TOS Caption Contest #282: Love Connection

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Quebec City
    [​IMG]
    SCOTT:...and I programmed her to not being seduced by any captains or gods.
    KIRK: Didn't you forget I'm the best at screwing androids?
     
  2. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
    [​IMG]

    Chekov: The Russians invented…I mean colonized this place

    Ensign: I thought no Humans had visited this place...
     
  3. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Walking distance from Starfleet HQ
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    LENORE: Dress? What dress?


    [​IMG]

    SCOTTY: Ah don't believe it! She's making the pressure chamber act like a cryotube!
    MIRA: Nice way to call me "frigid", "Limpy".


    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: I love you. I could never admit it before!
    KIRK: (over communicator) Spock! And I...loveyoutoo!


    [​IMG]

    LANDON: The sky...it's like I could reach out and touch it.
    CHEKOV: Turn around and valk 30 feet, and you vill!


    [​IMG]

    NATRIA: Touch my bustier again and I'll bustier more than your nose!
     
  4. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    LEILA: SPOCK! KISS MY HOT LIPS!
    EVERYBODY ON THE BRIDGE: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    UHURA: Oh no he didn't!
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Natira: Sorry, Doctor, size does matter.
    McCoy: Size matters - but scale is relative. Like dropping a hyperspanner down a Jefferies tube.
     
  7. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    Thanks for the win!



    [​IMG]

    Lenore: "Why Captain, it's nice of you to say. I get all of my furs at H. Mudd and Associates. Incidentally, where did you get your toupee, it looks so natural?"
    Kirk: "H. Mudd and Associates..."

    [​IMG]

    Scott: "I invented it myself sair, a microwave for frigid women."
    Kirk: "Officer thinking, Mr Scott."

    [​IMG]

    Kirk over communicator: "Mr Spock. Mr Spock! Are you okay down there. Do you need help?"
    Spock: "Not likely, Captain. The two of us are gonna have a threesome if you know what I mean."
    Leila: "Ooh, I love Vulcans!"

    [​IMG]

    Chekov: "How about a little roleplay?"
    Landon: "Sure, I'll be any woman in the universe... and you be Geordi LaForge."
    Chekov: "Aw crap!"

    [​IMG]

    Natira: "You know, for a Doctor specialising in xenobiology, I didn't expect you to be that shocked at the revelation that Yonadan women have the penises in the species."
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    More bikini wax, Mister Scott.
    I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain! She cannae take any more!


    [​IMG]

    Chekov: Be careful vith that phaser.
    Landon: I have the right to bear arms.
    Chekov: In Soviet Russia, the bear has right to your arms!
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Jan 24, 2002
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Heh! That would be funny as hell! But...no...no, we'd better not."


    [​IMG]

    Crewman by turbolift (thinking): "I so want to be a captain someday!"
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    KIRK: You got that on e-bay?

    SCOTTY: Aye,mint condition and still in the box!
     
  11. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Kirk: "You have the best legs on the ship."

    Crewman (softly): "Bitch."

    :)
     
  12. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Oct 26, 2012
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    Quebec City
    RODDENBERRY (OS): In fact, the extra was wearing a skant, but Shatner's belly totally obstructed the view.
     
  13. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Aug 20, 2009
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    T'Girl
    Crewman: "It's a dress damn you, a pretty dress!!!"

    (bursts into tears, runs off bridge)

    :)
     
  14. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    ALIEN: Greetings, Captain of the Enterprise. I am Krath, the King of my world.
    KIRK: Wait, wait. King?
    ALIEN: And if I must say, you are a very beautiful woman. Your eyes are like the stars.

    [​IMG]

    SCOTTY: I, umm...signed for your delivery, captain. One hyper-realistic female doll.
    KIRK: One word of this to the rest of the crew and I'll replace you with a British comedy actor.

    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: Judging by the concentration of pheremones you are currently releasing, the logical course of action would be to get it on.

    [​IMG]

    CHEKOV: I brought wodka.
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    KALOMI: It's my husband. I'll have to take it.

    SPOCK: Wait... your what?
     
  16. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Quebec City
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    OLD KIRK: NO JIM! STOP THAT AND SEND HER RIGHT NOW TO THE BRIG, OTHERWISE A JEALOUS JANICE RAND WILL ASK FOR A TRANSFER!
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Landon: Dandle in the bramble?
    Chekov: Russian inwention.
    Landon: Fondle in the fern?
    Chekov: Russian inwention.
    Landon: Twiddle in the dingle?
    Chekov: Russian inw - no, that vun vas Wulcan. Sickos.
    Landon: Prickle in the thistle?
    Chekov: Russian inwention....
     
  18. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

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    Feb 12, 2011
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    "Who are you?"
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    Spock: Now that I've finally dumped T'Pring, we can be together!

    *beep beep*

    Leila: I have to take this.

    Male Voice: Honey, I have to stay late. Can you pick up the kids at karate?
     
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Leila: Did you ever stop the planetkiller?
    Spock: No, Miley Cyrus's sexual innuendo eventually grew to eat suns, too.
    Leila: Check out her new outfit.
    Spock: It would appear that light can still escape the event horizon in her pants.
     
  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
    [​IMG]

    LENORE: Nice meeting you Jim, but my date's here and I have to go.
     

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