Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #455: Inevitable Betrayal

[LeadHead]

Hello all and welcome to this contest! We're starting early this weekend!

First up to the plate, we have the "Purest of Intentions" Award, going to HMS Ark Royal for:

"Jean-Luc..."

"Guinan"

"Ready to get hammered?"

#



Next, we have the "Communications Failure" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Picard os: "For the last time Will, wine tasting is a delicate art. You don't just down the bottle. First... the nose."
Riker: "Snort the wine through the nose, got it."



Next, we have the "Rough Week" Award, going to indycar for:

O'Brien: That's the sixth time this week and it's only Monday.


Next, we have the "Medical Ethics" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Pulaski: After you drink the poison tea, I'll give you an injection.
Worf: I am Klingon, I don't need an antidote for the tea.
Pulaski: Yeah, it's not for the tea.



Next, we have the "High Production Value" Award, going to Inflatabledalek for:

Picard: I hope they haven't sat me in front of the cheap wall again...

Our Captain's Log Award, goes to Shivkala for:

Picard: Captain's Log-I'm experiencing a bit of a crisis. I've eaten my biscuit too quickly and now I won't be able to dip it into the tea much longer. Do I turn around or just suck it up and drink the tea when the biscuit is gone?

This weeks KBL goes to Smellincoffee for:

Little known fact: Riker and Troi's first engagement was aborted after Riker drank from Troi's glass and accidentally swallowed the ring.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, our new contest! We take a look at moments that our heroes maybe should have seen coming...

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Pardek: What is this?

Spock: I am sorry Pardek. They promised us some really good Romulan ale if we turned you in.

Tore: You've been served.

Picard: That's not a Racquetball Racket!

Troi: You're working with the Ferengi!

Ral: And?

...

Picard: We're waiting Counselor.

Lore: To the seeming invincible nature of Soong Androids and the ease of knocking them out with something spread into a champagne glass!

Grainer: Hold your fire! We didn't want to clone them.

 

[Orac]

Troi: Devononi Ral is rubbish in the sack! Also he has a really small dick.

Worf: Snicker!

Riker (Thinking): Yes! Someone else getting the shame treatment for a change.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LORE: Here's to killing all the humans and grounding their bones to dust beneath our feet!

DATA: Yes. here's to...wait, what?

 

[LeadHead]

If you need me, I'll be over here laughing like crazy. I just awarded Nerys Myk the "Wait, WHAT?!" Award in the TOS Contest!

 

[indycar]

Thank you for the win, my first one.

Pardek and Picard: What's that?
Data: It appears to be a phenomenon called a cave in.

Tore: Your bill, sir.

Troi: Alright! I admit it! I've slept with both of them.
Worf: Whores are without honor.

Data: We will now have a contest to see who can drink more of these without becoming drunk.

Pulaski was originally meant to be killed off. But producers decided against it.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Ah, Wesley, I see you're continuing to transgender nicely."

Wesley: "Ah, I'm at the helm..."

 

[Hutchy01]

Lore: To killing all humans!

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

Lore: To leisure suits with turtlenecks!
Data: And horsehair bristle brushes!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win LH!

Captain's personal log: "I never realised before, but Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planetary Development also applies to caves."

Alien: "Darth Picard, Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this, when they hear that you've attacked a diplomatic..."
Picard: "Oh please, that hairstyle isn't even close. It look like it would generate electricity, not act as a pair of ear muffs."

Troi: "The Barzan wormhole is a con, you've been lying about your Betazoid heritage, you're crap in bed, and no, it doesn't happen to every guy, and on top of all that, you sucked in Police Academy."

Lore: "Through the nose, you say?"
Data: "Commander Riker swears by it."

First Officer's Log: "The mission to Lameassia 3 is going unexpectedly well. Apparently for this planet's native species, laser pointers are a lethal weapon, giving us a distinct advantage in the negotiations."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Lore: "To cheap walls."

Data: "Cheap walls," clanking glasses.

Lore: "With which I have learned to communicate."

Data: WTF?

 

[Hutchy01]

Of the characters in this scene how many have died and then lived stupidly long lives after?

 

[JesterFace]

Data: You're looking good today Lore, I'll drink to that.
Lore: I don't look as good as you, my dear identical brother.

We're GORGEOUS!

