Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Discussion in 'TV & Media' started by Dusty Ayres, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. Dusty Ayres

    Dusty Ayres Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2004
    Location:
    ANS Yamato, Sector 5, Sol System
    Of special interest to Trekkers:


    • STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE: Megalomaniac can’t let go of past glory, drives successor to suicide.
    • STAR TREK III: Military officers steal vessel and destroy it to eliminate a handful of enemies while engaged on an extremely vague rescue mission.
    • STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
    • STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
    Browncoats, watch out:

    FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.

    SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.

    Uncomfortable Plot Summaries
     
  2. DevilEyes

    DevilEyes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Location:
    basking in the warmth of the Fire Caves
    You forgot to mention:

    STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.

    And in the comments:

    Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan:
    Government stooge kills senior citizen after forcing him to move and then demolishing his new home.

    My favorites from the list are:


    DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
    DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women. :lol:
    GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
    GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
    LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
    RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
    SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.
    STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
    STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
    STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.

    I like the way it makes those plots look disturbing, while making really the plots of really disturbing movies look so innocuous and family-friendly (Deliverance, Lolita, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me). And the summary of Se7en is so wrong it makes you laugh and feel guilty about it. :eek: :rommie:

    However, I have to say that some summaries are quite accurate in fact and pretty much pinpoint the real idea of the movie, whether the people who came out with it realize it or not (The X-Men, Vertigo).
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2009
  3. Temis the Vorta

    Temis the Vorta Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Location:
    Tatoinne
    :rommie::rommie::rommie:

    :rommie::rommie::rommie::rommie:

    OOOUCH! :(

    And Mal & Zoe were among my favorite character pairs....

    No Star Wars prequels? They are the most sitting of sitting ducks!

    The Phantom Menace:
    Unsupervised tot wreaks havok.

    Attack of the Clones: Attempting to impress hot chick, horny adolescent recites horrendous dialogue and undermines democracy.

    Revenge of the Sith:
    Still horny, aforementioned adolescent destroys democracy, fights mentor, gets legs burned off, and errr destroys fond memories of millions of childhoods.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2009
  4. DevilEyes

    DevilEyes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Location:
    basking in the warmth of the Fire Caves
    They have the same summary for Terminator and Rosemary's Baby. And one of the commentators has the same summary for the New Testament. :rommie:

    another good one from one of the comments:

    TERMINATOR 2: An escaped mental patient, a steroid-addled sociopath and a juvenile delinquent cause hundreds of millions of dollars worth of property damage, set scientific research back 30 years.
     
  5. Temis the Vorta

    Temis the Vorta Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Location:
    Tatoinne
    Or,

    Revenge of the Sith
    : Democracy sucks.
     
  6. Dusty Ayres

    Dusty Ayres Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2004
    Location:
    ANS Yamato, Sector 5, Sol System
    Now I know and understand (though I still don't agree with) that analysis of Firefly by that Aussie feminist that accused Joss Whedon of rape.
     
  7. Temis the Vorta

    Temis the Vorta Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Location:
    Tatoinne

    Dollhouse
    is far more damning of the guy's mentality. Zoe & Mal was pretty charming, really.
     
  8. Lindley

    Lindley Moderator with a Soul Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2001
    Location:
    Bonney Lake, WA
    The people running the Dollhouse may be the protagonists, but don't be fooled into thinking they're supposed to be the good guys.

    Not that there's any real distinction between right and wrong on the series from a storytelling perspective. It's mostly just examining a "what if this technology existed" scenario from as many angles as possible.

    It starts with prostitution, moves on to super-soldiers, then immortality, and finally.....wholesale destruction of civilization.

    "A brothel!? You're telling me that the tech that punt-kicked the ass of the human race started out as a way to make a more convincing hooker?"

    "They really thought they were helping, huh? Giving people what they needed. Is this what we needed?"
    "No. Kids playing with matches...and they burnt the house down."
    -Dollhouse: Epitaph One
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2009
  9. auntiehill

    auntiehill Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2006
    Location:
    Hillsville
    Well, yeah, I guess that's pretty much it. :lol:

    But Avon was a really cool terrorist.
     
  10. Rii

    Rii Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Location:
    Adelaide
    :lol:

    It's not on the list, but the description of The Thin Red Line as "a bunch of first-year philosophy students invade Guadalcanal" has always amused me.
     
  11. The Borgified Corpse

    The Borgified Corpse Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2000
    Location:
    Ouch! Forgotten already? You were just down ther
    In some ways, I think this may be a more accurate summary of Alien 3 or Alien Resurrection.
     
