Star Trek Hunter
Episode 6:
Breakfast Killer #2
Scene 3:
Gossip
Justice Minerva Irons had long studied her command mystique. She had learned more than a century ago that the less a captain was seen and heard by the crew, the greater her presence could be felt. She knew every inch of her boat and every detail of her crew’s movements. This allowed her to move through the craft often unseen so that at the right moment she might appear in engineering, or medical, or the shuttle bay. She knew all the back ways and had a number of haunts that helped limit casual contact with the crew - every encounter was planned and had a purpose. She trusted her executive officer to handle day to day operations. Her job was to shape the boat’s culture.
And she had a confidante to assist her with this - a person who could say the right thing at the right time to the right person so that she wouldn’t have to. As a 20th Century North American philosopher had written, a leader should try to avoid giving orders. Once you give an order on a particular topic, people become dependent on you to always give orders on that subject. Leadership at Irons’ level was all about cultivating the judgement and decision making abilities of others.
When Irons had come out of retirement for the fourth time to take the helm of the Hunter, she brought her best friend out of retirement with her to serve once again as her medical director. The private office next to the main medical office where Dr. Tali Shae preferred to sleep was easily Irons’ favorite haunt. The two women lounged in comfortable chairs, slowly working down one of the last known bottles of romulan ale, one of the most potent alcohols known to Star Fleet. Since Romulus had been destroyed by a supernova, there would be no more of this powerful blue ale.
Justice Minerva Irons took her time, appreciating each sip. “It has been a long time since I felt ambitious enough for this stuff.” She gestured with her glass. “Delicious poison.”
“We need it after everything we’ve been through in the past week - and this constant sexual pressure coming from T’Lon. It just digs at you all day long,” Dr. Tali Shae responded, then took a long, slow draught and sighed in appreciation. The ale had already made its way through her system and was starting to take effect. Her antennae seemed to move a bit more slowly and even more randomly than usual.
“You’re one of the lucky ones, Tali,” Irons rejoined. “You’re in a stable relationship - I won’t pretend to understand it - but it’s stable… I think I’m going to look up an old boyfriend on Bajor before all this is over.”
Tali Shae snorted and set her glass down. “You’ve got one in every port, don’t you? You would make Captain Kirk proud.”
“Oh, Tali,” Irons started, “I’ve been a sailor a very long time. I’ve got two in every port…”
Tali Shae rolled her eyes - her antennae comically mimicking this movement. “You are Captain Kirk…” A serious look crossed her face. “I don’t know how we’re going to get through this. From what I can tell, T’Lon isn’t in the worst of Pon Farr yet. I think things are going to get much, much worse.”
“I have crew members just about falling out of their seats with drowsiness as it is,” Irons groused. “It was bad enough when it was just the engineering department, but now it’s all the departments. No one seems to be getting any sleep around here these days.”
“I think it’s healthy,” Tali Shae responded. “I would rather have the crew worn out from sexual exhaustion than beaten down by an impossible workload. Not that each of our departments don’t have our hands full. Tauk has been loading my team down with more and more detailed requests about the forensic examinations on the victims, more details about health scans… He has really come along since taking over ground operations.”
“A ferengi on a fast promotion track in Star Fleet,” Irons mused. “I don’t think there are more than a handful of ferengi serving in all of Star Fleet. Once this mission is over, depending on how he handles the outcome - victory or defeat - there is a good chance I’ll replace that hollow pip on his collar with a solid one. He is definitely performing like a senior officer.”
“Speaking of senior officers, you want to hear a little gossip?” Tali Shae asked with a mischievous grin.
Minerva Irons took a drink, then set her glass on the desk a little too firmly. “You can’t say something like that to me! I’m a glutton for gossip. So tell me…”
“I think this Pon Farr thing with T’Lon has been particularly healthy for some of our crew… Especially our Dr. Carrera…”
“Lieutenant Carrera has a girlfriend?” Irons asked.
“A boyfriend,” Tali Shae responded.
“No wonder that kid is so tormented,” Irons opined as Tali Shae took another drink. “His great grandfather would never approve. Vulcans think of homosexuality as illogical. Can’t see the purpose for it. They’re quite a liberal lot on most issues, but not when it comes to this one. And poor Sarekson has been trying so hard to act like a vulcan when it really isn’t in his blood - not that much…”
Tali Shae nodded. “If it hadn’t been for all the lust leaking out of T’Lon’s head, I doubt Carrera would ever have come out of his shell - or that his new boyfriend would have made the move on him.”
