TNG Caption This! #443: That new Shuttlecraft smell...
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T4TW Santa Garrus!
Riker: Remember how I made that rule about the pilot getting to control the radio?
Data: Yes sir.
Riker: Well that was before I knew about Klingon Lionel Richie.
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Riker: Remember how I made that rule about the pilot getting to control the radio?
Data: Yes sir.
Riker: Well that was before I knew about Klingon Lionel Richie.
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Data: Whose your Dăta...that's what I should have said to Doctor Pulaski!
Data: Should I indicate which docking door we will approach before initiating aft entry, sir?
Picard: Only if you intend to enter one specifically marked "exit only", Data.
Data: Noted.
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Pulaski: You see, Commander? None of my three husbands could compare to this little baby.
Data: Excuse me, Doctor, I believe that is more information than I require.
Data: Sir, I appreciate your desire to expedite the process of obtaining your skinny latte no foam, but the Starbucks baristas are occupied with serving the Enterprise crew. I do not believe honking the shuttlecraft horn would suffice, if indeed we possessed such a thing.
Ensign Hotness: Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?
Worf: Very well.
Ensign Hotness: Okay. It's morning. You're getting ready for bridge watch. You pull on your Starfleet uniform. Do you fasten and then zip, or zip and then fasten?
Worf: What kind of question is that?
Ensign Hotness: Well look, we got two hours to kill.
Worf: Forget it!
Ensign Hotness: Just a question.
Worf: Why do you want to know?
Ensign Hotness: Why do I want to know? Because I think of these things sometimes. I was getting dressed this morning, and for a second I couldn't remember which I did first! I started thinking about it. Does everybody do it the same way, is it a left-handed, right-handed thing?
Worf: Do you think about this stuff a lot?
Ensign Hotness: Yeah! Look, okay, I'm sorry I asked. And you're always so serious all the time. Not every conversation has to be the end of the world as we know it.
Worf: I did not mean to...
Ensign Hotness: Never mind, it's okay. I'll just --- watch my console. Don't worry about it.
Worf [a long pause and a sigh]: Fasten, then zip. You?
Ensign Hotness [perking up]: Fasten, zip! [They chuckle, then another long pause.]
Worf: How much longer?
Ensign Hotness [bored again]: One hour, fifty-seven minutes. Wanna talk socks?
Worf: No.
Ensign Hotness: It's just a question.
Worf: We are not having this conversation!
Data: This...has never happened to me before.
Ensign: Why doesn't your little dashboard Kahless tip over?
Worf: It's a kling-on.
Riker: And that was Triskelion's favorite caption that he ever wrote?
Data: Yes, sir. Yes it was.
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Worf: "Commander, a perimeter search has turned up nothing."
Riker: "Damnit! I don't know how this keeps happening; how we keep loosing all these ensigns and nobody's while all the important senior staff keeps surviving. Oh well."
Worf: "Yar, commander."
Riker: "Worf, you're not a pirate."
Ensign: Sir, do you realize this shuttle has lights?
PICARD: Remember standard docking procedure.
DATA: Yes.
PICARD: Scan for space time anomalies.
DATA: Time is moving at normal speed and internal chronometers match.
PICARD: Scan for horrible contagions.
DATA: Ship has normal compliment and conditions are normal.
PICARD: Scan for mind control devices.
DATA: Scanning...detecting a small parasite wrapped around the brainstem of every crew member.
PICARD: Damn it Brannon.
WORF: Wait, you mean another species injected something into Geordi as their way of reproduction?
BEVERLY: Yes.
WORF: So that means...Geordi finally got laid!
PULASKI: It's a retrovirus...it causes a healthy person's skin to break out in old person makeup!
PICARD: What the...
Q: I wish I knew how to quit you.
WOMAN: (Thinking) Okay, I have got to be the one to say something. If Worf doesn't start showering before these long shuttle trips...
DATA: Huh. I just realized that throwing something at Kivas wouldn't affect the forcefield. Why hadn't I thought of that yet?
RIKER: Did you know these things had seat belts?
DATA: And the consoles do have surge protectors, we just haven't been using them.
Picard: Captain to Enterprise, how's about you indicate next time you change lane.
Worf: I hate his nacelle cap bald head.
Riker: He's always skulking around, accidentally walking in on crew at 3 AM - they just happen to all be MILFs.
Worf: Like buttering up Wesley's going to get him in the Doctor's scrubs. Does he know how much she despises him for killing her husband and leaving her alone with that shrub?
Riker: No, he's too busy memorizing Shakespeare and squeezing into a uniform two sizes too small for his spank tank.
Picard: Erm...perhaps this anomaly can wait.... <steps back in turbolift>
Data: Berlinghoff Rasmusen...Max Headroom...nahhhh.
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Picard: The ship looks good from this angle. Nice to know it's been working out.
Data: The shuttlecraft door is open, Commander.
Riker: I know. I'm just nervous after locking my keys in last time.
TFTW Leadhead!
Data: I do not understand why every docking has to consist of six minutes of us slowly flying around the ship whilst our theme music plays.
Picard: It's another tradition started by Kirk. Why on Earth Every Single Thing that man ever did has to become a Star Fleet tradition I'll never know. I have to poo twice on Tuesdays because of him.
Riker: I know the X-Files is coming back, but that doesn't make "Lighting by torch" cool again!
Data: This is the brightest shade of red hair dye I could find. Trust me, once you've used it the Captain will let you stay.
Picard: Trapped on a shuttle with Q forever? Well it could be worse, at least there's no Sonya Gomez here...
Ensign: So they finally listened to a suggestion of yours Sir?
Worf: Yes, it happens about once a year. I'm always immediately proven to have been wrong, but I take what victories I can.
Data: ...And Sir, I think their Captain was in Getting Even With Dad, one of the great films of the 20th century.
Riker: Dear God...No!
Troi: Turn it off! Turn it off!
Data: I told you that you would not wish to see These Are The Voyages.
Data: I do not understand why every docking has to consist of six minutes of us slowly flying around the ship whilst our theme music plays.
Picard: It's another tradition started by Kirk. Why on Earth Every Single Thing that man ever did has to become a Star Fleet tradition I'll never know. I have to poo twice on Tuesdays because of him.
Riker: I know the X-Files is coming back, but that doesn't make "Lighting by torch" cool again!
Data: This is the brightest shade of red hair dye I could find. Trust me, once you've used it the Captain will let you stay.
Picard: Trapped on a shuttle with Q forever? Well it could be worse, at least there's no Sonya Gomez here...
Ensign: So they finally listened to a suggestion of yours Sir?
Worf: Yes, it happens about once a year. I'm always immediately proven to have been wrong, but I take what victories I can.
Data: ...And Sir, I think their Captain was in Getting Even With Dad, one of the great films of the 20th century.
Riker: Dear God...No!
Troi: Turn it off! Turn it off!
Data: I told you that you would not wish to see These Are The Voyages.
Data: "As you can see, sir, when I activate the co-pilot JJlights, it gives you a window into what you will look like in twenty years: wrinlier, greyer, and an extra five pounds in the face."
Riker: "Oh, God, shut it off!"
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