TNG Caption This! #382: Strategies for the Future

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Greetings, I understand your one of the people who've been complaining that 24th century humans are self satisfied smug gits?

Riker: No wonder we're better than you.

Worf: *Thinking* Why do I have to be Leadhead's favourite character? A whole week of jokes insulting me alternating with jokes about Mass Effect I don't understand.

Picard: No, relax, I really wasn't going to surrender.

Crusher: The pile of complaints from lower ranking officers about how you're giving Wesley preferential treatment and denying them career advancement because of you, and I quote, "Wanting to bang his mother" is now this high.

Picard: Yeah, but all their mother's are ugly.

Trust me, I checked.

Geordi: Honestly, I don't touch her every time I touch the ship.

Ro: What about now?

Geordi: OK, just a little.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Alien voice (OS): "For breaking our laws, your leader must die! Which of you is the leader?"

 

[Triskelion]

TFTKBLLH! Woo hoo!

Riker: Excellent form, sir. Very human and lifelike.
Picard: I've been practicing on a Talarian mop!
Riker: Now we just wait for their ship to finish docking.

Wesley: Foreheads of the week ahoy.
Data: Mister Worf - what is their tactical status?
Worf: 'monbreak.

Riker: Sir, this planet is on the brink of a global war that will set their civilizations back a thousand years. They need our help.
Picard: Have they achieved warp travel yet?
Riker: Yes sir. The Prime Directive does not prohibit us from rendering planetary aid.
Picard: Great, great.... Oh, who am I kidding, screw 'em.

Beverly: No shortie shorts today, Captain Stubing?
Picard: Look, I've told you to stop that.

Geordi: That's weird. Someone set these holodeck safety protocols to shuffle.
Ro: Hey, check it out - Pong!
Geordi: Cool!

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``How peculiar ... three votes for, two against, skipping right ahead to the second season. But four votes for and only one against skipping to the third. And then back to three in favor and two against skipping to the fifth. What's going on here?''

 

[Finn]

Acting Ensign's Log: I'm gonna be Riker when I grow up. I'll even grow a beard…

Second Officer's Log: I think the boy harbors an admiration for me. I hypothesize that he would take after me when he is fully grown and is a starfleet officer

Backup Ops officer's log: Thank god Data isn't pulling a Riker on me...

 

[Mojochi]

Picard: Welcome back Ambassador Briam. We've been meaning to contact you about finding some more of those empathic metamorphs you might have lying around

Worf: On a Klingon ship, the strongest warrior would be left in charge while the captain is away

Data: And how does that differ from our current arrangement?

Wesley: No, I think it's your turn to absentmindedly get us into deep shit this time, Commander.

Beverly: Seriously. You should do something about the glare from that knob of yours

Geordi: Now you just continue pulling the shaft until it creates a reaction. Here, let me show you

Picard: (Over Com) Bridge to Laforge.

Geordi: Computer, save and end program, voice authorization access code LaforgeTurboShaftDelta

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Oh, I see the sex was so good you're saluting me."

Beverly: "Ahhh... the reflection on your..."

 

[LeadHead]

New contest has begun!