Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #477: I got the contest number right this time :)

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! A contest that starts on the weekend!

First up to the plate, we have the "Failure to Conserve Energy" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: A LOT of people left their lights on.


Next, we have "The Cake is a Lie!" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Riker: Aren't you both coming to the briefing?
Picard: We were TOLD there would be CAKE.



Next, we have the "Get out of the chair, Ensign Expendable" Award, going to Leviathan for:

Picard: Go to Red Alert. All crew with 'Main Character Shields' to battle stations.



Next, we have the "Temporal Crime" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers, for:

Rejected TNG episode #893: "Light Work" - The Department of Temporal Investigations seeks the help of the crew of the Enterprise-D in locating a renegade Klingon who went back in time to steal Captain Kirk's dramatic lighting.


Next, we have the "...And this is how Worf was transferred to Swamp Castle" Award, going to shivkala, for:

Picard: Why doesn't anyone announce me anymore? Look, I'm going to go back into the Turbolift, come out again, and Mr. Worf, you're going to announce, "Captain on the Bridge!"

Worf: Sir, we've been through this, just as soon as I start doing it again, you get annoyed with it, tell me it's obvious you're here, and that I shouldn't announce you.

Picard: Look, it's my ship, if I want to be announced, I'm going to be announced. Now, here I go back into the Turbolift and when the doors open again, say, "Captain on the Bridge!"

Worf: Captain on the Bridge!

Picard: I didn't go all the way back into the Turbolift, Mr. Worf. Okay, give it a few seconds, the doors will close and then re-open and then you...

Worf: Captain on the Bridge!

Picard: Not. Yet. Give it a...

Worf: Captain on the Bridge!

Picard: Wait until I leave, first!

Worf: Do I announce you leaving?

Picard: You know what, forget the whole thing. Just forget...

Worf: Captain on the Bridge!

Picard: *sigh*




Our Photoshop Award goes to Nerys Myk for:

The Award goes to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Captain's Log: "Everytime I walk onto the bridge, Worf says 'He's behind be, isn't he?'. I'm pretty convinced that he's doing it just to mess with my head."

Our KBL goes to Smellincoffee for:

Picard: Commander Worf? What's the matter?
Worf: Commander Riker was in your chair.
Picard: Yes, he had the conn.
Worf: He and Counselor Troi *both* were.
..simultaneously.
Troi: I know nothing.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

I'm glad I was able to get this contest going before the end of the weekend, but I can't make that guarantee for next weekend. Fortunately, after that it should be smoother sailing for a couple weeks at least.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

O'Brien: I'm going to need to beam you down one at a time, Commander.

Riker: Why?

O'Brien: If my boredom becomes any more apparent, I'll get transferred to a space station or they'll make an internet cartoon of my life.

Lwaxana: Jean-Luc!

Picard: I'm sorry, shuttlecraft, your transmission is breaking up. Screen off. Mister Crusher, get us out of here.

Wesley: But we're supposed to rendevous with that shuttle, Captain.

Picard: Do it and I'll stop saying "Shut up Wesley."

Wesley: Is Warp 9 fast enough, Captain?

Troi: I knew I should have taken the blue pill.

First Officer's Log: I'm torn between stopping Doctor Crusher from playing Spacebox while on duty or getting a second controller so I can play too.

Picard: I've been looking forward to Mr. Data's concert all week, Number One.

Riker: Oh, I forgot to tell him never to start them with his poetry again.

 

[Finn]

O'Brien: Can't you see it? This thing is talking to me. That blinking. Geordi? Commander?

LaForge: Chief...you haven't been home in two weeks. You haven't even left the transporter room.

Crusher: Yeah, we only noticed when I realized you never came in with a dislocated shoulder the past week.

Troi: Hello. I crashed. Where are you?

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

O'Brien: I refuse to beam anyone down until you've all said something nice to Sally Mary.
Riker: Who the h -
LaForge: The transporter console, apparently.
Crusher: Transporter Room Fever. Now you know why doctors prefer to use the shuttle.

Lwaxana: Little One, I sense this guy would be open to a devil's threesome with you and the Commander.

Eyes...in the dark...
What?
Eyes...in the dark...
I can't hear you!
Eyes...in the dark...
Look, you're going to have to be a lot more obvious! I'm not really licensed!

Crusher: I don't know what you've got, but stay away from chairs and doors.

