Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #475: Repairs

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry for the late start, EDIT: The Winners are here!

First up to the plate, we have the "Fashion OF THE FUTURE!!!" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

DATA: You are right, Wesley. There is a uniform more ridiculous than yours.



Next, we have the "Well, I hope that's the worst thing that happens to him this season..." Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:

Remmick: You sank my battleship!



Next, we have the "Confidence" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: Wake him up. I think I could take him if I was prepared.



Next, we have the "So cut it out or we'll have Nechayev make you her personal project!" going to Shivkala for:

Admiral Haftel: I've taken a great personal risk coming here!

Picard: Sir, I thought Starfleet sent you here.

Haftel: They did! Do you know how many Admiral's are sent here and die, or end up arrested, or are found to have parasites living in them, or whatever? Being asked to visit you guys is like Starfleet Command deciding to let us go without having to fire us.



Next, we have the "So that explains things..." Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Hansen: And I'm afraid I won't have time to do the paperwork for your promotion before the battle. But I'm sure even if I die horribly your loyal crew will tell everyone I made you a captain. I mean, unless you piss them off by ignoring their own career advancement and just giving the First Officer role to some blond totty you want to get in the underwear of...

Our Photoshop Award, goes to Hutchy01 for:

"Nakamura": So Clark wasn't enough, an elderly Asian man is too much, what works as a disguise?

Our KBL goes to Jedman67 for:

Admiral Hansen: "Lieutenant Worf, I'm granting you a field promotion to Captain. Congratulations!"
Riker: "Hey! What about me? I'm second in command!"
Hanson: "Commander, remind me. How many times have you crashed that ship??"

A Special Award for Finn:

"Wil, a few years ago, I watched a freshman cadet pass four upperclassmen on the last hill of the forty-kilometer run at Delulin II. The damnest thing I ever saw, the only freshman to ever win the Academy Marathon. I made it my business to get to know that young fellow, and get to know him very, very well. And I'll tell you something. I never met anyone with more drive and determination or more courage than Leadhead. And there is no way in hell that he would submit to the real life. I want that clear."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Here's the new Contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: Data, I opened up the chips access panel. What do we do now?

Data: Now, we shut down all transporters as the chips are never supposed to be exposed to air.

Worf: And that is Lieutenant La Forge, he is firing a highly charged beam into the warp core... GEORDI STOP!!!!!

Ensign: Isn't that the plasma coolant tank that melts people?

Riker: Dang, I never get the SpaceUSB port the right way on the first try.

Riker: Can you fix it, Geordi?

La Forge: You bet! All I have to do is smash it against the wall and replicate a new machine!

 

[Finn]

Geordi: Wouldn't it be funny if the writers had O'Brien shrunk and running around on this thing"

Anya: Who's that hunk?

Geordi: Wow...Pink Elephants
Ensign:.....

Chief Engineer's log: I love trolling those probies. There's no way they can know what I actually see with my vision.

Data: You know what they say about hairy knuckles?

Geordi: This is a highly dangerous experiment. There is a 40 percent chance it can collapse the containment force field for the warp core if it fails.

Riker: Cool. Carry on.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data: "Geordi, I have a hypotosis: we can play chess with isolinear chips."

LATER THAT DAY...

Geordi: "Damnit, Data."

Riker: "Okay, Mr. Data, time to find out what part of your brain thought that was a good idea."

Geordi: "I found this in his head."

Riker: "And you think that's what made him play chess with the chips?"

Geordi: "Oh, that? NJo idea. But I found this thing."

Riker: "What is it?"

Geordi: "Oh, this? No idea."

Riker: "I have no idea what's going on in this episode."

 

[Captain April]

Geordi: Who left this Stratego game here?

Data: Sir, I'm afraid no matter how much you fiddle with my receptors, I'll never be able to pick up HBO for you.

Riker: What's that?
Geordi: Nothing. You know these Scandinavian flat-pack warp coils always come with too many parts.
Weseley: But Geordi, the instructions show...
Geordi: I SAID, it's an extra part.

 

[Hutchy01]

Riker: This is not what I meant when I said "Give me Head"!

 

[Finn]

First Officer's Log: I put in a memory of me winning at poker last night and that Data owes me....a lot

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: You must have enjoyed your Cybernetics course at the Academy.
RIKER: They have a Cybernetics course?

 

[shivkala]

Geordi: Engineer's Log: Here we see the isolinear chip in its native environment. Notice how they like to travel in packs. Some say the order of greens and blues determines various functions around the ship, while others say it's completely random. Now, Mr. Data and I will attempt to move in for a closer view, though we must be careful, isolinear chips are known to be quite skittish.

Worf: As I said, these ships are so advanced, a blind man could fix them.

Geordi: Okay, don't panic, in situations like this, I like to blame it on the no-name engineering crew member who no one cares about. Say, what's your name again?

Riker: Huh, who knew we could use you to play Operation, Data?

Riker: Hurry up, Geordi, we're running out of time!

Geordi: Cannot run out of time. There is infinite time. You are finite. Geordi is finite. THIS is wrong tool.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOLDSHIRT: It's not supposed to do that, is it?

 

[Tenacity]

LaForge: "Coolant leak, you know what this means?"
Ensign: "Core breach?"
LaForge: "No, another opportunity for me to roll under the descending blast door."

 

[Jedman67]

Data getting a mani-pedi and shave

Picard: "LaForge, is my tea ready yet?"
LaForge: "Patience Captain, the dilithium intermix isn't quite right yet."
Picard: "Well hurry it up, you know how important this is!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Don't your engineers have engineering tools and stuff?

 

[Smellincoffee]

RIker: I swear to you by my beard, Data, when I am finished you *will* be able to use contractions.

LaForge: This cotton candy machine has no place in my engine room.
Officer: Aww.

LaForge: Frickin' voles. How do Cardassian vermin even get on the ship?

Riker: Status report, Geordi.
LaForge: Well, we've rebuilt the console.
Riker: In record time! What's the problem?
LaForge: See this part? It was *inside* the machine before.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LaForge: They should really label this stuff.

 

[TommyR01D]

Geordi: After I put this bomb on the safe, we hide behind the console, wait for the explosion, grab the money, then head for the main shuttlebay.

 

[Triskelion]

Data: I brought the chips. Did you bring the fish?
Geordi: Boy, you really know how to ruin a fish and chips party. Lucky for you no girls have shown up yet.

Alien: What is that man doing with that goofy-looking technology?
Worf: Probably just running some kind of test.
Alien: And what's that in his hand?

LaForge: Damn, there goes my Saturday night!
Ensign: Sure, Chief.

Data: - And then I told 18th century Guinan she still puts too much head on her ale.
Riker: And?
Data: And she proved me right.

LaForge: A love detector?
Riker & Crusher: Happy birthday.
LaForge: It doesn't even work.
Crusher: Doesn't it, Geordi? Doesn't it?

 

[Hutchy01]

Laforge: The captain must have been here!

 

[LeadHead]

Post #1 has been updated with the winners from the last contest!

 

[Jedman67]

Our KBL goes to Jedman67 for:

TY for the win!


1/2

2/2

Geordi: "You're right Commander, this is Data's brain!"