VOY Caption This 84; Feminine Wiles...

Discussion in 'Voyager' started by Ln X, Aug 20, 2012.

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  1. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    Another day, another caption contest...

    Ahem... OUR WINNERS!

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    The mates-with-lizards award goes to:

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    The Tom's mating algorithm award goes to:

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    The all-the-colours-of-the-rainbow award goes to:

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    The Kathy's humiliation award goes to:

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    The goodbye Harry Kim award goes to:

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    And now the special award:

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    Some double-tag captioning action here:


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    Heads up to the winners!

    Today's theme: feminine wiles! The pictures to be captioned:

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    Next contest will be up in about a week and a tad bit's time...

    Until then enjoy!
     
  2. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    [​IMG]
    Chakotay: A gift from my tribe; stuffed Muffee.
    Janeway: Sorry?
    Chakotay: It's a dog, stuffed!
    Janeway: A dog? What kind of barbarism is this?

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    Girl: More viagra Harry?

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    Janeway: Come on people! If I can live without coffee, you can sure as hell live without water!

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    Doctor: It's quite serious, you've put on a few pounds of weight, so much so your corsets may burst...

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    Doctor: Oh my! Ocampan feet are an orgasmic zone?
     
  3. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Chakotay: I knew you missed your dog, so I turned Neelix into this.


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    Terminator-X: I'm really gonna enjoy this...


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    Janeway didn't realize the crew was following her lead until it was too late...


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    Doctor: I'm sorry, Seven. You are no longer Cadiscot champion.

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    The Doctor: So, Ocampan life lines are in their feet?
     
  4. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Austin, TX
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    The real reason Harry Kim didn't want to leave...
     
  5. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...

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    Janeway: "I thought the Federation Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Tribbles had banned you from doing that ritual."
    Chakotay: "Delta Quadrant..."
    Janeway: "Right, Akoochimoya time again."

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    Kim: thinking "I think it might actually happen. I might get laid this time."
    Girl with tray: "So, are you a lesbian too?"

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    Janeway: "Maybe around the next ridge..."
    Chakotay: "I can't believe you forgot Kirk's first rule of landing party etiquette."
    Everyone else in chorus: "Remember where we parked!"
    Janeway: "Shut up and keep walking!"

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    Doctor: "Ah, the pensive stare into the distance preceding emotional musing."
    Janeway: "Soon to be followed by 'smell the fart' acting."
    Doctor: "No doubt some lengthy technobabble about unimatrices and nanotechnology."

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    "Bridge to EMH, a Marcellus Wallace is in transporter room two with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch inquiring as to whereabouts of Mrs Wallace..."
     
  6. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    EMH: At least it's not Lupus.
     
  7. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Shangri-La
    Thanks for the win. Good to see we're on a regular pace with these again! :)

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    Janeway: A new medicine bundle?
    Chakotay: Q did leave that puppy on the ship when he tried seducing you.
    Janeway: Janeway to Tuvok. Report to my ready room. Bring your phaser.

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    Harry thought it was going so well until he woke up the next morning naked, hanging from the ceiling and covered in whip lashes.

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    Janeway: Walk softly and carry a big rock.

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    Seven: Do these neck implants bring out the color of my eyes?

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    EMH: Yes Nurse, it's customary for all medical practitioners to test their massage abilities on their staff.
     
  8. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Everything was going great... Until they found out he was still an Ensign...
     
  9. Turd Ferguson

    Turd Ferguson Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2003
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Thanks for the win :)

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    "Permission to speak freely, Captain? I think you'd look damn fine in this beagle-skin bikini."

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    "That's right ladies... in the Federation, Ensign super cedes the rank of Captain. So, I'm kind of a big deal."

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    Janeway: These Kazon may not look superior, but their tactical prowess is unmatched by any race we've ever encountered before!

    Chakotay: Not true! Once, aboard the Maquis ship, we had to outwit some Cardassian pursuers!

    B'Elanna: I remember that! Then we had to outrun a Galaxy-class ship in the Badlands!

