TOS Caption Contest #273: A Piece of the Caption

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, May 29, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone! Once again, I thank you for your patience with my delays recently. Lets get back up to speed!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Too close for comfort" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "But is it fatal?" Award, going to:
    Next, we have the "Internal monologue" Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "Embracing Technicality" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "If anybody needed to win one in a contest on this particular episode, it's him" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    Hopefully this will return to being an every other week contest now that things have calmed down. No promises, but I'll do my best.

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  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Kirk: Was the ship that dropped this off the USS Barnes and Noble?

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    Kirk: Maybe I'll call it Fizzbin.

    Spock: Keep working on it, Captain.

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    Spock: This is DJ Spock coming at you with the smooth jazz rhythms of KIOTA 96.6.

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    Kirk: Great office, Krako. Now get out.

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    Kirk: Whose got two thumbs and is feeling great? This guy!
     
  3. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    Walking distance from Starfleet HQ
    Thanks for the win!

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    BELA: That's THE book!
    KIRK: Chicago Mobs of the Twenties?
    SPOCK: Naw, the addresses of all my Molls!


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    BONES: I've never seen a place with so much porn!
    KIRK: XXX means booze, Bones.
    SPOCK: Even better.


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    SPOCK: Fortunately, I studied at the Sinatra school of cool.


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    KIRK: If yous implies I's wearin' lifts again, I'll have Spocko turn a heater on yaz.


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    KIRK: Ayyyyyy!
    BONES: Up your nose with a rubber hose.
    KIRK: Wrong show, Bones.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2013
  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Oxmyx: "Whaddya mean ya don't know what it is! It's a first edition of 'Who's Who on Sigma Iotia'! I'm in it!"


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    Kirk: "You know...you spend your whole life hearing stories about the fabulous casinos on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, and now that we're finally here... Oh well, I guess no place could really live up to that kind of hype."


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    McCoy (sighs): "No, Jim, no sign of any turkey neck yet."
    Kirk: "Thanks, Bones. Want me to check you?"
    McCoy: "No."
     
  5. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    a sonic shower
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    Bela: "What's all this 'weeeooooooo' stuff? It sounds like this: BANG! Haven't you played cops and robbers before?"



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    Spock: "Aaaaa-aahhhhhhhhh... bitter dregs."

    (offscreen) *Gonggggggggggggg!*



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    Kalo: "Awright, the ante is one hat. You in?"



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    Kirk: "You dirty rat!"

    Statue: *facepalm*



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    Shatner: "Sure I look like Redford. The chin, De, look at the chin."
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2013
  6. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    "Who are you?"
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    Okmyx: This? This is a first edition series bible! I paid a fortune for this thing!


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    Spock: I take it, then, that we are no longer in the mood to teach them 'strip poker'?

    Kirk: No. I'll have to think of something else....
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SPOCK: All I'm saying is that we could walk right out of here. They aren't the most attentive of guards.

    KIRK: I've got a better plan.

    SPOCK: Better than walking out?

    MCCOY: Quiet, Spock. Lets hear him out.
     
  8. Dale Sams

    Dale Sams Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2012
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    "As God is my witness, I thought sehlats could fly."
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Spock: "I am sorry, Mr. Gordon. I appreciate that your friends Ms. Arden and Dr. Zarkov are in grave danger as captives of this Emperor Ming, but our Prime Directive clearly states..."
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2013
  10. EnsignHarper

    EnsignHarper Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
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    Spock: Doctor...what exactly is meant by the term...'Baba Booey'?
     
  11. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
    Thanks for the PS win, LeadHead. :)

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    Bela: "Hey Kirk, pull my finger."
    Kirk: "You've... GOT to be kidding me."


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    Kirk: "Bones... you've gotta do something about this receding hairline."
    McCoy: "Well oddly enough, it's the 23rd century and hair replacement technology still doesn't cut it. But you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be able to craft a wonderful little rug for you."


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    Kirk: "What do you mean you can't fix it? We've got to do something. This boredom is killing me."
    Spock: "Captain, I thoroughly enjoy being both your first officer and science officer, but attempting to fix an arcane pinball machine is out of the question."


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    Spock: "It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is on Sigma Iotia that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
    McCoy: "Very eloquent, Mr. Spock."
    Spock: "Why, thank you Dr. McCoy."
    McCoy: "You do realize that the microphone isn't turned on, right?"


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    Shatner: "Afta dis ep, dat Emmy is in da bag!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  12. The Old Mixer

    The Old Mixer Clean Old Mod Moderator

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    Somewhere in Connecticut
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    "I don't care how you say your ship works...on this planet, Franz Joseph's word is law!"


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    McCoy: "Oh damn, he's been reading Tolkien again...."


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    "Sit on it, Bonesy!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2013
  13. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Kirk: "I admit it, Bones, you were right! Having a Ready Room is the bee's knees!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2013
  14. The Old Mixer

    The Old Mixer Clean Old Mod Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in Connecticut
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    Kirk: "What if I tried distracting them by singing something by Elton John?"
    Spock and McCoy (in unison): "NO!!!"
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SPOCK: Johnson has hit the ball with the bat and it has been propelled over the right field fence. Currently he has run from first base to second and is approaching third.

    MCCOY: You really suck as this.
     
  16. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
  17. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
    ▲ Dam it I was thinking both those, lol, good luck

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    KIRK: "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the (Beep) do you think you're talking to?"

    BONES: (thinking) Oh shit he thinks hes De Niro again.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2013
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    MCCOY: I'm a surgeon. I didn't go to medical school to trim nose hair.
     
  19. Crazy Eddie

    Crazy Eddie Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Location:
    I'm in your ___, ___ing your ___
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    Bela: "Hey! That's the canon!"
    Kirk: "Of course this is canon. We're on screen right now..."
    Bela: "No, the canon! That's it right there."
    Kirk: "This is it? You mean everything we've ever done or will ever on screen is right here in this book?"
    Bela: "Yeah, and you can never contradict it! Not ever! The fans would go crazy!"



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    "Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I. AM NOT. SPOCK."



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    KIRK: "I got an idea. I'll go over and mention to those guys that my wife is a Bajoran Seamstress on Deneva, and while they're going crazy, you two grab your communicators and...
    SPOCK: "Inadvisable, Captain. Those fans are well armed, and such a gross canon violation would only enrage them further."



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    Chekov? Chekov's got a good heart, but he's weak and stupid and this is life and death.




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    Bones, do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a horrible cunt... me.
     
  20. Kirby

    Kirby Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    Alt: 5280
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    This? No, we came up with this book on our own. The Horizon gave 'The Garfield Compendium'. You know, cartoon cat, loves lasagna and hates Mondays... Our society was actually really lame for a while.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2013