There's a lot of nonsense being tossed about in support of the preposterous Mad Queen arc. Those who agree with the producers' deeply felt conviction that Daenerys was a monster for tormenting the Masters are only consistent in thinking Daenerys did any good thing. Sorry that actually discussing this takes so much space.
As for Daenerys not being satisfied to be Khal Drogo's wife, Sansa wasn't satisfied being Tyrion's wife either. Taking the Iron Throne was not just being safe, but finding somewhere else to live than Vaes Dothrak. I'm sympathetic, though any who think Dothraki customs for wives are suitable will disagree. After Drogo died, she gave others a chance to leave, and some did.
The sack of Astapor was conducted by slaves freed after Daenerys used her dragon to murder the slavemaster. This earned the permanent hatred for her. The conquest of Yunkai, ditto. In Meereen, the crucifixion of a Master for each child crucified was stern but just, an example of why we should prefer to beg mercy than to demand justice. The show believes the whole Meereenese storyline about how awful it was to torment the Masters by freeing slaves is "The Yankee carpetbaggers and scalawags tormented the South with their mad, vicious, inhuman ideology of Reconstrutction?" Oh, yeah, after they made sure we knew some slaves wanted to stay with the masters they loved, and it was right not to execute rich people but to execute uppity ex-slaves who were taking an unjust revenge, and executing the good rich folk was murderous tyranny because they had nothing to do with the Sons of the Harpy, who were just hirelings paid by somebody else, they discreetly dispatched the Sons of the Harpy. They had after all done their work in showing how Daenerys was a wicked tyrant. This whole storyline was preposterous, no matter how sincere the producers were in believing this BS. Proffering this reactionary mythology as proof Daenerys was always evil is unacceptable to anyone who doesn't agree.
Sansa's enmity for Daenerys came first. There is no escaping that, and no excusing it. She hates Daenerys more than she hates Cersei and feared the Night King. As to Daenerys' temper, sure it's real. It is also known that Daenerys will listen to advisors, just as Sansa listened to Brienne when she wanted to kill Jaime.
Sansa had no real reason to think Daenerys is mad (except a violent prejudice in favor of the sanctity of noble life a la Tyrion.) And she knew Daenerys and Jon were in love. She hated Daenerys because she wanted an independent kingdom in the North (if not more,) one that she would be enormously influential in. She pushed Jon into attacking Bolton, she could hope to push him into much more. If she had sent the knight of the Vale to the wall, rather than forcing Jon to seek help from Daenerys, the Night King wouldn't have been able to break the wall, while the gates could be held. It is not at all clear that Bolton had to be attacked. She wanted it, though.
The mad queen scenario is wrong, even if it was intended. The producers evidently thought they were writing a supervillain with misdirects, but they inadvertently wrote a heroine. Everything now to support their supervillain plan has to falsify the character they wrote---which they did, however much they misunderstood---or rely on stupid tripe like the ridiculous one party secret annulment or a double standard where Sansa is justified by her belief in hereditary monarchy but Daenerys isn't.