What if Geordi had a wank?

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies I-X' started by GeneHunt, May 7, 2012.

  1. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    I think you all are turning things on its head. I'm not the one who's not making sense.

    The language is called English, having originated in England. There's no such thing as 'British English' (Britain at any rate incorporates England, Scotland and Wales, which all have different accents, slangs, dialects etc) any more than there's such a thing as American English, Australian English or Irish English. There are simply different dialects of English across the world.

    From this side of the pond (and I'm Irish, not British), expressions like 'British English' just make no sense. 'British slang' is really what you mean.
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2012
  2. Ar-Pharazon

    Ar-Pharazon Vice Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    So if a Brit eats a lot of curry, he gets petrol? :guffaw:
     
  3. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    ^ Nah, he gets ring-sting. Or Delhi-belly. Or wind.
     
  4. horatio83

    horatio83 Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    And they get called British or American English and not "slang". Labour is British English and not British slang just like labor is American English and not American slang.
     
  5. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    ^ By you maybe. Not by English people. I know I'd refer to 'American spelling', not American English.
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2012
  6. horatio83

    horatio83 Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    By me? Let's see what the Oxford dictionary says.

    British English
    English as used in Great Britain, as distinct from that used elsewhere.

    Strangely no results on 'British slang' ...
     
  7. Shazam!

    Shazam! Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    I'm not sure I'd resort to cracking one off on my own when there is a holodeck available.
     
  8. Satyrquaze

    Satyrquaze Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Location:
    Satyrquaze
    Not sure I'd be in the mood for that sort of thing right after being tortured by an El-Aurian... or the Enterprise CMO.
     
  9. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    For one thing, the word 'wank' is not just used in Britain. And if one needs a dictionary to define 'British slang', God help them...

    The online dictionary can say what it wants, 'British English' is not an expression you'd regularly hear on this side of the Atlantic.
     
  10. horatio83

    horatio83 Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    I used the Oxford to point out that your claim that merely I use terms like British English is BS.

    Of course you don't hear British English often in GB just like you rarely hear American English on the other side of the big pond because most often it would be tautological. But when comparing the two incarnations of English these terms make sense and 'having a wank' is quintessentially British and not American.
     
  11. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    ^ I said 'by you, maybe. Not by English people' Not 'only by you.'

    I'm not trying to be hostile. I just think it's a silly expression, which fails to take into account the fact that there are a wide variety of expressions, slang, dialects, colloqualisms etc used through different regions of Great Britain and the UK. You might find that some expressions are used in Scotland and in parts of Northern Ireland but not in England or Wales. Geordie dialect is totally different from Cockney rhyming slang. I also think it's just weird to talk about 'British English', given that English originated in England, one of the countries in Britain.

    And the word 'wank' is also commonly used in Ireland and (I believe) in Australia.
     
  12. Ar-Pharazon

    Ar-Pharazon Vice Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2005
    Austin: Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English. [Nigel looks back at girls]
    Nigel: All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (Subtitle: I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
    Austin: Are you telling pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? (Is this true? If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
    Nigel: What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
    Austin: Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
    Nigel: Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
    Austin: Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! (The insane one?)
    Nigel: Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.)
    Austin: She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... (A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck)
    [complete gibberish] (????????)...
    Austin & Nigel: --tea kettle!
    Nigel: And then, and then--
    Austin & Nigel: She shat on a turtle!
     
  13. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
    Geordi was actually born blind. He got his VISOR at age 5.
     
  14. sonak

    sonak Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Location:
    in a figment of a mediocre mind's imagination

    That may all be the case, but again, by defining "British English" to be just "English" it's like you're either saying that the way it's spoken there is the one correct way of speaking it. Maybe differentiating between "American English" and "British English" isn't a common thing to do there, but that's because you're only talking amongst one group. When you've got people from both countries it makes sense you'd differentiate between the two forms.

    And as Horatio83 pointed out, what do you call "labor" vs "labour?" Neither is slang or incorrect, one is just "British English" and one is "American English."


    (oh, and there are plenty of different dialects and varieties of slang used in American English as well. Would you care for a soda, or a pop? Or how about a Coke?)
     
  15. Captaindemotion

    Captaindemotion Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Ireland
    ^ I'd call them different dialects or different colloqualisms and different forms of spelling. I accept that there's American spelling and UK spelling (don't forget that words like 'labour' aren't just used in GB). There can be as many variations of expressions within GB or between Britain and Ireland. If I said 'gutties' most people in England or Scotland would go 'huh?' but it's a common expression for trainers in Northern Ireland. If someone from Ballymena or one of the rural parts of Northern Ireland was talking to a Geordie, I'm guessing an interpreter might be required.

    If you have 'British English', then how do you differentiate between the way it's spoken in England and the way it's spoken in Scotland? Is the former English English? Does one differentiate between French in France and French in Canada by talking about French French?

    I think the term 'British English' only makes sense to those who aren't aware of the diversity of the use of English within Britain; people in the US frequently use the words 'British' and 'English' interchangeably, even when they mean Scottish or Welsh people (and even Irish).

    There is no homogenous 'British English' any more than there's such a thing a 'British accent.' There are many accents within Britain and many ways of speaking English in Britain. There is one English language but one of its greatest assets is its diversity and variety, as expressed in different regions and nations where it's spoken.
     
  16. BillJ

    BillJ Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2001
    Location:
    alt.nerd.obsessive.pic
    This will probably be the most read/replied to thread in the history of TrekBBS by the time it's all said and done. :rofl:
     
  17. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2009
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Or the cables you use to start a car from another car's battery.

    Rhyming slang -- "J. Arthur Rank" rhymes with "wank." So "wank" is British. And Australian.
     
  18. Dukhat

    Dukhat Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2007
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    You do get that Captaindemotion was making a joke, right? About the correlation between masturbation and going blind?
     
  19. GeneHunt

    GeneHunt Commander

    Joined:
    May 25, 2006
    Location:
    Newcastle UK
    No problem, that's what it was for :techman:

    I had no idea it would create so much hostility about language lol.
     
  20. horatio83

    horatio83 Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    The term British English is not used to imply that British English lacks variety but to contrast it with American English. Phrases like "having a laugh/wank" or "bugger off" or whatever are more used in GB than in the US so we call them British (English).

    Of course English originated in England but as the US are not a small country, measured by population and cultural influence, we have to differentiate nowadays sometimes between the two incarnations of the language.