TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Spock (to self): "Cheap bureaucrats! It's the effing 23rd Century, and they make me do my rounds with a pen and clipboard."
     
  2. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: It says here to try unplugging it and plugging it in again.

    STILES: (mumbling)Great advice, computer whiz.
     
  3. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "I'm thinking of an object in this room."

    Scotty: "Is it bigger than a breadbox?"

    Kirk: "What's a breadbox?"
     
  4. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "I'm thinking of an object in this room."

    Scotty: "Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?"

    Kirk: "All of the above."
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    Scotty: "Is it Yeoman Rand and her wig?"
     
  6. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Here I come, ready or not."

    Scotty: "Aye, Captain, you have to count to a hundred. You didna' give them time to hide."
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: Aw, come on! I've been looking for hours! Where is everbody?

    (Muted giggling)
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Alright, Mr. Spock, prepare to get underway as soon as repairs are completed. Of course, with that alcoholic chief engineer and lackadaisical crew we're stuck with, that probably won't be anytime soon... Oh, Christ. They're right behind me, aren't they."
     
  9. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: What do you mean, you're out of double cheeseburgers? What kind of fast food joint IS this?
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    KIRK:Damn it Spock, you said the Rec Deck was clothing optional!
     
  11. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Was that a Gorn??
    Scotty: No sir, that's the fasten seat belts sign.
    Kirk: How are you coming along on installing the seat belts Mister Scott?
    Scotty: Any day now, sir. Any day.
     
  12. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: Have fun kids, but not too much fun. It'd be crazy to try to raise children on a starship exploring deep space. Heh heh, just kidding.

    [​IMG]

    KIRK: Captain to Bridge. It's the 23rd century, why are we still communicating with the intercom from a 1990s apartment building?

    [​IMG]

    Kirk and Spock catch each others' eyes on the bridge, and think whistfully of what could have been, if only they weren't coworkers.

    [​IMG]

    UHURA: Aren't you scared?
    SULU: No.
    UHURA: Why?
    SULU: Kirk is about to talk the bad guy into blowing up his whole invasion fleet.
    (BOOM)
    UHURA: How the f*** does he do that?!

    [​IMG]

    A rare clip from the never-aired season three episode, 'Spock Does Inventory'.
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    "Hello, this is Carlton your doorman"
     
  14. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Spock: "You said you'd relieve me at 04:30 hours. It is not yet 04:30 hours. In all fairness, this chair is mine for another twenty-three minutes."
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: I thought you said you had no ambitions for command.

    SPOCK: I lied.

    KIRK: I thought Vulcans couldn't lie.

    SPOCK: Lied about that, too.
     
  16. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    In Diefenbaker's Nightmares
    [​IMG]

    Kirk (to Martine): So... what are you doing after the ceremony?

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: So you're telling me we can only get the party size in Hawaiian?

    Scott: Pineapple? Borgus frat!


    [​IMG]

    Spock: You are not getting the chair back, Captain. Please do not make me press this button labelled "trap door".

    [​IMG]

    Sulu (thinking): Uhura's really focused on her duties. I'm impressed. This cross-training program is working out really well. I think I'll recommend to the captain that she be promoted permanently to chief navigator.
    Uhura (thinking): How the hell do I turn off this damn starfield screensaver?!?

    [​IMG]

    Stiles: Sir, we're kind of busy here...
    Spock: Just a couple more, lieutenant. What about 8 down: seven letters, "a flower whose name was derived from a word meaning 'tobacco'"...
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    Crewman: I'll have an Altair sandwich with ham and cheese.
    Spock: One ham and cheese sandwich.
    Crewman: Ahem.
    Spock: Dye the ham green.

    [​IMG]

    Spock: I don't care if it's "bumming out the crew," the Carpenters are logical.
     
  18. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    a sonic shower
    Kirk: But Uhura just can't stand that one.

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ui1xZcFmI[/yt]
     
  19. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    Kirk pushes the button. Spock encounters the command chair's commode mode, with full suction.
     
  20. jazzstick

    jazzstick Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 10, 2009
    Location:
    The Darkside of The Moon
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: And now to send these two on a dangerious away mission to seal the deal!


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Scotty, is there a breeze in here?
    Scotty: No captain, you forgot your pants again.
    Kirk: That would explain why everyone is staring at me.


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Spock, get your skinny Vulcan butt out of my chair, you're messing up my ass groove!


    [​IMG]

    Sulu: She's pretty but she doesn't have a penis...

    [​IMG]

    Spocky: Excellent, the new recurits from White Guy 7 are doing well on their first day in engineering...