TOS Caption Contest #271: The Tholian Caption

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by LeadHead, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Spock: "The captain and I are endeavoring to discover who took the captain's harness from his mission on Triskelion."

    Kirk: "Most people have no idea it's one of my favorite souvenirs."

    Spock: "Doctor, would you know anything about it?"

    McCoy (to self, futilely hoping Spock doesn't notice he's hiding something behind his back): "Damn pointy-eared hobgoblin--just too logical for me."
     
  2. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Scotty: He's dead Jim!

    McCoy: Hey, that's my line as CMO! Union rules are very clear. Damn demarcation.

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    Spock: When I asked for people who felt the Captain had been sexually harassing them to come forward I wasn't expecting so many.

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    Kirk: ....and whatever you do, don't blink!

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    Chekov: And now for the happy ending?
     
  3. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    McCoy: I'm telling you Scotty, urine shouldn't be this colour.
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    MCCOY: He should have stuck with the wig, I knew that comb over would kill him.
     
  5. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    McCoy: "Now that the Captain is dead, there the little matter of the tape."
    Spock: "I took the liberty of destroying it, there are no copies."
    McCoy: "The tape he wanted us both to watch on the event of his death?"
    Spock: "Oh, that tape. Here, I'll retrieve it from the safe."

    :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2013
  6. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Welcome to the first meeting of the Vogon Poetry Appreciation Society, USS Enterprise chapter."
     
  7. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Doctor, with efficiency in mind, I propse a speedy and logical division of the Captain's personal effects. I'll take his collection of "Pointy Ears, Shapely Rears" and you can have everything else."
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2013
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Spock: "All right, what do you want?"
    McCoy: "You mean for not telling anyone your screen saver is a picture of the captain? Let me think..."
     
  9. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "I didn't see exactly what happened. I just heard him ask Bill if he could have a line in the scene and then the thump of his head as it hit the console ... then Shatner stormed off muttering something about "peons" and "ungrateful"."
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    SPOCK: Skarr, if you will close and secure the door.

    HARRISON (whispering): I've got a bad feeling about this.
     
  11. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Spock: "What is the beaker full of Doctor?"
    McCoy: "Death."

    [​IMG]

    McCoy:
    Damn it Spock,
    I know you told Sulu he could train the new ensign anyway he wanted,
    but repeatedly slamming his head into the console is just wrong.

    :)
     
  12. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "With the invaluable help of Mr. Scott, I think we were finally able to reverse-engineer the perfect glass of Tranya."
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    MCCOY:Ensigns, they're so cute when they're sleep.
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    SPOCK: So it's an engine coolant and a refreshing beverage?

    SCOTT: Aye, from an old family recipe.
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    McCoy: "What?! He died because of...a dare?!"
    Spock: "Unrefrigerated plomeek. I didn't think he'd really do it. You gotta give him credit, though; the kid had guts!"


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    Spock: "I hope it's not as sweet as it looks."
    Scotty: "Ha! That's th' same thing I said about Lieutenant Palamas!"
     
  16. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Sveat Mother Russia, somevun pleaz, no more 'golden oldies!' Dis, Villiam Shatner singing "Lucy in da Sky vit Diamonds" is nyet good!"
     
  17. Maurice

    Maurice Vice Admiral Admiral

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    BONES: And stop practicing your neck-pinch on the crew!
    SULU: Her head hit the self-destruct.
    SCOTT: $#@*!


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    UHURA: I'm up here Ensign... what's your name?
    SPOCK: He's Ensign Deadmeat if he doesn't stop looking ay my woman!


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    BONES: You heard the man's last request. He clearly said we should tango, and I lead.
    SPOCK: Effing illogical.


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    KOENIG: Is that a greenscreen for a digital set extension?
    JUSTMAN (off camera): Maybe in 40 years!


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    SCOTTY:
    What's it taste like?
    BONES: Why, it's tart and TANGy!
    SPOCK: Shut up and pour faster.
     
  18. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk: Bones, Spock. Since you are playing this tape, we will assume that-- HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!
     
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Scotty: Borgas frat, Sunny D again? Did we run out of purple stuff?
     
  20. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    McCoy: "Betty."
    Spock: "Veronica."
    McCoy: "Betty."
    Spock: "Veronica."
    McCoy: "Betty."
    Spock: "Veronica."

    (followed by many minutes of glaring)