Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #466: Recall Agent

[LeadHead]

First up to the plate, we have the "How things work on a Starship" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Picard: Either leave my ship or I shall have to remove you by force.
Ardra: Go ahead and try.
Picard: Mister Worf.
Worf: Lieutenant Johnson.
Lt Johnson: Ensign Hurlihee.
En. Hurlihee: Acting Ensign Crusher.
Acting Ensign Crusher: Cadet Lefler.
Cadet Lefler: Future Grandmother of my child Doctor Crusher?
Dr Crusher: Jean Luc.
Picard: Dammit!
Ardra: Now how to reset these radio knobs....


Next, we have the "Number One lets us take our Number Twos" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

When Data captains the night shift, he does not let the bridge crew go to the bathroom until the shift is done.


Next, we have the "Best seat in the house" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Crusher: Wow, it doubles as a bidet as well!


Next, we have the "Command Style" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

MacDuff: Lysian ships ap-
Worf: Blow them out of the stars..
MacDuff: Done. They blowed up real good, captain. Oh! Satarran ship coming into vi-
Worf: Fire everything!
MacDuff: Actually, I think they might be good guys --
Worf: In space, all warriors are cold warriors. Fire!
MacDuff: Shouldn't we hail them first?
Worf: What are you, in league with the bald man now? YOU'RE fired.


Next, we have the "This is getting a little sad, Will" Award, going to Bry_Sinclair for:

As the years progressed, Riker became less and less subtle about wanting to be in the Captain's chair.

Making it to Jean-Luc's PADD this week is shivkala's:

Ardra: Captain's Log-I make this look good.

This weeks KBL goes to Nerys Myk for:

PICARD: Pardon me.

SCOTTY: He likes that seat.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Our puzzle continues!

Our clues:

Thread titles:

Ambush!
Free Drinks!
Inevitable Betrayal
Research Agreement
Honorable Example
Crime Wave
Manipulate
Call in a Favor
Call for Adventurers
Mandatory Quest
Open Lord
Recall Agent

Other clues:

Wil Wheaton is connected to this pattern and it has nothing to do with Mass Effect or The Big Bang Theory.

All of the thread titles are Intriguing.

The Wil Wheaton connection also connects Patrick Rothfuss and Felicia Day to this.

The mystery is related to Dungeons & Dragons (but not to a movie)

The first word of the puzzle is "Lords"

New clue:

I'm gonna do this Wheel of Fortune Style, so I'm filling in the rest of the letters from Lords to the rest of the puzzle

Lords o_ _ _ _ _ rd _ _ _

Since I'm doing it Wheel of Fortune style, I'll give at category as well: Game

We now return to our regularly scheduled Captioning!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Aw, crap. What's he doing back here?

Q: Not to worry, I'm sending Tasha back to the ship for her own protection. For some reason I feel that planets like this aren't safe for her.

Riker: We're beaming back Mr. La Forge. We've decided you're annoying enough for us to abandon you here. Riker out. Warp two, Ensign.

Troi: Uh, hello? We're being beamed away.

Picard: Not now! The NBA finals are on!

First Officer's Log: While I was at lunch, Captain Picard led an Away Team without my knowledge. I took care of it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Geordi came to regret the decision to leave Starfleet and join the Pakled boyband, No Direction.

WORF: THE WOMEN!!!
YAR: Hey!!!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "Women? Starfleet regulations prohibt us from beaming down our crew to be sex slaves to other races, but we can help you with pick-up lines. We're beaming over our top wooer."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

O'BRIEN (Offscreen): We've detected a problem during transport. The transporter beam was duplicated again!
PICARD: So now there are three Rikers?
O'BRIEN: Yes.
PICARD: My God. Get out of here, quick! Warp 8! Don't tell Will.

The day Data's programming evolved to the point that he could trigger his 'Hallucinogenic experience' subroutine.

PAK'LED: We look for things. Things that make us go.
RIKER: You need help fixing your engine?
PAK'LED: No. We need help...attracting alien females. The man you are sending us, he is smart?
RIKER: Oops.

TASHA: We have a barellian glow fly infestation on the ship. They're attracted to really strong perfume.
PICARD: Thank you Tasha. I think we have the situation under control.

In this rarely seen Patrick Stewart karaoke video, they overdid the twinkle effects.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA It's a probe from their vessel. Plasma-energy combination.
GEORDI: Are we in any danger?
DATA: Negative. These probes only target bald people.

