VOY Caption Contest 109; A Small Ship

Discussion in 'Voyager' started by Ln X, Jun 17, 2013.

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  1. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Apologies for the delays, exams and revision got in the way but they're by the by! So onto our next contest!

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    And the special award...

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    Congratulations to the winners, and also nice to see some new faces to!

    The next pictures up for captioning are...

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    Have fun!
     
  2. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Janeway: -so I've fallen in love with this ship's first officer and I don't know whether to be aloof like a good captain should be, or ask him out for a date. What do I do Tuvok?
    Tuvok: Logic would suggest revealing to Commander Chakotay how you feel, however under the circumstances that is not possible.
    Janeway: Why?
    Tuvok: He's behind you captain.

    A long silence follows...

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    Seven: You improved astrometrics sensor range by precisely 3.141- Exactly pi percent, impressive captain.
    Janeway: Consider it a birthday present Seven!

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    Seven: May I ask why you are babysitting?
    Tom: B'Elanna kicked me out of our quarters, she said I wasn't mature enough to be a parent. So now I've got to spend the next month with Naomi and Flotter...

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    Seven: A Romulan could do a better job organising this junk.
    Torres: You-
    Seven: A joke to lighten the situation.

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    Harry: Ugh bad day today...
    Tom: Cheer up Harry, Neelix is sick so...
     
  3. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    JANEWAY: Look. This planet has a drink almost identical to coffee, but even richer and darker!
    TUVOK: That may be so, but it would be illogical to trade all our dilithium for...
    JANEWAY: Too late.

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    CHAKOTAY: I'm glad Seven has become a member of the crew, but why did you put her in that outfit?
    JANEWAY: To torture Kim.
    KIM: Uhhh....

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    TOM: You can never tell Sam that Naomi broke into my liquor stash.
    SEVEN: Where are you taking her?
    TOM: To sickbay. After the Doctor cures her hangover I need you to erase his memory of it.
    SEVEN: I'm not sure you've thought all this through.

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    B'ELANA: And then I found the two of them in the cargo bay.
    JANEWAY: Can someone please find a time anomaly so we can reset this romance?

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    Tom and Harry in the moooorning!
     
  4. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Thanks for the win!

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    Janeway: So... I hear your pon farr is coming up... (get it?).. next month.
    Tuvok: We do not discuss it withoutsiders.
    Janeway: Nothing to discuss. I'll see to alllllll your needs. For the good of your health... totally for that.
    Chakotay: (cries)

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    Chakotay: (thinking) I'd tap that.
    Janeway: (thinking) I'd tap that.
    Kim: (thinking) I just had an accident.
    Seven: (thinking) Why is everyone staring at me?

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    Tom: I thought I'd be happy when Neelix left the ship.

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    Seven: I want a uniform. I'm tired of the lustful looks from Ensign Kim, the Doctor, your first officer... you. I'm also tired of the jealous looks of hatred from Lieutenant Torres.
    Torres: Don't worry, I'll still hate you if you get a uniform.

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    Paris: Behold! I who am an expert pilot, a field medic, can design and build a ship that goes infinite, commando, fighter, lover, history expert... have now taken up art. Look at my first masterpiece, a more lifelike version of Harry Kim carved from the most dense alien wood in the Delta Quadrant!
     
  5. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    TFTW Ln X!

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    Janes: This one time, at band camp.....


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    Chaks: Now program the crew's recreational hologram with your physical attributes, Seven.
    Janes: But make her...warm for our forms.
    Kims: No! Keep her cold as ice.
    Seven: And a riding crop?
    All: Yes!


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    Paris: After we put Naomi to bed I'll show you my holoprogram, "How Treevis Got His Wood Back."


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    Chaks: Can I be frank with you?
    Seven: Yes.
    Chaks: ♪ ♫ Fly me to the moon, let me play....♪ ♫ ♩ ♬
    B'Elanna: Oh just buy her a lobster, she'll put out.


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    Paris: How do you make a Bajoran stew?
    Kims: I don't know?
    Paris: Tell her the Occupation was a myth.
     
  6. BirdInJetstream

    BirdInJetstream Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Jetstream
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    Tuvok: "Fascinating! I already tried 47 different algorithms to solve the problem. None of them were successful. How did you do it?"
    Janeway: "See that little switch? I had Torres install it before your shift started. Press it 5 seconds, shut down, reboot..."
     
