TOS Caption Contest #157: No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye ...

Discussion in 'Star Trek - Original Series' started by Shatmandu, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Hiya, folks.

    Finally getting back into a groove from the holiday. Lots of family, and the aggravating ones couldn't make it.

    Your captions that made me spill my stockings were:








    Very nicely done, all.

    This week's shots are a mixed bag:

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]


    And the oddball is:

    [​IMG]

    I think we'll probably need a "dick in the door" joke running tally.

    Joe, tally-runner
     
  2. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "It would also ... help my recovery ... if I could be given a bladed weapon ... or perhaps a bazooka."
    Kirk: "I'll have six of each sent right up, harmless stranger I know nothing about."



    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Could you guys shut up? I'm trying to figure out what these dots are ..."



    [​IMG]

    Uhura: "It's the non-asshole-detectors, sir."
     
  3. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]


    Kirk: "I'm sorry but I have to move this between your superior chest and the cameras."







    [​IMG]
    "Someone freeze the turbo lift QUICKLY."
     
  4. marylizz

    marylizz Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 24, 2009
    Location:
    Sickbay
    [​IMG]

    Khan: Could I get a different room? The unicorn in the room behind me keeps staring at me from that hole in the wall.
     
  5. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Location:
    The Bay Area
    [​IMG]

    Khan: You have misspelled my name on the medical forms. It's K-H-A-N not K-A-H-N.


    [​IMG]

    Sulu: Pavel, the stars are blinking in and out of order.
    Chekov: I told you not to get those pills from Scotty.


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: Whelp, looks like I'll have to change my Adult Friend Finder from uncut to cut.
     
  6. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: All right, Khan - now, look at the monitor. This right here
    (tapping monitor for emphasis) says the chest is phony --
    totally
    unbelievable and plastic-looking!


    [​IMG]

    Chekov: (defensively) Vhat?
    Kirk: Mr. Sulu?
    Sulu: Pavel's already nabbed Mister Spock's earpiece. It's kind of cute.
    Chekov: But I am ecting Science Officer!
    Sulu: Of course you are. (snickers)
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, Joe! :)

    [​IMG]

    Khan (taking a standard Ink Blot Test): "Ugh! Another disgusting sexual image! What is wrong with you people?"


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "You know, at least indirectly, this is all Helen Noel's fault!"
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
    [​IMG]

    KHAN: Much better. Now fluff my pillows and get me a glass of water.

    [​IMG]

    SULU: He still can't see the sailboat.

    [​IMG]

    MCCOY: Get the spray bottle Spock. He's at it again.
     
  9. A beaker full of death

    A beaker full of death Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2002
    [​IMG]


    Archer: This is... *

    Sulu: Did you hear anything?
    Chekov: Nyet. Not a ting.
    Kirk: Them's my boys.
     
  10. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    scottydog
  11. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
    UHURA: I'm picking up a transmission...

    KIRK: Put it on audio.

    ARCHER: Report Mr. Reed?

    REED: Hull plating at 100 %. Best I can figure its some sort of welcoming pyrotechnic display.
     
  12. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    scottydog
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Magnification 3, Mr. Sulu."

    Sulu: "Better make it magnification 100, sir."
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
    [​IMG]

    KIRKS: It's like we're looking in a mirror.
     
  14. scottydog

    scottydog Admiral Admiral

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    scottydog
  15. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "When I awoke, there was a young man with a bad haircut, suckling from me as if I were his mother..."
    Kirk: "Chekov..."


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "That's it, five years is enough of this. Everytime you two glance at each other, I get a face full of homoerotic subtext. Now cut it out, or go on separate shifts."

    Uhura os: "Try looking at the back of an egotistical asshole for five years."




    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Janice, I'm sorry... I was wrong, you don't have fat calves... Janice? Listen, honey. We're in the middle of a situation here. I need to get to the transporter room...

    ... Spock take a note. Either transfer the neurotic bitch off this ship, or get another turbolift installed on the bridge...

    Janice honey, can we talk about this?"
     
  16. Gertch

    Gertch Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [​IMG]

    "Ahhhh, a Star Trek movie collection. I hear those ending in 2 are the best, Captain."
     
  17. Hambone

    Hambone Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2006
    Location:
    Land of cheese, sausage and beer
    [​IMG]

    KIRK: It's called a "microwave oven". These were unheard of back in your time. It can cook a bean burrito almost instantly...only 8 or 9 minutes.

    KHAN: Your technological advances are most impressive, Captain...but I am most disappointed in how little improvement there has been in burritos themselves.


    [​IMG]

    KIRK: I don't know what the fuss is about. I think this "non-remastered" viewscreen works just fine.



    [​IMG]

    Kirk re-thinks his earlier hesitance about installing a glory-hole on the bridge.
     
  18. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Location:
    nobody cares
    Thanks for a win Shatmandu.


    [​IMG]
    Kirk, knocking on door: Can you hurry up with your masturbating in there Spock! I gotta use the can!


    [​IMG]
    Worst fan made episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever.
     
  19. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "The Golden Girls Season Four DVD set back in the library yet?"
    Kirk: "Negative."
    Khan: "Bring me this overdue card holder of yours ... this Chekov ..."



    [​IMG]

    Sulu: "Burger King sucks."
    Chekov: "I vill not eat Chinese again."
    Sulu: "That's not even funny. I'm Japanese."
    Chekov: "I vas not ..."
    Kirk: "ENOUGH! We're getting a pizza and that's FINAL!"




    [​IMG]

    Being drunk and urinating into the turbolift can be dangerous.
     
  20. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Khan: "The boy who changed out my bedpan claimed he shook my penis to make sure the end was dry."

    Kirk: "Chekov."

    [​IMG]

    The parking brake crack was bad enough, but when Kirk told him to speed up in the fast lane, Sulu was convinced the crew of the Enterprise hated Asian drivers.

    [​IMG]

    Kirk (in a high pitched voice): "Uhura, listen to me very carefully. Do not let that turbolift go anywhere."
     

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