Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #454: Free Drinks!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! A new contest and on time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Situational Awareness" Award going to HMS Ark Royal for:

"Captain, I sense people with weapons close by"

"Thank you, Troi"



Next, we have the "Not Taking Requests" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

Worf os: "Quick! Before he tries to play Nightbird again!"



Next, we have the "Confusing Controls" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

LOCUTUS: I am LoCUTUS OF BORG!
WORF: Stop! All you're doing is turning up the volume!


Next, we have the "Now don't be sour Inflatabledalek just because my team won..." Award, going to Inflatabledalek for:

Worf: Laser tag is without honour!


Next, we have the "I don't want to get too political in the contests but... Seriously?!" Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:

Brull: TRUMP? Are you serious?

Our Photoshop Award, goes to Gep Malakai for:

The Award goes to Leviathan for:

Picard: Captain's Log, stardate 43421.9. An unusual log entry today. Worf actually got the drop on someone and did not get his ass kicked. I've made a recommendation that he be awarded the Starfleet 'Medal of Adequacy'.

This weeks KBL goes to Nebusj for:

Worf: ``Now that you are in custody we are never going to give you up, never let you go, Rick Astley.''

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, after a week of dodging bad guys and setting phasers to stun, sit back, relax and have a drink with the crew of the Enterprisei!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Guinan: Just a few more minutes and I'll have your drink ready.

Picard: For crying out loud, just replicate the Earl Grey!

Riker: Did you say it was stirred and not shaken? It's actually better!

O'Brien: That's it! I'm moving to DS9!

Worf: That wasn't the antidote, the Captain really wants you off this ship.

Picard: (thinking) Missing an important mission, taking a shuttlecraft with Wesley and having my heart replaced. My life stinks.

 

[Leviathan]

Thanks for the FLEA.

Guinan: ...I got the idea from an ancient documentary called 'Breaking Bad'.

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Stuck in time.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Got my post in for the previous contest just a little too late. Oh well.

PICARD: These are quite a lot of exotic drinks.
GUINAN: They're all vodka with food coloring. Stupid people pay more this way.

AMBASSADOR: Ahh, Commander Riker. Thank you for so eagerly embracing my people's tradition of trading urine.

GEORDI: Huh. That's odd. I'm feeling this strange compulsion to hurt Chief O'Brien. Must...resist...must... *pours hot drink on O'Brien*

PULASKI: Your secret is safe with me Mr Worf. I won't tell anyone you drink daintily.

PICARD: Wait a minute. This isn't Earl Grey. This is DARJEELING! NUMBER ONE! FIND OUT WHICH ENSIGN BROUGHT ME THIS AND AIRLOCK HIM!

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

First of all, may I say thank you for not only choosing me as a winner, but also putting me at the top on my first entry ever...

"Jean-Luc..."

"Guinan"

"Ready to get hammered?"

#

"... and that is the end of our presentation. I hope that you will it in your hearts to donate money to help produce Axanar"

#

"Chief, while we're here, Odo wants a word with you..."

#

"Mr Worf, this tastes like Earl Gray"

"Hmm... This tastes almost exactly like that stuff from the Klingon Tea Ceremony Worf was telling me about"

(See what I did there - I linked two together)

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "'I'm a driod and you're annoyed'. Hum. 'I'm a droid and you're annoyed.' Yes, well, after several bottles of non-Synthahol alcoholic liquids, I can how that might be considered possibly funny. Perhaps I need to consume more."

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: That is the most hauntingly beautiful rendition of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" I have ever heard played on glassware.
Guinan: How I won Corn Queen back on El-Auria.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Will, do you agree that it's the duty of a good first officer to go on away missions, in order to gain experience while protecting his Captain?
Riker: Yes sir.
Picard: And how it only follows that the XO assumes the risks and rewards of such duties, while the captain remains protected aboard the ship?
Riker: Yes sir.
Picard: Any chance of you stepping back to let old Jean Luc have a chance for some adventure, just once?
Riker: No sir.
Picard: You're a good man. Oh by the way, Lwaxana Troi needs an escort to Risa.

Pulaski: After you drink the poison tea, I'll give you an injection.
Worf: I am Klingon, I don't need an antidote for the tea.
Pulaski: Yeah, it's not for the tea.

 

[Captain April]

Worf: Never go against a Klingon when DEATH is on the line! Ahahaha ahahaha ahah...

 

[Nerys Myk]

O'BRIEN: Your "homies" are going to get my dry cleaning bill.

 

[Finn]

Captain's log: Admiral Nechayev wasn't happy with my not meeting the "torture miles" quota for the past few weeks. I asked Geordi to go down to Ten Forward and do something about it.

 

[Triskelion]

LaForge: That's for never having any tools in your pocket! I can't use my VISOR for everything, you know - it's a sensitive piece of bioengineering - not a claw hammer!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Little known fact: Riker and Troi's first engagement was aborted after Riker drank from Troi's glass and accidentally swallowed the ring.

LaForge: Dammit, O'Brien! I asked for single-malt whiskey. This is clearly blended!

Secretly, Picard preferred a good dark lager to wine, even Chateau Picard.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Riker: This is what? Thank you for not telling me until after I"d finished the glass!

 

[shivkala]

Picard: ...and everyone night you finish off your entire stock?

Guinan: I have to, it's alcohol, it goes bad once it's opened.

Picard: I think that's another of O'Brien's fibs, like "I'll get right to it, Captain!"

Riker: I don't always drink Klingon Blood Wine, but when I do, it's Cha'X.

Drunk Geordi: Oopsie! I missed! I was trying to water the Chia Pet you've got growing on your head, Chief!

Pulaski: Hey, this is just warm Kool-Aid!

Picard: Captain's Log-I'm experiencing a bit of a crisis. I've eaten my biscuit too quickly and now I won't be able to dip it into the tea much longer. Do I turn around or just suck it up and drink the tea when the biscuit is gone?

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Wesley, did I ever tell you about the time I had a devil's threesome with your -
Wesley: OOPS HEY! LOOK AT THAT, I'VE FALLEN INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.....

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: "You tell me this will give me back my luxuriant mane?"
Guinan: "Honey, if I get this right, it'll turn you into Buddy Love!"

Picard os: "For the last time Will, wine tasting is a delicate art. You don't just down the bottle. First... the nose."
Riker: "Snort the wine through the nose, got it."

O'Brien: "What the bloody hell! What are you doing?"
Geordi: "The Captain ordered me to find the gremlins in engineering. Don't worry. You'e safe."

Worf: "This is the Klingon tea ritual, obviously a warrior's art so manly and unforgiving, that it will never be mentioned in any iteration of Star Trek, ever again."

Picard: "Merde! This is coffee. Bloody quantum entanglement messing up my replicator."


14 years into the future and in the Delta Quadrant...

Janeway: "Damnit, what is this muck? Earl Grey? Bloody quantum entanglement messing up my replicator."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

O'Brien: "Bloody hell Geordi!"
LaForge: "O'Brien? Damn! My visor must be in playback mode. I though this was the sink. Oh jeez. What did I just pee in?"
Troi os: "Aww yuk! I'm never eating chocolate again!"

 

[indycar]

Patrick Stewart's audition tape for Breaking Bad.

Riker (thinking): If I pretend to drink it slowly, maybe the rest of the crew will stop staring at me.

O'Brien: That's the sixth time this week and it's only Monday.

Worf: Stop imitating me. Just stop.

Picard: That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly.