a whole new level of strict.