  7. ncc71877

    ncc71877 Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Texas Panhandle of Earth 2
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    Seven: "With all respect to the Commander, I don't see how getting high and trying to talk to an imaginary goat will solve anything."

    ncc71877:evil:
     
  8. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Tom: So bypassing the gel packs would be a shortcut to-
    Kim: Mushrooms!

    ;)
     
  9. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Janeway: Just do me a favor, let Chakotay work out of here for awhile. I need the command area to myself for awhile. (under her breath) Jerk keeps using MY side of the console.


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    Seven: Computations are complete, Captain. It is mathematically impossible that Ensign Kim will ever make Lieutenant.

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    Paris: Why did you make her cry? She looks up to you.

    Seven: I simply informed her that her Flotter holoprograms are infantile and that they will inevitably lead to her becoming an individual with less intelligence and reduced chances of a prosperous future.

    Naomi: (tears)

    Paris: Note to self: Never let Seven Babysit when B'Elanna and I have a baby.

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    Seven: ... And then I told Lieutenant Torres that it was "A good day to finally become a competent Engineer."


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    Paris: Ah, man. Now the service here is worse than the food!

    Kim: Impossible.
     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Toms: After we put Naomi to bed I can show you my holoprogram "Fast & Furious 6 volume 392."
    Sevs: Is that the one with the Vulcan Rock?
    Toms: No you're thinking of 6 volume 287. This one has the original Rock.


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    Tommy: How do you make a Talaxian ale?
    Kimmy: I don't know?
    Tommy: Get his Ocampan girlfriend to dump him.
     
  11. Bry_Sinclair

    Bry_Sinclair Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Janeway: We've got to find a way to get around these AOTW!
    Tuvok: I am running a full tactical analysis, Captain. It will take some time though.
    Chakotay: I have an idea--
    Janeway: Quiet you! You know what happens when you make fun of my latest hair do. Now stand in the corner and think about what you said!

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    Janeway: It's so nice to have this place to ourselves, Seven.
    Chakotay: Um, hello.
    Janeway: Oh, Commander. I never noticed you.
    Chakotay: I'm standing right next to Seven!
    Janeway: You were in her shadow.
    Kim: Hi.
    Janeway: What was that?

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    Paris: See I told you I was the resident ladies man. See how easily I pick up chicks.

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    Chakotay: So ladies, why don't you slip out of those restrictive outfits and rub each other down with this baby oil.
    Janeway: Chakotay, we're in the cargo bay not the holodeck.
    Chakotay: I know.

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    Paris: Quick Harry, for once Seven isn't hogging the scene, it's your turn to shine!
    Kim: Umm...huh? Do what now?
    Paris: [groans] Well I tried.
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    SEVEN: I wont be going to the ship's dance with either of you!

    ...or you Harry!!!


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    PARIS: If I ever find out who covered my uniform with superglue!!
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Tom-Ass: How do you make a Vulcan meatloaf?
    Harr: I don't know?
    Tom-Ass: Don't bother. It's already loafing.
     
  14. FFunctionalData

    FFunctionalData Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Seven of 9: We are experiencing a malfunction in the Warp Core

    B'Elanna: I have run every diagnostic and can not find the problem

    Chakotay: Captain I believe if I go on a vision quest i can find out what is wrong let me get my..

    Captain Janeway: Chakotay not every problem we encounter can be solved with a vision quest.
     
  15. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Harry: ...and I made it to second base with the Skarri girl we met at the pub last night!

    Tom: Handshakes aren't second base

    Harry: Damn it!
     
  16. TommyR01D

    TommyR01D Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Chakotay: Seven, you really used to do this for a live-urrggh!

    Harry: What the hell even is that?!

    Chakotay: Are you going to-

    Harry: Oh my god! It's going a ove-gaaah!

    Chakotay: How did you get him to volunteer for that?!

    Both: No, no [cringe and look away].

    Janeway: Meet me in the Ready Room at 0200 hours, I need to, erm, discuss this in greater detail [runs off].
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Chak: Snake your drain?
    Har: Clean your pipes?
    Jane: Fix your screen door?
    ...
    Jane: What are you guys talking about anyway?
     
  18. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    A new contest will be up by tomorrow.
     
  19. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Right yesterday was rather busy what with a day out and all, plus since I'm running two caption contests at the same time, I'm going to put up the DS9 contest today and the next VOY contest tomorrow.

    I have a thing for DS9 you see and though I could do put up both contests today it is time-consuming and I would spend some of that time fan-fic writing.
     
  20. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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