Voyager Caption Contest 119: Had a Bad Day

Discussion in 'Voyager' started by Captain Kathryn, Feb 23, 2014.

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  1. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    [​IMG]

    Kim gets disturbingly unexpected results from his snake-charmer act.

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    JANEWAY: No, it was CRAFT beer. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a connoisseur.

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    DOCTOR: Why did Doctor Zimmerman program me with male heterosexual desires? It makes my job very frustrating.

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    The Voyager crew does a fan parody of the music video for Black Hole Sun.

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    JANEWAY: Little does Chakotay know I'm spiking his wine with personality-destroying neuro-poison. Now he'll never mount a Maquis rebellion.
     
  2. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    JANEWAY: Dinner for a week, remind me to never gamble with you again.
     
  3. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Megalopolis
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    Tom: The Captain was only placating you when she promoted you to Quartermaster of Woodwinds.
    Kim: Don't care.


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    Sorry, Captain - at what point did you think I wasn't holorecording these sessions?
    <Doors swish in a huff>

    This will disappoint her fan base.
     
  4. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Location:
    Captain Kathryn
    Going to try to post the new contest tonight or tomorrow.
     
  5. Bry_Sinclair

    Bry_Sinclair Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2009
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    The glorious Shetland Isles!
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    McNeil: Garrett, pretending to give a clarinet fellatio won't make the PTB give you any more screen time or character development--you know unless you're Jeri.

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    Janeway: Woo, keggers don't get any easier with age. At least I kept my shirt on this time.

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    EMH: I keep telling you, I'm a doctor not a gigolo, Captain.
    Janeway: Centuries ago, physicians used to treat female hysteria in this way, so get to it, Doctor.

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    Director: Cut! You in the blue. Yes you. Tone it done for Christ's sake. You're an extra, this isn't going to be your big break.

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    Janeway loved to sneak up on unsuspecting subordinates, but instead of a cream pie she went with a Rokeg blood one instead.
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    VULCAN (os): Now our minds are one!

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    VULCAN: Mmmm yeah, Harry, blow the clarinet!
    EVERYBODY ELSE: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
     
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Janeway: "Well, you're a mediocre doctor, but you're one hell of a vibrator!"
    EMH: "That's rather blunt, don't you think? Even for you!"


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    Janeway: "It's no use; I can't get in the mood! I can't shake the feeling that some pervert with a quantum telescope on some planet is watching us through the windows!"
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2014
  8. anthony_lynch15

    anthony_lynch15 Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2014
    Think you're contest is over, but I love doing these things, so here's a few more:-

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    Paris: Do you mind not doing that right now Harry!
    Harry (thinking): F### you Tom!

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    Janeway: What happened?
    Doctor: Suffice to say you should probably stick to synthehol at the next ship party.

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    Janeway: Computer activate Erotic Massage Hologram.
    Doctor: Please state the nature of the.....CAPTAIN?!?!?
    Janeway: Dammit computer, wrong EMH!

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    Paris: Oh god, my eye!
    Everyone: Hahahahahahahahaha.
    Paris: No really, I can't see.
    B'Elanna: No one cares Tom!
    Science officer: Hahahaha, poke the other eye!

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    Janeway: This is a recipe my grandmother used to make us when I was just a child. Have I ever told you about my mother, fascinating woman...
    Chakotay: - gulp gulp gulp -
     
  9. anthony_lynch15

    anthony_lynch15 Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2014
    LOL. This is my favourite one from the thread.
     
  10. Bry_Sinclair

    Bry_Sinclair Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2009
    Location:
    The glorious Shetland Isles!
    Cheers :bolian:
     
  11. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Location:
    Captain Kathryn
    Not over yet! I will try to post the winners soon. I've been so busy. T_T
     
  12. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Thanks for the win!
    Janeway: "I'm telling you, Doctor, those Black Friday shoppers are horrible, just horrible! I've never seen such rude people!"
     
  13. Eydie Munroe

    Eydie Munroe Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2012
    Location:
    In A World All Her Own...
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    Doctor: Look, I know you said this meeting would be casual, but don't you think this is taking it a little far, Captain?
     
  14. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    [​IMG]

    Doc: what do you mean you don't want a rectal exam?
     
  15. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Megalopolis
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    EMH: Don't worry, Captain, we EMH Mark One's are experts at "scrubbing plasma conduits on waste transfer barges."
    Janeway: Oh no he di'in't!
     
  16. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    EMH: "I am sorry, Captain, but the closest my programming could come to something like that would be...a pelvic exam, I guess?"
    Janeway: "This was a terrible idea and I feel like an idiot."
     
  17. Eydie Munroe

    Eydie Munroe Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2012
    Location:
    In A World All Her Own...
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    Doctor: Captain, are you alright?
    Janeway: Ooooh...my head....
    Doctor: I was only gone 12 hours. What happened?
    Janeway: I'm never doing that again.
    Doctor: Paris's First Contact Day party?
    Janeway: No, I let Chakotay drive the ship.
    Doctor: Ah. Well come along with me to Sickbay. It's obviously time to have your head examined.
     
  18. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Janeway: Doctor! You've got to help me! I'm under attack!

    Doctor: By who? There's no one else here.

    Janeway: It's my hair! It's sentient and it's trying to eat the rest of my head! It's like some evil warlord or something!

    Doctor: So should we call it...Attila the Bun?
     
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Megalopolis
    [​IMG]

    EMH: Starfleet has given me permission to renew your glaucoma prescription if you would just stop landing the ship in Colorado.
    Janeway: Whooooa, temporal anomaly, dude.
     
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