Riker: Did you notice during the second arpeggio in the first movement, the pianist played an F minor chord instead of a diminished D?
Picard: Really? She is the peeinest? Even above Lieutenant Prune Juice?
Riker: How many space miles have you logged again?

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the award!

O'brien would eventually be demoted and tranferred for his worrying habit of beaming in senior officers when he 'got a little lonely'.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "Sir, I don't mean to possibly alarm you, but I think we have a time travelor in our midst..."

 

[Jedman67]

O'Brien: "Just one second Commander, I'm updating my twitter feed- 'Four beam down on the away team, will the redshirt come back?' -what do you think?"
Riker: "CHIEF! Just beam us down already - and don't forget to transport our uniforms too this time!!"

Riker: "If I have to sit through one more recital of Felis catus, Data will find himself demoted to spare parts faster than you can say 'Spot'!"
Picard: "Oh hush, Number One. This is quite a fascinating essay on the feline attributes! Oh and Mr. LaForge just received a new chainsaw for Engineering, I'm quite sure he would be willing to let you borrow it for a few hours."

 

[Shikarnov]

O'Brien: And when Snotty rematerialized the president, his head was on backwards! loooooool. Let me find the clip for you, sir. It's really hilarious.

Riker: That won't be necessary, Mr. O'Brien. I don't want you getting any bright ideas.

O'Brien: But, sir... (sigh) Yes, sir.

 

[Jedman67]

Troi: "Dihydrogen-monoxide? We've got plenty of that!"

 

[Finn]

First Officer's Log: I can't figure it out...who does the lipstick on his ear belong to...Vash or Beverly?

 

[tharpdevenport]

First Officer's Log: I can't figure it out...who does the lipstick on his ear belong to...Vash or Beverly?

First Officer's Log, Addendum: Found different colored lipstick on the other ear.....

 

[shivkala]

Thanks, as always for the win!

O'Brien: So how attached were you guys to Data, I mean really?

Lwaxana: Jean-Luc?

Picard: I'm sorry, you're breaking up, we're flying through a tunnel...

Troi: Hello? Enterprise? Can you help? Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.

Crusher: Doctor's Log-If I have to treat Commander Riker for one more STD...

Riker: Doctor, can I see you for a moment? It's private...

Riker: Sir, I'm excited for tonight, Data is performing a piece of classical music by the Beastie Boys.

Picard: I hope it's not "Sabotage," while decent, it lacked the subtler aspects that pieces like "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" or "Brass Monkey" displayed.

 

[Catarina]

Venus and Jupiter won't be this close for another century...



Leadhead: a warning here. I was feeling like a themed chain response. It may feel redundant :P

Riker whispers inaudibility The Police's Every step you take: "Every move you make every step you take, I'll be watching you..."

Riker: I'd like that sliced thin with extra tomato, onion, and on a fresh roll this time. Not the rock you served me last time. Every step you take..."
Chief: 'Every move you make' got it. With all do respect sir, go back to playing the trombone and your order number is 41."

Riker thoughts: "Every step you take, every move you make"
Picard: "I'll be watching you, Number One."
Riker thoughts: Yikes, will the real Betazoid on the bridge please stand up?
Picard: "Don't wreck my ship"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Troi: "Oh, oh, oh -- I know this one! There are FOUR LIGHTS!!!"

 

[jespah]

In space, no one can hear you scream, but apparently everyone can see your panty lines.

 

[tharpdevenport]

DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILD, THEN QUIET


Ki ki ki...

Doc doc doc...

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: It's not too late for me trigger a red alert.

PICARD: You couldn't have suggested that before the ventriloquist?

RIKER: Ha, what a waste of lime. Who ever heard of a Doctor taking a Bridge shift.

O"BRIEN: Check this out, there's a crazy program where you use the transporter to combine two people into one. It's a one in billion combination of keystrokes, so there's noway anyone can do it.

CRUSHER; Does he have something in his eye?
DATA: I am detecting a pattern. Hmmm. An Ancient Earth system called "Morse Code". He's saying: H E L P M E P L E A S E

RIKER: We're gonna have to come in hard and fast.
LAFORGE: We've no sensors or comms!
RIKER: So? It's not like some idiot would be standing on the landing pad in the middle of a fog bank.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Excerpts from the new travelogue, Deanna Goes To Vancouver.

 

[Hutchy01]

 

[Jedman67]

With Guinan on vacation, O'Brien and his trusty Transporter Room get to run the cafeteria for a change.