“You know I have access to the disclosures,” Irons said. “If you don’t tell me who it is, I’m going to have to look him up. It’s not someone on his staff, is it?”
“Oh no, no one under his command,” Tali Shae responded. “No, our Sarekson is a lucky, lucky boy…”
“Quit teasing me!” Irons said. She looked at her glass and was no longer certain how many times she had drained it. More than once, which was more than was recommended for romulan ale.
“Only the most beautiful piece of man flesh on this boat. The one all the girls have been drooling over since he brought his perfect collection of muscles on board…” Tali Shae teased…
Minerva Irons rolled her head back and a delighted smile made her look like a young woman again. “Buttans???”
Tali Shae nodded with delight, relishing the effect her tidbit of gossip had on her best friend. For a moment Minerva Irons was once again simply the most beautiful woman ever seen in the Federation.
Irons relaxed back into the plush chair. “That is very good news. And we needed some. That boy genius worked so hard and accomplished so much. But he’s missed so much along the way. If anyone on this boat deserves some happiness, it’s him. And with Buttans - my, my, he did luck out.”
The two women fell silent for a moment.
“It isn’t illogical,” Tali Shae said, almost following Irons’ train of thought. “Dr. Dolphin addressed it in his dissertation - homosexuality as a response to evolutionary pressures…”
“He covered a lot of territory in that dissertation,” Irons said. “For a work on ethics, it’s awfully wide ranging - anthropology, biology, sociology, demographics, economics, politics, advanced mathematics, history - most dissertations aren’t a tenth as expansive. Pisses me off,” Irons concluded.
“Why?” Tali Shae was keenly interested. “It is a fine work of scholarship.”
Minerva Irons looked at her empty glass, then decided she needed a refill if she was going to talk about this. She poured herself another shot, braving her doctor’s disapproval, took a sip, sighed.
“It hits too close to home, Tali. My grandmother was the original matriarch of the Irons family and she was my hero. The whole strategy - multiple marriages by contract for limited time, marry into the powerful families on every planet - produce lawyers and judges. That’s been the plan and I’ve followed it well. It’s not just about family power, but using that power for good. To try to knit the Federation closer together. Powerful vulcan, human, andorian, denobulan, and other families knit together by marriage contracts. Interdependence at the highest level. I grew up believing in that.”
“Then this obscure Harvard professor just pulls the rug out from under my entire life - everything I’ve lived for for more than a hundred years.”
Tali Shae shook her head slowly. “That’s not what I got out of his work. I don’t think what you… what we have been doing is immoral.”
Minerva Irons fixed a steady gaze on her best friend. “He isn’t wrong about vulcans becoming extinct. They’re an amazing people. This universe will be so much poorer when they’re gone.”
Tali Shae shook her head again. “No, they won’t,” she said, somewhat incoherently. “This universe is richer because of people like T’Lok. And Dr. Dolphin is back there right now - I don’t think T’Lon would have had a chance of surviving her first Pon Farr without him. Vulcans often die when the symptoms are this pronounced.”
Irons took a long drink. Then a long breath. “Your girlfriend will be here soon. Maybe you’re right. But Dolphin put his finger on the seismic fault at the heart of the Federation. The species purists never before had an intellectual underpinning to their gut feelings - their xenophobia. They’ve never been this strong in 300 years. Nearly every population is split over this issue. To us they’re a bunch of rude, illiberal people trying to tell everyone else how to live. But to them it’s a matter of survival and identity. They’re terrified of losing who they are. Or at least who they think they are.”
Irons got up unsteadily. Tali Shae put a hand on her shoulder. “Let me beam you back to your cabin. I don’t want the crew to encounter you in this state.”
Irons put her hand on her best friend’s chest. “They’re all so desperately horny, I don’t think they would notice. I’ll take the maintenance crawlway. There’s no one in there and I could use the exercise.”
Dr. Tali Shae gripped Irons’ shoulder. “Not with that wrist you don’t. Let’s not risk reinjury. Doctor’s orders.”