Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Rush Limborg, Mar 3, 2009.
*10,000 Riverdancing Borg beam aboard your ship*
Gah, first the Rick rolling now the river dancing drones. Will Cardassia's trials never cease?
Very well, break out the beatboxing Remans!
As duly assigned representative of the Federation, it is my responsibility to point out that river-dancing troops were banned by the 5th Khitomer Accords.
The Borg would do well not to threaten Cardassia with mere riverdance. We have weapons at our disposal as well, you understand. Ambassador Herkimer may be getting jitty with it, but I might remind the ambassador that we are familiar with your history as much as you are. Perhaps the Borg might respond better to a taste of their own medicine?
(to my junior science officer) Gil, access our library of Federation intelligence. Prepare an immediate broadcast to all Borg within range. I assume you are aware of which...
Gil: Yes, Gul. Broadcast will commence shortly. Attention crew of the Aman Evek: All Cardassian personnel will don protective ear wear immediately. Beginning transmission...
(ship's speakers immediately fill with the most foul form of torture ever devised even by the Federation)
Borg drones: CANNOT COMPUTE. COLLECTIVE CANNOT WITHSTAND BALLAD OF BILBO BAGGINS. SHUTDOWN SHUTDOWN SHUTDOWN (all drones immediately collapse)
Indeed, one need only look at the pervasive abuse of so-called "rights" to justify whatever sordid deeds the individual might have in mind. Societies with such mindsets, though they may claim these rights themselves ARE the framework, inevitably find that they are left without a leg to stand on should they attempt to suggest such "radical" ideas as standards, right, and wrong. This unequivocally demonstrates the superiority of the idea of absolute limitations on the individual. This is what gives the Obsidian Order its reason to exist.
I don't agree with you, but I think you're absolutley right.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to board the Starfleet ship which isn't a warship obviously and talk to my military advisor who isn't military because the Federation doesn't have a military.
Ambassador Jitty, I have arrived with the relief task force that you asked for to help enact the Starfleet policy of providing other sovereignties education as to the benefits and methodology of more pluralistic and open societies, through creation of direct examples of similar Federation case studies within the localities of other soveriengties over the current administrative authorities that lack such qualities.
Of course, just like we carried out policing actions on Bajor....
Please tell the person who isn't what he should be, that Cardassia extends the hand of friendship to the non-military Starfleet and ask if they would like to join us in ..peacekeeping operations againist the Rickrollers and their disgusting allies?
Furthermore I hereby issue commendations to the vailant crew of the Aman Evek for their bravery and self sacrifice in halting the Borg menace under the inspired leadership of Gul...no, JaGul Laser Bream.
Starfleet policy is open to the possibility of assisting other soverign nations in the pursuit of reestablishing and reminding the importance of abiding by the principles of respecting sentienty* and interstellar decency, and if approved by the Federation Council, such punitive measures against parties that don't respect such concepts are authorised, such as reeducation, removal from contact with affected bystanders and whatever else is deemed necessary by the mandate of those affected.
*Starfleet Vocabulary Guidelines states that the word 'humanity' is discriminatory to those beings whose species are not originally descended from Terra, aka Sol III, and thus sentienty must be used in all relevant contexts.
Good, just leave the reeducation to us, we have more...experience in these matters.
I look forward to our long and fruitful alliance.
The Federation and Starfleet welcome any efforts towards collaborative efforts with our Cardassian neighbours, towards any goal of galactic stability and peace. These circumstances present an opportunity to learn from each other, in exchanges of culture, philosophy and methodology.
As a token representation of our eagerness towards a cultural exchange, we present a selection of culinary goods from throughout the Federation, among which our chief export among them, known in Federation Standard as root beer.
May our endeavour prove fruitful and productive.
In return the Cardassian Union is pleased to offer to our Federation allies a collection of our finest Kanars and cuisine from across our territory. We also present to you a rare first edition of The Never ending sacrifice and the unabridged works of illoa Prim.
We look forward with great anticipation to our new friendship.
Y'know, I myself have tried my hand at a Borg Gangsta Rap, some time ago.
Oh, and on the "communism" subject, I would think the "Ideal" commusist society would best be represented by the Borg. No individuality, no "greed", no "selfishness", all working in collective service for The Common Good--to coin a phrase, "From Each According To His Ability, Blah, Blah, Blah...."
PROLETARIANS OF THE UNIVERSE UNITE!
Now...back on topic, So far, it seems like unusualsuspex wrote my favorite so far:
Pretty good. It's not a parody, and it seems like it actually fits with the melody!
My compliments, cadet!
Hey--on the subject of using the Hymn Of The Soviet Union as a ref for the Cardassian Union's anthem, anyone consider using The Internationale for something?
Hmm...considering the actual lyrics, the Bajorans come to mind. Just take out the references to communism and the Proletariat, and...
Stand uuuuuuuuuuup, ye victims of oppreeeeeeeeeession--
For the ty-rants--fear--your--might....
Cling nooooooooot, so hard to your posseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesions--
FOR YOU HAVE NOUGHT, IF YOU HAVE NO RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!
And so on....
Be careful...their "friendship" only lasts as long as they consider it politically expedient, and you are approved of in their polls. And just wait until first blood is spilled: no matter how "righteous" they may say the cause is at the beginning, they have no ability to see it through to the bitter end, no stomach whatsoever.
Remind me.... Have the Cardassians ever fought a war with anyone who didn't kick their ass? Has the Federation ever actually lost a war against the Cardassian Union? 'Cause I don't think it has.
^ The Federation/Cardassian war was a decades long skirmish over border territories and there was no clear cut victory.
The Klingons launched a cowardly and unprovoked attack on a reforming Cardassian Union and... actually I've done this rant already. So I'll move on to the substance of NG's post.
What is being argued here is that the Federation lacks the necessary...willpower to make the hard choices for example it was easier for the UFP to condemn the actions of the KE than it was to forcefully stop their aggression (and since the Klingons turned on the Feds anyway it was an unforgivable lapse on Starfleets part). So there maybe some serious concerns over the Federation's staying power in the minds of some of her allies/neighbors.
The devestation of Cardassia and the destruction of Romulus are proof positive that the Federation is more than content to allow rival powers that they have in the past grappled with - to get squished. For crying out loud - the Romulans had to appeal to one of the Federation's members to even get help from them. The Cardassians had to help themselves, and that got them a planet which now looks like one of those burnt unpopped kernels in a popcorn bag.
You want to talk about lack of will? Let's talk Borg. If I were the Federation president, I would have ordered Picard to shove Data's impossible shape up Hugh's ass because he's endangering trillions, maybe quadrillions of lives.
Does being dangerously negligent give the Federation cheap sexual thrills or something? I don't get it.
I think Sisko explained this issue pretty well in "The Maquis, Part I", with his "Saint in Paradise" speach....
The "Washington Elitists" (or, as I'm sure they'd say in the future, the Frisco Elitists) have never tasted the hard life. They're so used to Earth being a paradise, that they basically have an overdeveloped sense of tranquility. It's disgusting.
It's made'm naive...and sloppy!
The idea of a patriotic interstellar empire is pretty stupid. That kind of chauvinism would be extinguished by force as a matter of survival by whatever species the fools came in contact with.
Wow. That you actually took it seriously, the idea I suggested in jest that patriotism--that is, pride in your country--is automatically dangerous...it would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. If you really think that all pride automatically becomes chauvinism/Nazism...all I can say is...wow. That really is unfortunate if you yourself are so incapable of drawing the line that you don't believe anyone else can.
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