TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone, sorry for the long delay, lost track of how many weeks it had been, you know, several times. :cardie:


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Not the best crossover" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Strange New Worlds" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Internal Conflicts" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Mistaken Identity" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Sweet, Sweet Vengeance" Award, going to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners!

    And now, new contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Computer: Now arriving at Deck 5, Sickbay, Auxiliary control, Captain Kirk's quarters, Commander Spock's Quarters, Doctor McCoy's Quarters....

    McCoy: Would you just open the darn door already?!

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    Sulu: Reading space traffic ahead, Captain. I don't think we're going to make it to the dinner party at Starbase 4!

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    Chekov: C'mon spaceamazon, you said they would've been delivered by now...

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    Wesley: For the last time I have no relation to Lieutenant Commander Giotto!

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    Kirk: Well gentlemen, we have completed our holiday shopping.

    McCoy: When are we gonna do the wrapping?

    pause

    Kirk: Crap.
     
  3. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    a sonic shower
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Bones: "I'm all right, Jim. It's just that his driving always makes me queasy."


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    Kirk: "I'm all right, Bones. It's just that his driving always makes me queasy."


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    Chekov: "Keptin, ve have passed Blinky and are closing in on Clyde."


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    Wesley: "For crying out loud, Jim, don't your people know how to party? Half our bridge crew over here are drunker than a Denebian swamp weasel!"


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    Kirk: "Yes, gentlemen, I got a look in Uhura's diary."

    Bones: "Yes, and?"

    Spock: "I am, quite obviously, all ears."

    Kirk: "Spock, you get a mention on page 28. I'm pretty much everywhere. Bones, ... sorry."
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2013
  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Nimoy (sotto voce): "Hey! Noobies! Don't look at the camera!"
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WESLEY: Damn it, Kirk. I don't care how many women you jilt on your ship, but leave my crew women alone!
     
  6. FormerLurker

    FormerLurker Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 17, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: There was something more wrong with that breakfast than the bacon this morning.

    Spock: Indeed.


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    McCoy: You feeling all right?

    Kirk: I got gas, real bad.

    Sulu: Gas? Doesn't this ship use antimatter?


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    Chekov: I have found someplace to vent your gas, Keptin.


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    Commodore Wesley: My God, Kirk! A little warning next time! We were right next to that when it blew!


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    Kirk: Well, gentlemen, another mission successfully completed.

    McCoy: And no casualties. At least, not on our ship.
     
  7. CaptainBearclaw

    CaptainBearclaw Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2013
    Location:
    not valid
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    KIRK:You have the strangest of vacations, Mr. Sulu.
     
  8. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    a sonic shower
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    Sulu: "I don't understand it, sir. This scene isn't on the ViewMaster reel."

    Kirk: (thinking) "I should never have given him that thing..."
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SULU: I don't know, Captain. That kid looks a lot like you.

    MCCOY: I'll just head down to sickbay and warm up the genetic testing program.
     
  10. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Commodore Wesley: Jim! Help us! There's a virus infiltrating our environmental systems, it's making all the bridge crew do the tango!
     
  11. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    Walking distance from Starfleet HQ
    Thanks for the win!

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    BONES: Get your paws off me, Jim. Do I look like a Yeoman?


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    SULU: I wonder what that thing is.
    KIRK: If only there were some kind of magical device at hand which you could look into to get the answers.
    SULU: That would be awesome, right?


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    CHEKOV: The tractor beam is coupled to the main reactor in seven locations. A power loss at vun of the terminals vill allow the ship to leave.
    SCOTTY: Just which plans are you looking at, laddie?


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    WESLEY: Jim! Stop firing! I'll give you the damned tall chair back!


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    KIRK: So, any sign of my not-so-little black book?
    BONES: Nope.
    SPOCK: Actually...
    UHURA: Hush your mouth!
     
  12. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 20, 2005
    Location:
    Heart of Dixie
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    Sulu: Oh, my!
    Kirk: If he says that one more time --

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    Chekov: Almost there.....almost there...URA! Level 25!
    Kirk: If you're finished with your game, navigator, we have a ship to fly.
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SULU: From this angle we can see right up Apollo's skirt!
     
  14. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    a sonic shower
    UHURA: Doctor, am I seeing things or does he have an extra organ?
     
  15. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    SULU: You're all....welcome to...David Marcus 7th birthday...if you are his dad...don't send again...Harry Mudd or Cyrano Jones as clown.......move your ass...we are in this space station...just in front of you.
    BONES: Jim, I'm just a country doctor, but....
     
  16. Noname Given

    Noname Given Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 22, 2001
    Location:
    None Given
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    Commodore Wesley: "Dammit Jim! you guys totally side-swipped my port nacelle! Twenty-Third century political correctness aside, those Asian drivers are ALWAYS the same!"
     
  17. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    WESLEY: Jim, why the hell didn't you tell me about this virus? Don't you see my bridge officers currently doing anal toying?
     
  18. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    Walking distance from Starfleet HQ
    I'll take PC over race jokes any day.
     
  19. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    De: "Say, Bill, isn't that your Vette?"
     
  20. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
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    Spock: Jim, I do not believe your "Condescending Back Rub Kirk" meme will catch on.