TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Oct 28, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone, lets get to the winners!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Many Bothans were sent to the disintegration machines to gather this information" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "User Error" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Proper Analysis" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Diplomatic Incident waiting to happen" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "AKA: the Lets not try to kill the people around us section" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated! Congrats to our winners!

    And now, in honor of Halloween coming up this week, Trek's Halloween episode!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Kirk: What are they saying Lieutenant?

    Uhura: They say that we're 200 light years outside of their delivery area.

    Kirk: Options, Mister Spock?

    Spock: I am afraid we will be forced to eat frozen pizza for dinner tonight.

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    Kirk: Why can't we ever go anywhere nice?

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    Scotty: I know it was you who drank my Aldeberan Whiskey!


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    Shatner: So why are we calling McCoy "Doc" and not "Bones" this episode... oh, right.

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    Spock: Captain, when I said the shuttlecraft was right on top of us, I was not exaggerating.
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, Evil Lincoln!

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    Kirk: "Look on the bright side, Mr. Spock. If we'd ended up in here a few months earlier, it'd probably be pretty ripe in here."
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SPOCK: Why do I feel I'm in a Hair Club For Men commercial?

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    SHATNER: Jimmy. George. Let's not be hasty. I'm sure we can throw a few more lines your way

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    KIRK: Disconnected?

    UHURA: Sorry, that's what the recording said sir.

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    KIRK: I wish I had his metabolism

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    KIRK: That's the second biggest pussy I've ever seen.
     
  5. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
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    Right where I want to be
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    In the original timeline, Kirk took one look at the new "Lens Flare Generators" and had them ordered off the ship.

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    Kirk: I'd still hit that.
     
  6. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    "Who are you?"
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    Kirk: Bones?

    Spock: He's dead, Jim.
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Spock: That ship is swerving into our lane.
    Kirk: Um, HELLOOOO?!!!
    Uhura: Check out this motherf*cker.
    Spock: Fascinating.


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    Kirk: What is it Spock? A volcano? A lava flow?
    Spock: An al-anon meeting.
    Bones: Beam me up, Scotty.
    Kirk: Ha, catchy.


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    Kirk: You said there would be girls at your birthday party?
    Spock: This is a total sausage fest.
    Scotty: They'll be here.
    Bones: That's what you said last year.


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    Kirk: Come here often?
    Spock: Oh here we go.


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    Kirk: Why is that pizza on the roof?
    Walter White: I got high on my own supply.
    Spockface: Never get high on your own supply.
     
  8. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    Walking distance from Starfleet HQ
    Thanks for the win!

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    UHURA: I'm detecting a signal from the planet Preplanis.
    KIRK: On audio, Lieutenant.
    DR. SMITH'S VOICE: What "I" have done? Now you listen to me, you ungrateful wretch. You will erase that from your memory banks. He must never know we were responsible.
    KIRK: No intelligent life there.
    SPOCK: Indeed.


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    KIRK: Where's the candy? You said this planet was Halloween.
    SPOCK: The word was "harrowing".


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    KIRK: Okay, fine, you can wear a blue shirt when we meet the murderous natives. Now put the phaser away.

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    KIRK: I heard Droxine was thin, but really, Spock...


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    KIRK: Look at the size of that thing.
    SPOCK: The Great Bird of the Galaxy's droppings are, indeed, impressive.
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Scotty: "Just a moment! How do I know you're the real captain? Queen to queen's level 3!"
    Kirk: "Oh, Christ, not again."
    McCoy: "That encounter with those shapeshifters did a real mindf**k on him, Jim."
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    KIRK: There's a bunch of lights and scaffolding up there!
     
  11. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Shatner: "My God! Is that my Corvette suspended up there?!"
    Nimoy: "Payback's a bitch, Bill."
     
  12. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Oct 13, 2013
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    "Scotty ... Sulu ... listen to reason. Listen to me: STAR TREK's like a car, with me,
    your Captain, as the driver, with Spock and Bones in the front seat and you two as
    the backseat drivers! You should be thanking us - because this way, you at least
    have jobs! Nobody's going to want to watch the Scotty/Sulu Hour! Come on, fellas."
     
  13. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    "OK, Spock ... let us know when you've zipped your fly."
     
  14. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Right where I want to be
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    In this rare scene from the never-completed sequel to The Enemy Within, Kirk confronts his ego.
     
  15. Noname Given

    Noname Given Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 22, 2001
    Location:
    None Given
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    The atmosphere of planet Cannabis420 was having an intoxicating effect on the entire landing party. Kirk also had a major case of 'the munchies'.
     
  16. spockboy

    spockboy Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 25, 2005
    Location:
    Earth
    This isn't mine, but it's awesome...
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  17. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Thanks for the win!-Mistral
    Spock: "Captain, please don't fart again."
     
  18. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    a sonic shower
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    Spock: "Captain, did I hear the two of you speaking... Vulcan?"
    Kirk: "It's Pentecost, Spock."
     
  19. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Kirk: Poor soul. He died waiting for the next TOS caption contest.
     
  20. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    a sonic shower
    Spock: I don't suppose it has occurred to you, Captain, that we may soon be joining him?