Movie Caption Contest # 30: Accidents Will Happen

[Rat Boy]

Seeing how I hate to do this first thing in the morning, I decided to do this in the late afternoon/evening, so off we go. First up, the winners:

Chekov: "I'm sorry, but ve just aren't looking for a bartender who only serves synthetic beer. Let's just see you to the door, Miss."
Guinan: "Did I mention I make a mean prune juice, too?"

Chekov: Can I help you? Here, you just need to rest. Come over here. Avay from de showing of Jumping Jack Flash.

White Person: "Doesn't matter. Hillary says you vote her way, you vote her way."

Kirk: "Do you know what the secret to life is? This. One Thing."

Picard: "THERE ARE FOUR THINGS!"

Picard: A toaster?
Kirk: They prefer the term artifical food heater, Jean-Luc!

Behind the scenes at the Berman and Braga Bed and Breakfast!
``Barry and Bergman want bacon and beans?''
``Barry and Bergman want bread and butter. Broder and Bittman want bacon and beans. Browning and Banerjee want bananas and broccoli. And Bryant and Brodbeck want biscuits and brandy.''
``... And I bring all this to room ... ''
``2-B!''
``... Am I being made fun of?''
``Bingo!''

And the Photoshop awards:

Tigh: How much longer?
Kirk: Soon, we need to calibrate the subspace relay on the artificial food heater first!
Picard: But we have to keep it within 5 microns for exactly 12.61 seconds to prevent fusing of the subspace field and microfibers of the bread particles!
Kirk: Not if we calibrate the...
Tigh: I just want my frakkin' toast heated, not more of your weaselly technobabble!!!

Shatner: Do you feel a breeze?

Congratulations to the winners. This week is a reminder that the final frontier can be a dangerous place, from transporter accidents to funky green glows that get you stoned, but not in the fun way. Plus, a bonus pick reminding us all to be careful what you touch, since you never know where it's been:

 

[Rat Boy]

Lady: "Oh my God, that crazy old Southern doctor was right!"

Acne, scourge of the Beta Quadrant.

Worst. Pink Floyd concert. Ever.

 

[CaptainJon]

Nimoy: Ahh...ahh...ahh...
Robert Wise: Not in the spacesuit. Not in the spacesuit.
Nimoy: CHOOO!!!
Wise: Damn, that's gonna be hard to clean.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Unfortunately, Rick Berman and Stuart Baird didn't take a hint from Star Trek Nemesis' ill-fated first test screening that some reshoots or script tweakings might be needed.

 

[Skywalker]

Reaction to Neelix's first attempt at Romulan cuisine was decidedly mixed.

 

[Maurice]

Reman Bukakke was beyond disgusting...

...albeit Spock enjoyed watching it...

 

[Kirby]

If it weren't for the written part of the exam Chief O'Brien never would have graduated from transporter school.

In space, no one can hear your prostate exam...

 

[Shatmandu]

Transporter Chief: "Okay, there goes Paris Hilton. Is Brittany Spears ready?"

Romulan: "But they said eating vegan was healthy!"

V'Ger gives Spock a blowjob.


-- or --

Lactose-intolerant Spock regretted downing the half gallon of milk before getting into his spacesuit.

 

[cardinal biggles]

Proving that too much of something is a bad thing, the Syphilis forum never approached the popularity of TrekBBS' Herpes forum.

 

[scottydog]

Ambassador Kenny's visit to Romulus was marred by his bout of explosive diarrhea.

 

[Rat Boy]

Transporter Operator: "Enterprise...what we got back didn't last long...fortunately. Oh, and we're making you guys clean up the mess."

Romulans had a similar reaction to "2 Girls 1 Cup."

They tried to warn him, but Spock did it anyway. He watched Heidi Montag's music video.

 

[Shatmandu]

Ambassador Spock, spent, offscreen: "You only bust a nut once every seven years and see how it smells."

 

[Rat Boy]

Klingon Gallagher wasn't much of a hit on Romulus.

 

[Shatmandu]

V'ger shows Spock the Director's Cut of "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier."

 

[Rat Boy]

Your average Packers fan this morning.

 

[Broccoli]

You'd think by the 23rd century, they'd find a way to unscramble porn.

 

[Rat Boy]

***Shameless Plug***

In retrospect, Ambassador Thraketh was kind of glad he missed out on this particular meeting of the Senate.

 

[BriGuy]

What's really said is that for many Trekkies, this counts as porn.

Comic Book Guy: Wait! I think I see a boob!

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Spock, are you all right?"

Spock: "I have a number two pencil shoved up my nose and Uhura's g-string shoved in my mouth. Of course I'm all right."

 

[Candlelight]

"Transporter room to bridge, dinner's almost ready"

Trying to get minorities on Trek took a back seat when the Lepper society showed up.

Out in the vastness of space, one thing bothered Spock - was that a reflection of a crewmember's arm and fist on his visor...?