DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody Boy!

[Smellincoffee]

What a fitting turnout for that last contest, the big 100 and dominated by the Sisko! This week takes us back to the beginning, to "Emissary", but first --

Sisko: Comment tous les creoles disent, "laissez les bons temps roulez!"
Picard: Er, what language is that, commander?
Sisko: Poser.

Emissary of the Prophets: When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight, call Federation Express.

SISKO: Wow, this story is so good Jake-O! You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to stick it to the refrigerator!
JAKE: I was going to submit it for publication.
SISKO: Yep, right on the refrigerator!

[

Sisko: What anger problem?

SISKO: Yeah, yeah. Strong harvest, healthy kids. Sin no more. Now can you move? I'd like to get some breakfast,

Sisko: So I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men.
But the most damning thing of all...
This freaking glass is empty, and I just ruined a great moment.

Sisko: ... and he replied proudly, "The Aristocrats!"
Solok: Pardon me, I believe I am going to be ill.

Sisko: Like... (pant)... I was... (pant)... saying... (pant)... the DS9 Caption Contests are the best.

Okay, the Emissary might have been biased on that one. A second EC, just in case, and as a special thanks to the founder of the contests ---

So amazed and proud that this has reached its 100th contest! I remember starting this and wondering: "Would anyone post?" Right out of the gate it was embraced by this wonderful community and given so many moments of pure comedy. Congratulations Smellincoffee!

Sisko: According to legend, the Bajorans used ships like these to explore their star system.
Jake: According to legend, you're a religious icon.
Sisko: You're right. Maybe I should spend the next 3 weeks doing something other than building an obsolete space ship that will fall apart if anomalies even look at it the wrong way.
[/IMG]

And now....."Emissary"!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

KIRA ( sarcastically) Wow...your technology is sooooo impressive. Thanks for saving us.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

KIRA: No mouthwash on Ferenginar?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Date: "Ooohhh, Sisko -- that was so good I thought I saw the prophits."

Sisko: "LOL, you did, baby. Singular."

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Thanks for the win!!!

Sisko: Finally...the day I get to kill Gul Dukat!
Kira: ...That's Garak.
Sisko: Oops.

::The Borg explode the wormhole::
Dukat: Boom boom go the prophets...tee hee!
Sisko: Oh my God...they killed the prophets!
Kira: You bastards!

Sisko: Not now, baby, I'm talking to the prophets.

Sisko: What in the actual ****! Ops is exploding!
Kai Winn: Rejoice, Emissary. It is the will of the prophets!

Quark: So THEN in the dream...me, you and Dax are swimming naked in a pool of liquid latinum...
Kira: Security! Troll on the Promenade!

 

[Captain Kathryn]

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Quark: Didn't Ro Laren have that SAME hair?
Kira: No comment.
Quark: I think they're just using you to recycle her character without paying for it.
Kira: TROLL! TROLL ON THE PROMENADE!

 

[Nerys Myk]

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SISKO: I'm having second thoughts about the whole family on starships thing.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Thanks for the win! Or in the language of the Picard, Merci pour la victoire!

Sisko: Faster, Nog! You've got two good legs. Use 'em!

Quark: Frau Blucher!
Offstage: Neigh!

Sisko: No need to call out, babe. I know I'm a god.
Jennifer: If you are a god, you know the future.
Sisko: Sure. I'm a war hero, Jake's a writer, I'm having a baby with a freighter captain, something about locusts ...

 

[Triskelion]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

TFTWSC!

Kira: That Hansel, he's so hot right now.
Sisko: You got that right.

Sisko: I meant to ask Jennifer where our daughter's school is. Oh well, looks like it's just me and opie now.

Babe: 'Shabbat shalom?'
Sisko: I panicked.

O'Brien: So that's what happens when you drop Mentos into a plasma conduit. Huh.

Quark: No, it's true! You and Odo! I saw it in the orb!
Kira: That's it, I'm cutting you off!

