TOS Caption Contest #271: The Tholian Caption

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Spock: "Never mind, Doctor. The captain's 'final instructions' tape turns out to be just Betty and Veronica lesbian porn."
    McCoy: "Live action?"
    Spock: "Afraid not."

    (Will you forgive me for stealing your pic, T'Girl?)
     
  2. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Always.
     
  3. Finngle Bells

    Finngle Bells Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Bones: Is Chekov around?

    Spock: No. Why?

    Bones: I'm not in the mood to hear him say that this blasted recipe was invented in Russia

    Scotty: Aye! It was created by my grandmother in a Glasgow pub!
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock: Now when I ask you if you participated in last night's roofie orgy on deck 12 say aye. Ensign Akbar? Ensign Akbar?

    Uhura <whispers>: Yes, fool.

    Ensign Akbar: Yes? And -

    Spock: Let me guess. It was a trap.


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Good Lord! Somebody raise the camera angle!


    [​IMG]

    Hey! Hey nurse! Come back vith my vallet! Rolling johns was a Russian inwention!


    [​IMG]

    Bones: He was a teen idol, Spock! His brain can't handle a regulation haircut! For heaven's sake you suggested your barber!

    Spock: Noted, Doctor.

    Scotty: He stayed at his post while the other hippies ran.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2013
  5. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    HARRISON: Is this gonna take long? I didn't even know this "Curt" guy.
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock: - And in light of last week's screening of Psycho, I must ask you all not to shout at the screen.

    Uhura: You better not be looking at me.
     
  7. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

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    Spock: This week's sermon is on the logic of controlling one's emotions.

    Ensign Ackbar: Oh, brother.

    Uhura: That's Lieutenant, Ensign.
     
  8. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Spock
    : "By my count there are six gold shirts, six blue shirts,
    ~~~~~ but seven red shirts, an adjustment must be made.

    Officer
    (next to Uhura): "Glad I'm indispensable around here."

    Spock
    : "Ensign Ricky, report for landing party duty."

    Officer (next to Uhura): "Ah shit."

    :)
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Ensign Ackbar: Bet you twenty quatloos he says "logical" in the next thirty seconds.
    Uhura: You're on, fool.
    Spock: Ensign Ackbar, talking during a briefing is not log-
    Ackbar: Mmmm?
    Spock: -Like.
    Ackbar: Awwww.
    Spock: As a Vulcan, log-
    Ackbar: Mmmm?
    Spock: -istically speaking, we have to make the shipment rendezvous on time.
    Ackbar: Awwww.
    Spock: I told the captain it would not be log-
    Ackbar: Mmmm?
    Spock: -aniaceae dicotyledonous plants of the order Gentianales, but magnoliopsid.
    Ackbar: Awwww.
    Uhura: Pay up, fool.
    Spock: Logically.
     
  10. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    I think this thread has sadly been forgotten.
     
  11. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Wrong! :) Just been busy. Working on setting up a new one either tonight or tomorrow.
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Woman in back row, texting: spks a jrk lol.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock: It has been two centuries and no shipboard floods have been reported. Starfleet is returning crew uniforms to standard pant lengths.

    Scotty: Never got sucked through a brewery, have they.

    Ensign Ackbar <whispering>: Let it go!
     
  14. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Sorry people. I was wrong about my promise of starting this earlier. The next few weeks are going to be HUGE for me. I'll do my best to be punctual, but I can't guarantee it, so please bear with me for the next month while this goes on.
     
  15. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    SPOCK: Next, Dr McCoy will give a talk about avoiding intimate contact with aliens.

    ACKBAR: Cripes,not the "Space is disease and danger, wrapped in darkness and silence" again!
     
  16. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    No need to be sorry. Real life always comes first. I feel bad that my previous post may have sounded pushy. I hope all is well and, on the bright side, it gives people more opportunity to contribute. :)
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Spock: Maintain heading and speed, Doctor.
    Scotty: And keep givin' her all she's got.
    Bones: He's dead drunk, Jim.


    [​IMG]

    Spock: He kept saying he had a critical duty to perform. I misunderstood.
    Bones: You thought he meant -
    Spock: Helm control.
     
  18. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    SPOCK: So, who had "trapped on a starship fading from our reality" in the pool?
     
  19. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    No worries! You weren't pushy. I try to keep the contests as consistent as I can. I feel that it's the least I can do, since people keep coming back to caption every time. :bolian:
     
  20. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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