Voyager Caption Contest #136 Random

[Catarina]

Excuses, Excuses! Here are the new images.

I may need to step down. Normally I wouldn't share my biz, but I've been here a year and I've come to know many of you. And maybe you'd be proud to know because of some of you I summoned my courage and I left an abusive home in an outwit out play out last Survivor meets Janeway. However, unlike fiction, coffee doesn't tame PTSD or depressive episodes and Jeff Probst won't have a Mill for me.

-Cat

Have a fun and safe Halloween! I adore my fellow fans.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

No winners?

WOMAN: Hey, let's get that one!
MAN: That one? It looks so uncomfortable, it doesn't even have pockets.
WOMAN: Yeah, but it's marginally less hideous than these weird stripe patterns the entire planet wears.

CHAKOTAY: What's your name again?
CAREY: Lt Carey! I was almost chief engineer.
CHAKOTAY: Oh, right. Didn't you die?
CAREY: Nope, wasn't me! Was another midlevel officer.
CHAKOTAY: Okay. I'll have to remember that.

KIM: You know, I was actually a Captain. Then Q came along and let me undo this fight I got into with a Klingon where my heart was destroyed? Suddenly I woke up and I was an Ensign.
PARIS: And you didn't beg him to make you a Captain again?
KIM: I should think not! Being an Ensign is so much safer.

TUVOK: RAAARRR! (Opens and closes fingers)
PARIS: You're really good at turblift door finger animals! Whod've thunk it?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

This is the church. And this is the steeple.

Open the door...and get its ass crushed in a turbolift.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Lt. Torrance: "Heeerrrsss'sss John -- what the fuck? Heeerrrsss'sss -- really? Computer, open turbolift doors, I'm still trying to be disturbingly menacing. Everybody in the lift: pretend to be pychologically mortified until the doors open."

 

[Catarina]

I kept thinking about Worf from that episode Genesis wants to kill/hump the Captain.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Pointing Woman: "'Old lady fingers'!"

 

[Catarina]

Woman: That male mannequin has man boobs without the corset.
Man: I can achieve the result without my wife lacing me up each morning?
Paris: It's called eating a lot of fried chicken.
Man: Let me get my manbag.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Woman: Look at that atrocious uniform! The natives of that planet clearly had no fashion sense. Here on 1970's Bowling Shirt World, we obviously don't have that problem.

 

[joededman]

Do take care of yourself Catarina.

Woman: Look at that obnoxious piece of trash!
Man: It's a travesty!
Woman: Really. I mean, where are the laces?

Carey: Man, those port-a-potties are small. Uh, and I wouldn't use the last one for a couple of hours. Nelix' cooking does thing to my digestive system.

Kim: I can so do the Vulcan hand thing. See!

Damn! I think I just f***** my manicure.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Harry: Nanoo nanoo?

 

[Catarina]

Harry: Nanoo nanoo?

RIP Robin Williams...

and I agree that man doesn't have a chance selling star fleet uniforms. Not in that boutique. Maybe some as seen on TV: Trek Snuggies! or something.

 

[Catarina]

Harry: So I was doing a routine diagnostic on the holodeck and discovered Seven's program, Lesson 29: It's Lonely at the Top.
I thought it would help me see wisdom in the Captain's decision not to promote me and ugh, nothing about perfection. It was amateur, well you know! Chakotay and Seven doing moves that look like the vulcan greeting.
[note paris' and Chak's face]

Carey: Hey Commander, you appear to be the chosen Red shirt of this mission. Test this fruit!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIM: In the words of Surak, " Over the lips and through the gums. Look out stomach here it comes."

TUVOK: That is not a traditional Vulcan meal time blessing.

PARIS: Told you he'd say it. You owe me twenty credits.

KIM: I hate you guys.

CAREY: I caught it and brought it back. What do I win?

CHAKOTAY: It's a photon grenade, you idiot!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WOMAN: One stripe? How gaudy.

 

[stardream]

Yes! The resistance movement has found its uniform! If that doesn't say rebellion I don't know what does.

Carrey: Can I play too? Come on...you know I'm a team player! You know I'm good at this! Pleeze....Chakotay! Pick me!
Chakotay: And you are.....?

Kim: So I thought he was a Vulcan which was an easy mistake to make. Had no idea he considered this rude. He was insulted. Next thing I knew he was beating me up for impersonating someone with a personality.

 

[Catarina]

Alright, Alright, I'll post some winners. Don't you all know you're winners? haha, I know. I laughed a lot so here's the (catarina's idea of abridged) version:

The "I knew he couldn't be trusted" award goes to Lead Head

Chakotay: It's Voyager!

Janeway: What's it skywriting?

Chakotay: "So long, suckers. -Tom"

[Same image as above]

And the "we're on the same wave length" award goes to JirinPanthosa
39 Days. 20 Starfleet Officers. 1 giant predatory worm. Only one...SURVIVOR!

Best Pun award goes to: Whose name I still can't remember without copy and paste: My dear, Triskellion(did I even spell it right? Sheesh, it's not that difficult! oy.)

Janeway: Do you know Scarborough Fair? Parsley, Sage, Rosemary -
Caretaker: NO THYME!

Awesome PS Planet of Apes reference:

NEELIX: Shit.

I agree he shoulda judged this one! He was my stand in!

PARIS: Been a pretty rough search, eh Tuvok?
TUVOK: Mr. Paris. Your attempts at congeniality aside, I regret to inform you... I do not believe LeadHead will return and we will be stranded here for some time.

And because I think you're humor is unappreciated award goes to my man Tharp

"I hear they're not gonna pick winners..."

 

[hux]

Man: It took me four hours to lace up this morning.
Woman: Yeah, me too... Holy fuck, some kind of zip device!

Carey: I just had my first successful poo since we got to the Delta quadrant. I'm so happy. Weeeeeee.

Kim: So I did the Vulcan on her.

Chakotay: I usually just use my little finger.

Seven: Let me out. I don't want to have a last minute, out-of-nowhere relationship with Chakotay. LET ME OUT!

 

[Catarina]

Carey: I just had my first successful poo since we got to the Delta quadrant. I'm so happy. Weeeeeee.

right?

 

[Karzak]

Awesome PS Planet of Apes reference:

NEELIX: Shit.

I agree he shoulda judged this one! He was my stand in!

PARIS: Been a pretty rough search, eh Tuvok?
TUVOK: Mr. Paris. Your attempts at congeniality aside, I regret to inform you... I do not believe LeadHead will return and we will be stranded here for some time.

These two were mine. Many thanks!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Carey: "Look what I found, commander."

Woodcotay: "Excellent! I had almost forgotten about that."