  12. The Borgified Corpse

    The Borgified Corpse Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2000
    Location:
    Ouch! Forgotten already? You were just down ther
    A few of my other favorites:

     
  13. Zulu Romeo

    Zulu Romeo World Famous Starship Captain Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2004
    :guffaw: So true.
     
  14. Aragorn

    Aragorn Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2002
    Should we start making our own?

    COLLATERAL: White business man from out-of-town killed on subway by black man.

    ENEMY OF THE STATE: Black guy is kept down by the man.

    I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER: Big breasts cause fisherman to go psycho.

    RUSH HOUR: Racists tolerated in the workplace because they're not white.

    TITANIC: Rich British brat refuses to share flotation device with poor American guy, lets him drown instead.

    TWISTER: Self-absorbed ex-couple fall back in love with each other while those less fortunate around them lose everything and suffer greatly.

    UNDERWORLD: Vampires would rather run around pretending like they're inside The Matrix than do actual vampire stuff.

    THE USUAL SUSPECTS: Criminal escapes by lying to cops.
     
  15. Ben Sisko3

    Ben Sisko3 Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2001
    Location:
    Heavenside
    Here are some additions that could work. Beware spoilers!

    District 9 - White government worker supports campaign to return illegal immigrants to their home after torturing many of them and killing several of their children.

    Iron Man - Critically wounded philanderer/alcoholic/weapons manufacturer has epiphany, stops selling weapons, becomes one.

    Frost/Nixon - Foppish Brit embarrasses former American leader on international television, is hailed as person of high moral standing.

    The Incredible Hulk - Split personality causes terrible problems for a scientist, his loved ones, the US military and private property.

    Carnivale - Filthy transient insurgent and allies in caravan attempt to murder an extremely religious and important western leader because God told them to. They fail.

    Y: The Last Man - Man, searching for his girlfriend in a post-apocalyptic world for five years, only cheats on her a few times.

    A Boy and His Dog - After beating her small-town family and friends violently after being politely invited into their home, a young rapist forces himself upon and murders a woman, then feeds her to his "talking dog".

    Transmetropolitan - Renegade chain-smoking journalist has unhealthy obsession with politicians' bowel movements.

    The Truman Show - Ignorant, ungrateful brat walks out on supportive father figure and community without so much as a "thank you" simply because he's tired of living at home.

    The Prisoner - A man learns to lovingly accept conformity through his increasingly unacceptable individuality.

    Farscape - Illegal immigrant murders a soldier, teams up with convicted felons and attempts to bring down the political structure of his new home.

    THX 1138 - Man escapes confining totalitarian society, presumably dies of starvation or sunstroke.

    The Night of the Hunter - Young children, unable to accept their new stepfather, run away despite his best efforts to get them to acclimate to their new lives.

    Network - Newsman who threatens public suicide receives public execution.

    Casablanca - Bartender gives up the chance to spend the rest of his days with an ex-girlfriend, heads off to a foreign country to live with another man.

    Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid - Bolivian army swiftly deals with two insurgents.

    Being There - Mentally deficient reincarnation of Christ selected by Illuminati to become next American President.

    Primer - Two scientists team up to give the audience a headache.

    Kings - Monarch turns his back on his god, wonders why bad things happen to him, attempts to repress his divinely-selected competition.

    Supernatural - Man and young girl spend years attempting to release their father from prison after he is jailed on false charges. Before, during and after this, they are repeatedly confronted by two brothers who really like shooting and stabbing them.

    Children of Men - Babies stop wars for at least 15 seconds.

    Animal Man - Author convinces main character "it was all a dream." It was.

    Lost Highway - Creepy videographer has the ability to bi-locate, laugh in stereo.

    Blade Runner - Secret policeman trained to pursue, murder minority group is tasked with homicide, has sex with robot.

    Star Wars - Son rejects father's legacy as a hero-turned-villain, decides to forge his own path of heroism, becomes skilled mass-murderer who resembles his father more and more on a daily basis. Later discovers he has a sibling he never knew he had who has similar abilities, and together the two team up with robots, aliens and humans to take down an evil empire.

    Invincible - Son rejects father's legacy as a hero-turned-villain, decides to forge his own path of heroism, becomes skilled mass-murderer who resembles his father more and more on a daily basis. Later discovers he has a sibling he never knew he had who has similar abilities, and together the two team up with robots, aliens and humans to take down an evil empire.

    Wonder Woman - Foreign diplomat attempts to be taken seriously on matters of huge importance by the nations of the world while only wearing a bathing suit.

    Rescue Me - Mentally ill alcoholic firefighter repeatedly fails to commit suicide after 9/11 and destroys the lives of those around him.