 

[jep]

Troi: "Wait... you've slept with everyone here?"

Ral: "Yes, I have... well, except for Worf. I haven't slept with him..."

Worf: "Yet."


.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

What diabolical plan have the Romulans hatched this time? Will our dynamic duo escape this cave of horrors? Tune in tomorrow same star-time, same star-channel!

Tore: I can't beat this level of Candy Crush, can you help?

Picard: Captain's Log- Two Betazoids? And he's even less interesting than Troi. And now I realized I zoned out on the last few minutes of this conversation. Merde, what do I do?

Ral: Pardon me, Captain, I believe there's a slight conflict of interest here.

Troi: I agree, entirely. Mister Ral asked me not to tell anyone he has empathic powers which he uses to manipulate his competitors in a negotiation. And yes, it did put me in a conflict of interest, which I hope I have now resolved. Premier, I believe Ral has used your fear of continuing aggression between the Federation and its enemies to undermine our position. I also believe that this incident was staged by Ral and Goss to provide you a reason to choose in favour of the Chrysalians.

Picard: Make it so! Captain's Log: Supplemental, I'm starting to realize that was not the right thing to say...

Lore: Since we don't actually imbibe alcoholic beverages I've improvised for this toast.

Data: Intriguing, what did you use?

Lore: Your cat expels a large volume of liquid waste.

Pulaski: A little to the left. Perfect, that's exactly where the itch was. You sure do take care of your guests here!

 

[jep]

Thank you for the win, my first one.

Troi: Alright! I admit it! I've slept with both of them.
Worf: Whores are without honor.

Data (Off screen) "That is an incorrect usage of the word 'whore', Lt. Worf. Whores, by definition charge a fee for their services. Counselor Troi would be more appropriately described as a tramp, hussy, floozy, slattern, wench, nymphomaniac..."

Picard: "Thank you Data, that will be enough."

.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SPOCK: Okay, screw it. I wanted unification, but after you screwed me I'm just going to throw Romulus into a black hole.

PICARD: That robe. It looks extremely fragile and that part in the middle shouldn't survive sitting down too many times.
TORE: I have about five backups in my suitcase.

DEANNA: You heard me. Devonanni Ral has an unfair advantage that he is USING! For BUSINESS!
PICARD: What? That bastard! Using a personal advantage to win at business is evil. Get this bastard off my ship!
WORF: Gladly. You're no better than a 20th century human! Greedy selfish bastards!

DATA: You win the bet brother. Nobody questions that lie that I can't use contractions.
LORE: To messing with humans.
DATA: To messing with humans!

MAN WITH PHASER: There he is! The guy who wrote this script!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Pardek: Is that a lensflare?

Tore: Captain, will you autograph my PADD? It'll be a collector's item!

Picard: Certainly, young lady. Just as soon as you explain why a 24th-century computing device is less advanced than a 300-year-old iPhone.

Lore: What a delicious vintage! Human urine recyc makes quite the refresher, don't you think?

Data: Wait, what?

Granger: Keep shooting until they stop it with the "Send in the clones" jokes.

Picard: Attention all hands! Staring contest will now commence. First round: Ral vs. Troi.

Worf: 2000 quatloos on Deanna. She will bring honor to the ship's pool.

Riker: I'm impressed, Worf. You'll make a lot of money on that bet.

Worf: Not that kind of pool, Commander.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

First up to the plate, we have the "Purest of Intentions" Award, going to HMS Ark Royal for:

"Jean-Luc..."

"Guinan"

"Ready to get hammered?

Woo Hoo - two entries and I am top of both wins...!

"Captain, this cave looks almost exactly the same one we used 4 episodes ago"

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"Captain, your newest issue of Touch My Nacelles" has arrived

"Not on the Bridge, damn it..."

#

Worf: 'I know the Captain lets me wear my Klingon sash due to cultural reasons, but that... that... that dress is against regulations - plus her bum looks big in it'

#

The First Annual Soong Type Android Reunion went off to a great start

#

"Commander, Doctor... Would you mind ignoring the man to your right shooting a laser beam whilst looking like a knock-off Dirty Harry?"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: 'I know the Captain lets me wear my Klingon sash due to cultural reasons, but that... that... that dress is against regulations - plus her bum looks big in it'

Picard: I could stand to hear a little more.