 

[Hutchy01]

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Sisko: (Thinking) Remember what Jimmy K. would say.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

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KIRA: *Sigh* You mean we have to use those dinky Federation phasers?
SISKO: We'll be getting an upgrade soon.

SISKO: Wait, wait, why don't we use the transporter to save her?

PROPHET: You were destined to come here, so our kind could learn the ways of love. This is where The Sisko learned the ways of love. The Sisko must show us.

SISKO: Odo, Laas has to be stopped. He's causing a menace on the promenade.
ODO: Laas is not causing a menace! All he's doing is being fire! Now he's being wind! And now he's being lightning. Where's the harm in that?
SISKO: Okay, NOW he's being a menace.
ODO: All he's doing is being a dramatic action movie explosion! He's not disturbing anybody, you RACIST!

KIRA: Yikes. That nose does not look good on you. You should get a nose job sometime in the next week.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

JENNIFER: You should know, I'm seeing someone in another reality.

 

[Catarina]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Kira's reaction to Quark's suggestion:

Quark: Some lovely lobes and a nude form and you'd be a perfect mate for me.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Thanks for the win, Smellincoffee!

Sisko: Ferengi intruder on the promenade!! *fires phaser*

Kira: Uh, commander? That's Quark, the proprietor of our local bar. He's allowed to be here.

Sisko: Oh. Sorry.

Kira: ...I didn't say stop.

Sisko: Pilot, could we return to the ship? I left my American Express card in my quar...

*BOOM*

... damn.

Jennifer: Uh, Ben? What's with all the pale, diffuse lighting?

Sisko: Special effects, baby... go back to sleep.

Debris: Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Quark: Your Gul Dukat impression needs a bit of work if you're planning to use it in the talent show.

 

[Catarina]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

When do I get paid?

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

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Kira: It's true what they say about Federation men, always thinking with their phasers.

Sisko: Damn, I knew I left the stove on.

Jennifer: You do realise the only reason I said 'yes' to you on the beach were because of those shorts, right?

Pew! Pew! KA-BOOM!

Simultaneously:
Kira: What's up with your face?
Quark: What's up with your hair?

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Prophet, in Kira's form: Aggressive, Adversarial.
Sisko: Competition. Jake and I play it in the holodeck. It's called laser tag, an Earth game.
Prophet, in Kira's form: Laser tag? What is this?
Sisko: I was afraid you might ask that. We dress up in paramilitary clothing, cover ourselves with sensors, and shoot each other with low power lasers. What's important is it's linear. Every time I shoot Jake-o, he dies. He must stand there for five seconds, during which time I get into a better position, and shoot him again! When we are done, I tease him that he can't beat his old man and he cries all the way home. See: one thing after another. Shoot, die, tease, cry, home. It's linear!
Prophet, in form of Kira: Maybe this one is not the Sisko. Maybe it's the one with the spoon attached to his head.
Sisko: So much more fun than playing Ambo-jitsu.

 

[f14peter]

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JENNIFER: "Wake up Ben, you've been dreaming and talking in your sleep ... going on and on about some planet called Bajor, prophets, a reluctant emissary, your friend Kazon, some place you call the Dominion ... and who's this bimbo Cassidy you've been grunting about?!?!?!?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Re: DS9 Caption Contest 101: He's Not the Messiah, He's a Very Moody B

Thanks for the win!

That awkward moment for the writers when they realized: either the scene had to be re-shot...or they had to establish Bajorans have an inner eyelid....

So who says cool guys don't look as explosions, again?

Jennifer Prophet: Corporeal mating is most linear.

Sisko: Aw, geez--had to ruin the moment, didn't you....

Bashir: Well; quite an explosive situation.
(James Bond theme plays....)

Shimmerman: I know. Which is why I said, "You had BETTER get me a better one QUICK, or I'm gonna be the butt end of jokes about 'sticking my big fat nose into things' for the rest of my life!"