    Battlestar Galactica - Universe's oldest living man, his promiscuous wife and their three friends create an army of man-like machines for an armada of silent killers, hope for the best, and are murdered for their troubles.
    OR
    Battlestar Galactica - Self-involved scientist's libido leads to the creation of the human race as we know it. You're welcome.

    The Mist - After the military causes the accidental deaths of untold innocents, a woman in a small town starts a Christian revival camp that grows rapidly.

    The Essex County Trilogy - Six Degrees of Canadian Bacon.

    Helter Skelter - Hippie leader arrested, convicted on charges of impersonating a deity.

    King Lear - Dying, crazy leader takes all his advice from a peppy lunatic.

    Henry V - Believing he will be welcomed with open arms and his men greeted as liberators, the son of a nation's former leader launches an invasion of a much weaker nation in his father's name.

    Hung - The Punisher slays the wicked with his colossal artillery.

    Civil War (Marvel Comics) - The Military Industrial Complex attempts to arrest the symbol of the United States before passing the proper legislation. An Aryan kills a giant black man.

    Children of the Atom - Superpowered minority group looked upon with fear, disgust, concern and suspicion.

    X-Men - Superpowered minority group looked upon with fear, disgust, concern and suspicion.

    Rising Stars - Superpowered minority group looked upon with fear, disgust, concern and suspicion.

    The 4400 - Superpowered minority group looked upon with fear, disgust, concern and suspicion.

    Heroes - Superpowered minority group looked upon with fear, disgust, concern and suspicion.

    Lost - Ex-monk and former soldier turned mentally-disturbed alcoholic time traveling Scotsman crashes an airplane and ruins the lives of all aboard, but they are able to forgive him on account of how damn lovable he is

    Prison Break - Convicted attempted bank robber tries to free assassin, pedophile, Mafioso from jail; hilarity ensues.

    Promethea - A young woman steps through the looking glass of reality and her life is radically altered by what she sees and learns there, much of which serves as ironic reflections of her own world.

    The Lady Vanishes - A mysteriously nigh-indestructible senior citizen routinely evades capture, torture, murder with ease.

    Secret Invasion - Angry minority group launches attack on New York City in the name of God after activating several sleeper agents who have been hiding in plain sight for years.

    Smallville - See Peter Pan.

    Oz - After ingesting too many intoxicants, a down-to-earth audience surrogate is whisked away to the wondrous Emerald City, which features warped versions of friends, family and acquaintances from his home life, and encounters several obstacles -- attempted murder, kidnapping and persecution -- in an attempt to return home.

    South Park - A young boy in a small mountain town possesses the mysterious ability to frequently resurrect himself, seemingly through sheer force of will.

    Arlington Road - A traumatized college professor begins stalking his neighbors and interfering in their lives to the point where his behavior becomes erratic and unpredictable, leading those close to him to wonder if he's gone crazy with survivor's guilt.

    The Avengers - A 90-year-old steroid junkie, an alcoholic philandering billionaire, a schizophrenic deity, a wifebeating scientist with personality disorders, his vertically-challenged wife, a homeless man, a cancer patient, several sideshow freaks and two incestuous European siblings are all that stand between the Earth and total destruction.

    Dr. Strangelove - In a time of global catastrophe, one British officer learns that committing crimes against a major soda conglomerate is immoral, no matter what's at stake.
     
  16. Kegg

    Kegg Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Location:
    Ireland.
    Dexter: Man with eccentric hobby wants to settle down.
     
  17. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2001
    Location:
    Kansas City
    Jack didn't drown, he died of exposure due to the 20-degree water he was in. ;)
     
  18. Ríu ríu chíu

    Ríu ríu chíu Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Mr. Laser Beam is in the visitor's bullpen
    Every Quentin Tarantino movie in existence: A bunch of people shoot each other while saying "Fuck". The end.
     
  19. Dusty Ayres

    Dusty Ayres Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2004
    Location:
    ANS Yamato, Sector 5, Sol System
    That describes Dune & Dune Messiah more than it does Star Wars.
     
  20. AdmiralGarak

    AdmiralGarak Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Location:
    TrekBBS, apparently
    Star Trek: Hard-working man of mixed race perseveres in the face of his coworkers' bigotry and mocking.

    The Next Generation: Frenchman embarassed by his heritage fakes a British accent and clings to stereotypical British hobbies to fit in.

    Deep Space Nine: Mentally unstable sci-fi writer inserts a messianic Mary Sue into Star Trek.

    Voyager: Woman starship captain wrecks ship and strands crew moments after leaving space dock. Immediately turns to male starship captain for assistance.