Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Jul 7, 2013.
KIRK: Syncing that shock collar to the clapper was a great idea, Spock.
Kirk: "So then Spock says, 'Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons.' ... Get it?"
Harry: "Laddie buck, you've finally done it. The Jokebot is destroyed."
Thanks for the tie, LeadHead!
McCoy: "I love these groovy Sixties mall furnishings."
Chekov: "It makes me vish ve could have a conwersation pit on the bridge."
Spock: (thinking) I'll just tell her my hand slipped.
All applauded the grisly spectacle as Chekov was hanged from a transparent aluminum fiber rope.
A veritable Billy Joel of the spacefaring set, Sulu was adept at handling the keyboard and harmonica at the same time.
Kirk: "We're all in the mood for a melody, Mr. Sulu."
Sulu: "Aye, sir."
Kirk: "I just settled up your bill with the Madam. Just one girl for the four of you?"
Scotty: "Actually, Captain, we were goin' to hire one girl each...until Lieutenant Uhura said she wanted one, too. Then the rest of us canceled ours and asked if we could just watch!"
Kirk: Everything on the bridge gets into the black box.
Uhura: Oh no he di'in't!
Captain's log: "Starfleet has gotten so cheap..."
Computer prompt: "How cheap has Starfleet gotten?"
Captain's log: "Ahem. As I was saying, Starfleet has gotten so cheap, it makes crew members get their dental x-rays while on duty."
Chekov: "See? You vere wery mistaken. Breakdancing is a waluable skill."
Kirk: "I've known hotheads, but this is ridiculous."
Kirk: "Still waiting for another caption?"
Spock: "It has been quite some time. And I might point out that I have, thus far, been given only two lousy lines for this particular scene."
ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR "I, MUDD" WHICH THE NBC STANDARDS AND PRACTICES DEPARTMENT REJECTED:
Spock: I knew that my promise to teach you all my seduction neck pinch would bring the captain running! But you're SOL, Chekov... no seduction for you until you make Lt JG!
Chekov: Who needs a seduction neck pinch anyvays? My sexy Bolshoy dancing will have all the androids falling all over me!
Spock: Hmmm... the seduction pinch worked on the Stella series; why isn't it working on this one? She should have been out of that cocktail dress five minutes ago.
Android: I am not programmed to respond in that area.
Kirk: Norman, since I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life... have I told you that I like a change of pace now and then? Now, how did that seduction neck pinch Spock taught me go again?
Norman: MUST INITIATE SELF DISTRUCT!
Chekov: Do the Mario!
Kirk: What happened?
Mudd: He tried to comprehend all the posts on the Trekbbs.
KIRK: Which one of you short sheeted my bed?
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