TOS Caption Contest #157: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye ...

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Shatmandu, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Kirk vo: "Captain's log supplemental, after due consideration, and the sight of Uncontrollable Diarhhea McCoy walking out of the turbolift, putting his dentures back in, I have decided that a gloryhole on the bridge is a bad idea."
     
  2. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "That was the chair leather again."
    <Sulu and Chekov exchange looks, roll eyes.>




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    Sulu: "We don't have the NFL Network because you switched us back to cable."
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "This crewman of yours...Chekov was his name...when I ordered him to bring me some brandy, he told me I should stand up in bed, bend over, and back up onto this rather pointy device on the wall behind me!"


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    Chekov: "Keptin! Meester Sulu is giving me 'that look' again!"
     
  4. John Picard

    John Picard Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk: [muttering] "Where the hell is that coming from?
    [listens intently] *There is is again*
    [listens intently] It's coming from the gods damned ship!! That music is buried in the frakkin' ship!"
     
  5. Yeoman Randi

    Yeoman Randi Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2009
    Location:
    In a handbasket
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    Kirk (thinking): Genetically engineered and superior intellect, my ass! Once he gets that injection he'll be a friggin' mu-tant just like the rest of us!

    [​IMG]
     
  6. The Squire of Gothos

    The Squire of Gothos Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2001
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    [​IMG]

    "Keptin, I look over my shoulder, Mr Sulu looks over his shoulder, do you?"
    "Only when you're not looking Mister."
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Thanks Dad USAF 1947-1972
    [​IMG]

    KHAN: This material, it is not Corinthian Leather.

    KIRK: Bubblewrap.

    KHAN: Then, that was not me.
     
  8. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Mr Chekov researched old Earth entertainment and programmed this terminal to play the Russian Slim Whitman songs 24 hours a day."

    Khan: "I admire your ruthlessness Captain."
     
  9. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Kirk: "...sixteen channels of gay porn as well. Oh, and the dildo is in the holder on the wall behind you."
     
  10. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia, Kelvin timeline
    [​IMG]

    Comm signal: ooeeeeeooo!
    Chekov (over comm): Bridge to Keptin Kirk! Heyyy, who's she?
    Kirk: Never mind that, Mr. Chekov -- do you have something to report?
    Khan (thinking): Chekov...
     
  11. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Kirk: "Lt. Uhura, please contact Deck 14 and ask them to send someone up here with my hand."
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Thanks Dad USAF 1947-1972
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: And these are our navigators: Bailey ...Farrell...Hadley...Riley...
    Stiles...Latimer...DeSalle...Osborne...Painter... Leslie...Chekov


    KHAN: Can't we do this later? I grow fatigued.

    KIRK: No, this is important. Now, communications.
     
  13. mari

    mari Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Well? What do you think?
    Khan: Hmm, my forehead is so big... give me bangs, big fluffy bangs.
    Kirk: No, no, it looks fine.
    Khan: Are you sure?
    Kirk: Yeah, nobody's wearing bangs anymore.
     
  14. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Sadly, the dick was not in the door, but rather lopped off instantly when the surprisingly sharp-edged doors slide shut, leaving Kirk momentarily stunned.

    Meanwhile, on deck 12, waiting lift patronizers were greeted to a most disturbing surprise.


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    In a stunning retcon, Paramount Studios adds a deleted scene where, digitally added on the comptuer screen, Khan is shown Chekov's face for no appearent reason.
    Though Berman is no longer part of Trek, when reached for comment, he was "Very pleased".


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    Sulu: "But ... I have to go to the bathroom."

    Kirk: "You should have thought of that before we entered intergallatic space. You know damn well, mister, starships don't have toilets."
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Thanks Dad USAF 1947-1972
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: So, its nighttime?
     
  16. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Casual Stardate FRiday's.
     
  17. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "What's a nice door like you doing in a place like this?"
     
  18. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Damn revisionist history."
     
  19. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "Yes I knew her, but thats not Sarah Palin it's Lisa Ann"



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    Kirk: "Shut up guys one more UFO in asteroids and I break my record..."


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    Kirk finally knew what embarrassment was by walking into the door with a hard-on and breaking his nose
     
  20. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Nimoy (on the other side of the door): "I have been...and always shall be...your friend."

    Shatner: "You know, Nick, not to tell you how to direct, but maybe this would work better if the door was transparent?"