We won't be playing games anymore.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by James T. Vader, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

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    :lol:

    Sorry. I should have added: In Amsterdam. ;)
     
  2. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    You know it's a funny story but it boggles the mind how people over share. I've been in these icebreaker situations more than a few times where what is supposed to be a get to know you deal ends up with someone grandstanding and making it all about them and their suffering. When, you know, it was supposed to be directed chit chat to help people feel comfortable. I do not understand it, though I do have a good friend who does it all the time herself.. and I still don't understand it.
     
  3. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I think you only have to look at message board threads to see how easily it is for people to turn a discussion of anything into a pity party for themselves. As was mentioned upthread, it's incumbent on the facilitator to set the expectations for the ice breaker, "Share a funny story from ... etc." That won't completely stem the tide, of course. But it should keep these incidents to a minimum.
     
  4. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It was a she.

    It's today's therapy culture.

    Sure, some people have legitimate psychological issues that might be helped by competent professional counseling. That doesn't mean they have to stick their problems in everyone else's faces.
     
  5. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

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    Yikes!

    Sounds like a plot from "The Office."
     
  6. Gary Mitchell

    Gary Mitchell Admiral Admiral

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    You would think that these people would use a little common sense and realize that they aren't in group therapy and to keep it light.
     
  7. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Certainly not an unreasonable expectation. Especially where adults are concerned. But it's been my experience, however, that if there's a certain kind of behavior you expect (or would like to elicit) from an activity, then it's best to provide a very clear expectation for what that behavior is ... including explicitly modeling that behavior.
     
  8. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

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    I dunno, you look at a year and you're asked to think of what happened to you in that year what's first going to spring to mind, your battle with cancer or that new couch?
     
  9. Scout101

    Scout101 Admiral Admiral

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    But it's a light icebreaker, no one wants a 15 minute sob story about how you were so depressed that year that you tried to kill yourself twice. It's not "say the first thing that comes to mind', they were asked to give a quick example, in a work environment, to co-workers. You're allowed (and expected) to self-edit a bit. As 'dark' as you really want to go there is that maybe you were having a bad year, and then X happend that was nice to turn it around. You don't talk about the time you took all those pills or climbed up on the roof.

    As someone mentioned, it seems that if you don't have a good story, a lot of people decide to go straight to the pity party routine and see if they can out-suffer you instead.

    How about a little awareness of the situation? Maybe next time, just talk about your trip to the grand canyon, and skip the part about going there because you thought you were dying of cancer (and the 20 minute follow-on about all the chemo)?
     
  10. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    It's how it's done. If you are going to break down and take everyone with you, best leave the really confrontational stuff unsaid. If you can simply say, "that was a bad year for me, I had X happen, but I'm in a better place now" that's fine.
     
  11. Collingwood Nick

    Collingwood Nick Vice Admiral Admiral

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    2013 was a great year for me. I learnt the coin game from this topic. Can't wait to try it in a staff meeting.
     
  12. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The best thing to do when forced to answer random personal questions is to make shit up.
     
  13. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Now that is a fun game. :lol:
     
  14. The Mirrorball Man

    The Mirrorball Man Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Do you live in a Todd Solondz movie? :guffaw:
     
  15. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

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    Yeah, exactly!!
     
  16. B.J.

    B.J. Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    In my office (a bunch of engineers), that wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings, since it would be taken (and intended) as good-natured ribbing. Happens quite a bit in our meetings, actually! :lol:
     
  17. James T. Vader

    James T. Vader Lieutenant

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    Here's the part I am going to hell for. The first girl is Cambodian and through her broken English her exact quote was "twice I tried to suicide myself."
     
  18. Stoo

    Stoo Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    god I'd hate that. Probably invent a story about fending off angry bears using only my karate skills.
     
  19. sojourner

    sojourner Admiral Admiral

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    "When I was twelve I had my scrotum ritually shaved by a Buddhist monk...."
     
  20. Alidar Jarok

    Alidar Jarok Everything in moderation but moderation Moderator

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    Yeah, it really does sound like something they would have done. Holy crap, that's awkward. Seriously, there's a time and place and that can't possibly be it.

    However, that's what the boss gets for picking a slightly more complicated ice breaker. Just do the name, where you're from, and random fact formula that everyone hates and get it over quickly (or, as pointed out before, don't do icebreakers).