    Kim: I think that Ferengi bartender at Deep Space Nine was more threatening and intimidating than these clowns.

    Neelix: Now that I think of it, Captain, I believe Voyager is the first ship ever in the quadrant to get overtaken by the Kazon.

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    "As you can see, the results are back. That strange growth? It was actually a penis that was folded back when the Doctor fitted you for your suit. You're actually a male. And your name isn't Annika. It's Enrique. Enrique Hansen."
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    JANEWAY: Sorry Chakotay, the puppet show's been canceled, by popular demand.

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    KIM: Yes, they call me the Korean Elvis.

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    JANEWAY: Keep looking people, no one beams up till we find that contact lens!
     
  11. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Chakotay: B'Elanna asked me to bring this back to you. Tell me, you weren't too attached to the sweater you let her borrow, were you?


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    Janeway's plan worked perfectly; distract Harry with a bunch of attractive Trill Women and have them put a symbiont in him once he was relaxed, changing his personality forever.

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    Janeway: No one beams up until we find the commbadges!

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    Doctor: Look on the bright side, you'll be gone long before the surprise party Neelix planned for you.

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    The Doctor: Please state the nature of the toenail emergency.
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    JANEWAY: Keep looking people, no one beams up till we find that dog!

    CHAKOTAY:Dog? There are no dogs on starships.
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    GIRL: Try the dog.

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    KES:My dogs are worn out looking for that damned dog.

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    EMH: Should we tell her about the dog?

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    CHAKOTAY: We found your dog,

    JANEWAY: Dog? There are no dogs on starships.
     
  13. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    Kim: *thinking* Let's keep an eye out for dropped pips

    Janeway: ...And everybody need to be sure they don't lose their pips or Mr. Kim will try to pick up one.

    Kim: *sigh*
     
  14. Velocity

    Velocity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Location:
    In the back of beyond
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    Hi ho, hi ho! It's off to syndication we go!

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    You really fit in here, Harry. You're just like one of the girls!



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    Chakotay: I found your slippers in the holodeck again Katherine.

    Janeway smiles and hums a little Irish ditty.
     
  15. Violet.Phoenix

    Violet.Phoenix Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Location:
    A distant corner of the Zeta Quadrant...
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    Chakotay: "Kathryn, I found a way to bring that monkey back with us from New Earth."

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    Sadly, no one remembered to bring sunglasses on this particular venture. Later reports indicate that two crew members were blinded in the incident. Sunglasses quickly became a staple for all away missions.

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    Doctor: "Good thing you brought her to me, Captain. That coffee nearly short-circuited her!"

    Janeway: "I did warn her it was potent."

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    Doctor: "Tell me, Kes, why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" on your foot?

    Kes: (incredulously) Neelix told me it was courage!

    Doctor: *sigh* Either Mr. Neelix serioulsy misunderstood the database or he's desperate to advertise his latest version of leola root soup.
     
  16. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

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    "Muscles" Chakotay brings Honcho Janeway the head of the Furrvian ambassador. The ambassador was warned that Janeway's overture was an offer he couldn't refuse.

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    Harry: "Why yes, I am well versed in playing with my clarinet. Why do you ask?"

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    Janeway: "Stop complaining. The Captain always stands alone, even in the three-legged race. There's always a chance that one of you not tied to Neelix might still win!"
     
  17. Bob Karo

    Bob Karo Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2009
    Location:
    South Louisiana
    Kim:...

    YES!

    Why, yes. Yes I am.
     
  18. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Kim: "You know, you girls are the only women to pay any attention to me in seven years?"
     
  19. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Hooker #1: "No problem, Sugar! As long as that Federation VISA card scan comes back 'Valid,' we'll call you 'Lieutenant' for as long as you want!"
     
  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    JANEWAY: Says here, not to feed them after midnight.

    CHAKOTAY: Uh, what time is it?

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    JAMEWAY: Oh and watch out for rattlesnakes.
     
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