 

[Finn]

Riker: We are sending over Commander LaForge. It looks like there are no ladies among you guys. He should be fine.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW LeadHead!

Picard: Well there he is. Back from his relief mission relocating all the orphans.
Worf: Are we going to tell him about our run-in with the Planet of Sex Priestesses?
Picard: Oh yes.

Data: So...we are no longer waiting for attractive females to leave our nerd parties of their own free will?
Geordi: Yep.
Worf: I do not know why she came in the first place.

Picard: Mister O'Brien, I said beam Worf's party down to the planet. What did you think I said?
O'Brien: I...don't want to say, sir.
Yar: "MILF party."

Captain's log, supplemental: Away mission bug zapper duty shall no longer be determined by random draw!

 

[shivkala]

Picard: quietly to Worf, watch this...Loudly Your trombone playing sucks!

Q: Sorry, no women, this is a sausage fest, pure and simple.

Riker: The Pakleds need an engineer. We need a day free of sexual harassment complaints against Geordi. Win/win!

Spock: off-screen THE WOMEN!

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Tasha: I'm here, you know?

Worf: Still?

Picard: Captain's Personal Log-I love making my "O" face when I'm being transported. It always creeps them out.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "He looks exhausted."
Picard: "He looks well and truly snu-snu'd"
Worf: "What can I say? Klingon women have large appetites, and they like bearded men."

Data: "A cannon that shoots holes in the fabric of spacetime. I would say that is intriguing, but I do not think much of the range."

Pakled 1: "We need things."
Pakled 2: "Things that make us go..."
Pakled Captain: "Things that makes us go hmm, by the C&C Music Factory"
Riker: "We're beaming over our chief funketeer with the ship's complete music library."

Crusher: "I must insist as CMO that you report to sickbay for your routine physical, Captain. You've been putting it off for months."
Troi: "And your psychological evaluation is out of date, Starfleet regulations..."
Picard: "Computer, activate anti-nag field"

Picard: "Dammit Chief! You can have your transfer. Now beam down my pants!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Okay, now lengthen the hair. Part it down a side. Yes, that's good. Now remove the beard. Ummm, on second thought, put the beard back."

Worf: "Sir, commander Riker is not Mr. Potato Head."

Picard: "Stop this absurdity! I assure you none of my crew would have sex with a sparkly vampire!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I was under the impression the download speed would improve when we installed the new OS.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Enhance pattern buffers."

O'Brien (off screen): "No good."

Picard: Decompress main shuttle bay."

O'Brien: "We're loosing him."

Picard: "Re-enforce the Cuisinart matrix," turns to Worf, "Mr. Worf, did I ever tell you my great great great grandfather taught James Kirk how to use a transporter before he took command of the Enterprise A?"

 

[Triskelion]

Pakled Captain: And now we will learn all the secrets of attracting females from your Chief Engineer.
Riker: Oh no! Not the Fungilli Maneuver!

Picard: Well that's what they get for inviting strange aliens to breakfast on their vegan biscuits.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Who's the new crewman at the transporter?

WORF: Her name is Rand. She's a legacy.

RIKER: Oh, hell no....

 

[f14peter]

Captioning!

PICARD: "Well, I hope Mr Riker enjoyed his temporary transfer to the Pagh, I'm most interested in hearing all about it."

WORF: "From his disheveled appearance, slouched shoulders and glazed over eyes, it looks as if the Commander indulged in a lot of Klingon food and drink ... might I suggest stepping back Captain, regurgitated stewed gahg is most unpleasant, even if it's only partially materialized"

PAKLED COMMANDER: "Geordi is here, we like Geordi, he is sparkling"

RIKER: "Well, that's only the transporter effect, he'll stop, um, sparkling when he fully materializes"

PAKLED COMMANDER: "Oh okay ... we still like Geordi, he is sparkling"

PICARD: "QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

 

[T'Boggan]

Data; Sir, It appears Bootsy Collins is trying to sneak on board again.

Yar; I thought It was Star Wars that Disney was buying! And why dont I get a sparkly princess outfit?

Picard: See Warf I told you he keeps his wallet down his pants...Pay up!

 

[dstyer]

Lords of Waterdeep?

 

[2takesfrakes]

The perfect holiday gift for Trekkies on your shopping list:
The Hallmark "Captain Jean-Luc Picard Snow Globe"

 

[Leviathan]

Force Ghost Picard: You must go to the Dagobah System...