VOY Caption Contest 110; Iterative refinements

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by Ln X, Jul 11, 2013.

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  1. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    As promised here is the next contest!

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    And the special award...

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    Congratulations to the winners: old-timers, newcomers and captioning veterans!


    I was high on oven-cleaner when I picked these pictures...

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    Have fun!
     
  2. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Neelix: You know I came back to this store thinking of nothing but your beautiful-
    Talli: Melons?

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    Tuvok: May I ask how we can trust the supposedly cartographic maps from a holographic projection of a man from the 16th century?

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    What really pissed off Chakotay was noticing that this alien was wearing his best uniform...

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    Doctor: How's your sex life?
    Seven: No comment.

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    Da Vinci: What is that yellow stuff?
    Janeway: Duct tape! One of the most practical things in the universe!
     
  3. NAHTMMM

    NAHTMMM Commodore Commodore

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    "And here is where I designed a warp sleigh capable of bringing your ship fifty tons of coal."



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    "You people let who become the ship's cook?!"
     
  4. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    Neelix: It's perfect. This fruit looks really healthy and really disgusting.
    Talli: You really like messing with your crew don't you?

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    Tuvok: You made yourself an apprentice to Leonardo Davinci?
    Janeway: He's a brilliant inventor.
    Tuvok: Whatever you say, Mary Sue.

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    Alien: Thank you for the offer of this manservant, but he's a little dull. I can't keep him around the house.

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    Doctor: Your hormone levels suggest physical attraction to multiple male members of the crew.
    Seven: That's none of your business.
    Doctor: May I suggest you practice on an artificial male? I'd be happy to volunteer.

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    Davinci: There's something that's been bugging me. In the 15th century, women should not be educated enough to help me build a flying machine. I should not accept you as an assistant.
    Janeway: It's my fantasy, I can make you act however I want.
    Davinci: ...So you only like me as part of some wish fulfillment thing of yours.
    Janeway: Just shut up and be Davinci.
    Davinci: Yes maam.
     
  5. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Triskelion
    TFTW Ln X!
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    Talli: Want me to teach you how tell a fresh melon just by squeezing it?

    Neelix: No thanks, I have a tricorder.


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    Tuvok: Captain, it has been three days and he still has not said that he 'must draw you.' May I suggest you slut it up.


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    Alien: Sorry, the role of Chewy has already been filled.


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    Seven: Doctor if you try any harder not to look at my breasts you'll short circuit.


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    DaVinci: Yes yes, flying machine, blah blah blah. Come take a look at my next marvel of the modern age: the hydrostatic tight turning yard tractor with 46 inch cutting deck and optional mulcher.
     
  6. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    If you want it
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    TUVOK: Why is Gimli here?
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Triskelion
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    Alien: No offense, but - what's the deal with your Captain's breath?
    Chakotay: We do not speak of this.
    Paris: We just surround her with holograms whenever possible.
    Alien: This...coffee. Is it some kind of weaponized gas vapor?
    Paris: No, but you might be interested in Neelix's La Fiesta Burrito Night.
     
  8. Tosk

    Tosk Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    On the run.
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    It was the first time she had ever been complemented on her beautiful
    orange melons and realized he actually meant the fruit.
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Triskelion
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    EMH: Ah here's your problem. Your cortical node is full of porn algorithms.
     
  10. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Captain Kathryn
    Triskelion, I love your captions. :lol:
     
  11. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Triskelion
    Very glad to hear it Captain Kathryn!
     
  12. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    SEVEN: Are you going to complete the scan?

    EMH: Sorry, I was distracted by my reflection on the tricorder screen.
     
  13. Finngle Bells

    Finngle Bells Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
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    Robbie: You are gonna be the redshirt of the episode..

    Nobody: But you both are wearing red too

    Beltran: Cute, isn't he. I love those guest actors, Robbie
     
  14. bbjeg

    bbjeg Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 24, 2013
    Location:
    Right here buddy.
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    DaVinci: Essatto Catarina!
    Janeway: Maraviglioso!
    Tuvok: Good work Captain.
    DaVinci: Noob.

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    Paris: ...then he drank B'elanna hidden bottle of bloodwine.
    Alien: I'm your captain and I order you to PISS OFF!

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    Doctor: So Kes says, 'It's me or the Borg.'
    Seven: What did you do?
    Doctor: I destabilized her at the subatomic level.

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    Janeway: I just can't understand how someone of your era can come up with the things you do.
    DaVinci: I don't expect you to, you're a woman.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2013
  15. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Captain Kathryn
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    Neelix: May I squeeze your melons?
    Talli: Sorry, I'm not into furries.
    Neelix: Dammit.

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    Tuvok: Is this bearded hologram what humans call a "Santa Claus"?
    Da Vinci: I can hear you, ear-boy!
    Janeway: Tuvok! This is Leonardo Da Vinci, a great artist and inventor from the 15th Century.
    Tuvok: Then it is logical to assume that his knowledge is extremely outdated.
    Da Vinci: I know someone who's getting coal this Christmas...
    Tuvok: Computer, delete the Santa.

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    Alien: Ok, ok...you can have the uniform back on one condition. I get to keep this man as my personal slave.
    Chakotay: Errrr...I don't think...
    Tom: It's a deal!

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    Seven: Doctor, how is staring at my breasts relevant to conducting your scans?
    EMH: Your breasts are always relevant.

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    Janeway: My security officer thinks you're a Santa.
    Da Vinci: Ho, ho, ho! I mean...no...that's absurd.
    Janeway: This plane sucks.
    Da Vinci: Have no fear, Caterina! My magical flying reindeer will arrive within the hour.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2013
  16. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    The last thing Neelix recalled before losing consciousness was commenting on the plumpness of the stallkeeper's melons.

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    Janeway: "What does God need with a starship?"
    Leonardo: "I suppose you think you're being original..."

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    Chakotay: "You're a Bolian with a bad make-up job, wearing a Klingon sash, not a new alien species."
    Paris: "I hacked the computer and added that bit to the First Contact procedures, the bit about sex with Seven, just to see what people would do. You're not even original. Harry has already tried that one."

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    Seven: "My implants have started to resonate and pulse, whenever the ship exceeds warp 9."
    EMH: "Let me take a quick look at your cranial port."
    Seven: "Um... not my Borg implants."

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    Janeway: "Some inventor! This won't even keep out the rain."
    Leonardo: "It's a glider, not a tent."
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Triskelion
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    Neelix: Our Doctor is putting on an opera performance later.

    Talli: Then you'll want our special hurling canteloupes.


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    Janes: Look. Da Vinci's famous "Grateful Dead" logo.


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    Alien: Is your card the Jack of Clubs?
    Chakotay: No, the Viscount of Hedges.
    Paris: He doesn't get out much.


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    EMH: Lollipop Bling by Mariah Carey?
    Seven: I will beat you to death with your own arm.


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    Da Vinci: I must get these calculations exactly right. How much did you say you weigh?

    Janeway: 100 pounds.

    Da Vinci: Passenger: 100 pounds. Staple gun, 86 pounds.
     
  18. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
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    If you want it
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    ALIEN: Never met your Captain. Like I said, I found it at a thrift store. Maybe she donated it or something?

    CHAKOTAY: How did you know the Captain was a woman?

    ALIEN: Ah, gotta go!
     
  19. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    The next contest will be up this Friday.
     
  20. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
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    Leonardo: Katarina, I must find camels.

    Janeway: No camels!


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    Seven: Why is this scan taking so long?

    The Doctor: Hmm? Oh, sorry, just catching up on my comics. Oh, Marmaduke.
     
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