TOS Caption Contest #282: Love Connection

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    And now, we shall bring forth winners of a caption contest!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Identified Flying Object" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Difficult Diagnosis" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Leslie Nielsen" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Credentials Evaluation" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Repair procedure" award, going to:

    Our Photoshop award, goes to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    And now, our Valentines (or Singles Awareness Day)Themed contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Kirk:(thinking) I really hope she doesn't turn out to be a homicidal maniac.

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    Scotty: I'm so in love with her that I finally changed the laws of physics!

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    Kirk: (over comm) ...And so in conclusion Mister Spock, I really think that Ms. Kalomi is very attracted to me. What do you think?

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    Chekov: I'm glad we could find the time to sneak away together, since the Enterprise is slowly being pulled into the atmosphere of this planet.

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    Natira: Wait, you're only marrying me because you're going to die?
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan begins playing in the background.

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    KALOMI: Hold on while I post this selfie to Spacebook

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    NATIRA: A headache? That's my line!

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    SCOTTY: See, I told you, the cryochambers we jacked from the Botany Bay would come in handy!

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    CHEKOV: You know the Russian saying "Red sky at night, sailors delight"?

    LANDON: Do you know the American saying "Keep it in your pants or I'll cut it off?
     
  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Lenore: "Alright, if you insist. I'll go change into something that smells a little less like musk."


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    Scotty: "Aye, she's a bonnie lass, alright! She's even consented to lettin' me put her into suspended animation to accommodate my necrophilia fetish! See? Ye never know unless ye ask!"


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    Spock: "Yes, Spocky-wocky wuvs his widdle ooche-woochie coochie-coo! Yes, him does... Wait! Are you broadcasting this over the ship's comm system?!!"


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    Landon: "Have you given any thought at all to what would happen if the captain were to come along and catch us in flagrante delicto?"
    Chekov: "I'm twenty-two years old! I don't think anywhere near that far ahead!"


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    McCoy: "No, this is wrong! I should be trying to save my friends' lives! Not in here consorting with you!"
    Natira: "When was the last time you saved your friends' lives?"
    McCoy: "Oh...a few weeks ago."
    Natire: "And when was the last time you had sex?"
    McCoy: "...You make a very good point."
     
  5. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    LANDON: Pav, are you high?
    CHEKOV: If I'm high? Of course I'm high? All those Cossacks captionners vill me vrite me as a LaForge, not as a Kirk.

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    SPOCK: OUCH! MY NOSE!
     
  6. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Leila: Oh, Spock, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like the NSA would be eavesdropping on my iPhone...oh, wait...

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    Natira: Leonard, I'm sorry I almost poked your eye out. I should have told you that all women on Yonada wear steel tipped bras.
     
  7. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    "Who are you?"
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Natira: Don't worry, Leonard, it happens to a lot of men the first time.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    McCoy: "I'm sorry, Natira, but I just can't. That little Orion girl on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet has ruined me for all other women."
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2014
  9. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Natira: The Oracle likes to watch.

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    Landon: Pavel, what's this "Russian inwention" that you want to introduce me to?

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    Lenore: I know what you're thinking, Jim. There's only one way to find out! :devil:
     
  10. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    "Who are you?"
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    Kirk: Scotty, you old space dog. I didn't know you saved Sargon's android blueprints!

    Scotty: It's a one of a kind. And you wouldna believe who helped me with the programming. It was Palamas. She volunteered. Someone named Areel convinced her it was for the good of the service.

    Kirk: Wait, Areel?
     
  11. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
    Thanks for the win

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    NATIRA: Awww...Leonard, I'm so sorry...I swear I will no more try to talk with you about the fact you didn't see your daughter for a while...neither about the fact they found a cure two days after you pulled the plug on your father...
     
  12. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    McCoy: "I'm sorry, Natira, I just can't. I'm afraid of entering into another relationship. My ex-wife divorced me and took everything except my bones. That's why they call me 'Bones.'"
    Natira: "I thought it was short for 'sawbones.'"
    McCoy: "Bah! Kids today don't have any idea what a 'sawbones' is."
     
  13. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    LANDON: Pavel, who were the last yeoman and navigator to have been sent alone on a strange planet?
    CHEKOV: Janice Rand and Kewin Riley, vhy are you asking that?
     
  14. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Location:
    T'Girl
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    Chekov:
    "I ding we should make wove.
    Landon: "Pavel, give me one reason why?"
    Chekov: "Vcouse, you are vearing red, dis is a wanding party, and you vill be dead by morning.
    Landon: "I say one reason."

    :)
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Landon: "Looks like we're stranded on this uninhabited, Eden-like planet forever, Pavel. That being the case, I've never much liked the name 'Martha.' Call me by my middle name, 'Eve.'"
    Chekov: "Alright, and you can call me by my middle name, 'Adamovitch.' 'Adam' for short."

    Lieutenant Leslie
    wakes from his dream and starts frantically scribbling notes for his next fanfic.


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    McCoy: "I'm sorry, Natira, I just can't. Tonya Barrows and I are going steady."


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    Kirk (frowning): "Hey, is that real fur?"
    Lenore: "Yes. It's dyed tribble fur."
    Kirk (smiles): "Ah! Not an endangered species then!"
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Here to solve a mystery.
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    Kirk: If you need me I'll be up here with the coxswain.
    Lenore: The guy who blows the whistle?
    Kirk: No, that's the boatswain.
    Lenore: Oh, the guy who steers the ship.
    Kirk: No, that's a helmsman.
    Lenore: Oh, the one who lades the cargo.
    Kirk: Now that one is a stevedore.
    Lenore: Not the steersman, then.
    Kirk: Actually, that's the coxswain.
    Lenore: Oh here we go again!
    Kirk: I'll stick any complaints into my duty log.
    Lenore: That's what my last captain said before he disembarked his seamen.
    Coxswain: I thank you.
     
  17. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Lenore: "I'm so glad you like this dress! My father hates it! He doesn't like me wearing anything that requires double-sided sticky-tape."
     
  18. Sir Rhosis

    Sir Rhosis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2001
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
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    Nimoy: Uh, did you say Bronson, uh... Ted Bronson?*

    Ireland: Charles.

    Nimoy: Oh, boy.

    *With a nod to RAH.
     
  19. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 20, 2005
    Location:
    Heart of Dixie
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    Scotty: Look, Jim! The ship can synthesize WOMEN!
     
  20. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
    Fixed that for ya. ;)
     

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